Worried I may have infected my partner with herpes

[unhappytease]

In my last relationship i noticed a blister on my boyfriend's penis. I told my doctor and she checked me and found no blisters on me and said that it was nothing to worry about. I requested to have a herpes blood test, but she said the test is unreliable and herpes is a very sophisticated virus. Anyway, I have been in my new relationship for two months and we had unprotected sex on a Monday night and on a Wednesday night, on Thursday morning he called me and said that he is experiencing painful urination and notice a trace of blood in his urine. He got tested for every STD that day  and everything came  back negative a week later. I also went to my clinic and got tested for everything, no sores or blisters were present but had a lot of vaginal discharge and received the same response for the herpes blood test, she said that i am too obsessed with herpes and from what she can see there was no reason to think it was herpes. Everything came back negative on my part. I never had any sores or blisters. But in December through April I had severe itchiness in my genital area I took an antifungal medication and it went away but returned after my menstruation. I made an appointment with an obgyn but the appointment is in August, apparently the free std clinic does not do herpes blood test.  
Do my symptoms sounds like herpes?
Do you think that I may have infected my new partner with herpes?

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Most questions about herpes on this forum come from people who are inappropriately worried about it.  But in your case, I believe your concerns are legitimate and that your doctor doesn't have a good understanding either of the disease or your concern about it.  I cannot say your previous partner's penile blister was herpes, maybe just a pimple--but herpes seems possible.  Also, your new partner's symptoms are not typical for herpes; blood in the urine is rare, if it occurs at all--but herpes can cause painful urination.  (With your finding of 'a lot of vaginal discharge' and your new partner's symptoms, I'm more concerned you might have chlamydia or gonorrhea.)

However, your symptoms indeed do not suggest herpes.  Putting all of the pros and cons together, my best guess is that you probably don't have herpes.  At the same time, you don't seem to be overly obsessed by the possibility--i.e., your concerns seem realistic to me.  Therefore, you should have a herpes blood test.  Both your providers are wrong about testing.  Although the blood tests aren't perfect, mostly they work well to tell clearly whether someone is infected or not.

Many public STD clinics don't do the herpes blood tests, mostly because of expense, and partly because they misunderstand the test.  So you may have to find another provider; even if the STD clinic doesn't do the test, they probably will be able to name a provider in your area who will do it.  Or, if you are in the US, call the American Social Health Association (www.ashastd.org); they often can provide the names of providers who undertand herpes in various parts of the country.

Bottom line:   Probably you don't have it, but the suspicion is there and you should be tested.

Good luck--  HHH, MD