Like the Doc. said, you are clear. It's very hard for a man to get HIV from a woman during normal vaginal or oral sex even without a condom. Let this be a learning experience...forget that it happened and move on. Don't tell your wife, it's not worth losing your marriage and child over this....just don't do it again.
Doctor and imdumb,
Thankyou very much for you comments - doc - you are legend - you have definitly relived my anxiety concerns to a degree where I can believe I have not contracted anything. I will definitly get tested in 4 weeks and a retest in 6 weeks.
One thought though - I know you say that becuase I wore a condom that I am at a very low risk - but what if the condom fell off during sex without me noticing - i'm not sure if i have a urinary tract infection but if I got it from her, could i not have got HIV too potentially. How would your conclusion change based on this. I'm pretty sure the condom was on when I came but can't be sure as it wasn't on when i came out. I guess from your comments I will be OK - I hope so doc - please confirm.
Your site is excellent - thankyou for your time in answering my questions - your comments are reassuring and it will get me to my test in 3-4 weeks time - thanks! I hope i am ok - i would hate to think i could give me wife something.
This is pretty common I am finding out. Husband loses his mind for a short period of time...realizes he has risked everthing he holds dear..and focuses every waking momemnt on the possibility of giving his wife HIV. Anxiety causes "symptoms" but nothing realy concrete..a sore throat here, a slight sting after urination, dull testicle ache..etc.
The fact is you wore a condom and there is no chnace you got HIV from this. There are only very slight 1 in a million type chnaces you caught anything. If you don't have any discharge or sores by day 10 you do not have an STD. And I can say that you will not have those symptoms. Many of us though work ourselves up to the point only a negative test will do. I was in your shoes and finally realized I either needed to tell my wife or get tested myself. I took the "get tested myself approach" and tested negative for HIV, Syphills, gonnerrea and chlymidia. No herpes test but since I had no sore I didn't bother nor am I worried about it because of lack of symptoms. If you tell your wife and then find out you are negative of anything, you will regret telling her. Just either forget it or get tested, whatever you need to do. If you buck the 1 in several million chnace you have something, then of coarse tell her. But beleive me, you don't have anything and you best coarse for everyone to have a happy and healthly life is to leave it in Vegas. (what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, remember?)
The next thing you HAVE TO DO, is figure our for yourself why you did it and how you are going to keep from doing it again. Counceling and knowledge of sexual addiction might help.
See many other threads about the low risk of acquiring HIV from a single episode of vaginal sex. You were protected by the condom, even if she were infected--which she almost certainly was not; penile skin contact with vaginal secretions isn't a risk, nor is oral sex. The urinary symptoms you describe do not sound like any STD, certainly not HIV.
You do not need HIV PCR testing; it will be a waste of money. Have a routine HIV blood test 3-4 weeks after exposure. Search through the many threads with search term "time to positive HIV test"; most infected people have poritive results by 4 weeks. A second test at 3 months is optional (but formally recommended by most experts).
The escort is right about you "freaking out way too much". It's understandable, perhaps, but unwarranted. Your wife and baby are not at risk.
Good luck-- HHH, MD