Worried about Herpes

[asedesperate]

Dear Doc(s),

I know I'm really obsessed with this thing but this time I really freaked out and I'm in a place where I hardly can find a STD clinic.

I had a sexual encounter with a married (since 25 years she told me but she had 2 lovers in the last 4 years for a short time) woman 12 days ago and wanted to know of my risks regarding the details of this encounter:
3 times protected sex I'm 100% sure the condom was totally intact.
She didn't have any open sores and blisters around vagina and anus and also on lips at least in a very visible way.
She gave twice unprotected oral sex I think they lasted in total 5-6 mins without ejaculation.
Some brief rubbing with clothes on.
Just once before I put the condom her vagina touched my shaft only for a second but I pushed her back and put the condom on.

8 days later suddenly my penis head started a burning sensation and it hurts. I saw the right part of the penis head is   very very irritated and dark red. No white fluid inside nothing like this - as far as I see (I didn't look with a magnifier)
But the thing is I walked a lot with a wet swimsuit that day (like an hour so) short and it touched my penis frequently - there I started to feel it.
I didn't see such an irritatetion/rash/wound whatever you may call on my penis before but there are no white colorish things it was not raised. No Fluid when you squeeze that part of my penis head... it hurt especially when my penis touched my underwear.

I put Bepanthene creme from that  afternoon and this is the 4th day I saw these areas now my skin is slightly peeling the redness is gone 95% and since 4 days I use Bepanthene creme and ointment  and also cocoa creme.
All rednees everything is gone but it's tingling.  
Can this be the very first outbreak? Any other STD?
I didn't have fever or headache that I can recognize so far.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

These questions really have little relevance to your situation. Breif answers.

1) Does Herpes outbreak last only 4 days with visible sores?
Initial outbreaks typically take 2-3 weeks to clear.  REcurrences may take place over far shorter periods- less than a week.

2) You say that the are is covered - Does Herpes outbreak occur in the area where the infection is occurred? I mean I protected my penis head with condom but got infected from shaft - so should I expect my outbreak in shaft area? I may also ask this question regarding other STD's as well.

HSV infections occur at the site of contact/exposure, not elsewhere.'  Over 80% of HSV infection in men occur on the distal portion of the penis.

3) Is it possible to have an allergy to condom? Because whenever I use my penis head has a burning and tingling sensation and this makes me worried.

Yes, about 9% of people are allergic to latex.

4) What's low risk in terms of Herpes - you use always low risk but even when I use condoms it's said that there's a risk and I don't know what that low risk means and I worry about it. What would the risk be? What kind of scenario? I mean is it negligible somehow?

Your risk is negligile.  Numers vary acording to a variety of situations.  

5) Is it possible that an irritation (rugburn, friction or even an allergy) last more than a week?

Of course.
EWH

[asedesperate]

Dear Doc,
thank you for your reply and sorry for my late response.

I think you're right - I assume the same that I have some phobia or something like that against especially STD's which are "incurable".
I consistently use condoms and I know that this is the most smart thing to do and this is the far most safest thing you could do but I calculate every time the minimal risk which could happen...

I also believe that my partner is low risk aswell and I asker her about STD history and she told me that she never ever had any problems with any STD's so far. I know that it's not in words but at least I just want to believe as well.

Coming to my problem again, I just want to clarify some things if you allow:

1) Does Herpes outbreak last only 4 days with visible sores?
2) You say that the are is covered - Does Herpes outbreak occur in the area where the infection is occurred? I mean I protected my penis head with condom but got infected from shaft - so should I expect my outbreak in shaft area? I may also ask this question regarding other STD's as well.
3) Is it possible to have an allergy to condom? Because whenever I use my penis head has a burning and tingling sensation and this makes me worried.
4) What's low risk in terms of Herpes - you use always low risk but even when I use condoms it's said that there's a risk and I don't know what that low risk means and I worry about it. What would the risk be? What kind of scenario? I mean is it negligible somehow?
5) Is it possible that an irritation (rugburn, friction or even an allergy) last more than a week?

Thank you for your help Doc and Have a nice day

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome back to the Forum.  I've read through many of your nearly 40 posts and my sense is that you have issues with sex and that after sex with a new partner your anxiety levels go up and you start looking for signs of infection.  The exposure you describe was very low risk- the partner was low risk, you used a condom and the irritation you describe is an area which was covered by the condom and therefore still more unlikely to represent an infection acquired through the events you describe.  

As Grace has already indicated, none of us can make a diagnosis over the internet but what you describe does not suggest an STD but rather a local irritation, perhaps form your bathing suit, from masturbation or some other, non-STD cause.  

Most importantly and beyond this, I think you need to work to sort out why you are so readily overwhelmed with concern each time you have sex with a new partner.  Your posts suggest that this is difficult for you to accomplish on your own and therefore I suggest you talk this through with a counselor or other mental health professional.  In the meantime, I would not be worried about HSV.  EWH