Yet Another Hand Job Question

[OCDMAN]

I've read through the forums pretty thoroughly, and I want to get one thing set in my OCD racked mind--once and for all.  You state that it is virtually impossible to get any of a variety of STD's from mutual masturbation.  Yet I've read on several sites that it's not.  Are other what I would consider reputable sites just being on the safe side?  Or are they saying that it is at least theoretically possible to transfer STD's through genital-to-hand-to-genital contact and therefore must be considered potential?

I thought I was being very safe, but now I'm beginning to wonder if any sexual contact is ever safe.  While watching a friend and her girlfriend pleasure themselves sexually, I began to masturbate next to them.  As I watched, my friend's girlfriend reached over and played with my penis for a few minutes.  Specifically, she massaged the head of my penis using my pre-*** (I was sort of excited), and then she masturbated me with both of her hands.  I don't think that she had yet gotten any of my friend's or her own vaginal secretions on her hand, but she might have.  She might have already touched both of their vaginas.  I can't remember all of the intricate details.  I did not kiss either of the two women or engage in sex of any kind--no oral, vaginal or anal sex.  Not even close.  Well, actually my friend's friend started to perform oral on me but I stopped her.  The only thing that touched me was her hands, and as I stated, I don't know what was on them.

So.  My rational mind tells me that everything is cool, but my OCD tells me that life as I know it has ended.  I now waffle between fearing every little ich and pain and feeling goofy for stressing so much.  I'm paying way too much attention to my penis!  What say you?  I'd be more than happy to have you say I'm freaking for no reason!  But I really want to know the truth.           In your opinion, was my little voyeuristic episode a real threat to actually catching gonorrhea, herpes, hiv, et al.?  Or am I just being a pain in the *** and wasting your time?

Thanks for your answer.  I think what you are doing is a really needed service.  I do hope you get paid for this.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

As you already realize, your OCD is the problem, not your actual risk for STD.  In 30+ years working in a busy STD clinic (15,000 patient visits per year), I have never seen a case of any infection that was plausibly acquired by hand to genital contact. It simply does not happen, period.

Judge the professionalism of websites (e.g., CDC and American Social Health Association, versus sites run by commercial outfits or advocacy groups, which tend to be less objective); and whether comments by nonprofessionals are monitored by experts (like this site is).

Some sites undoubtedly say hand-to-genital contact can spread STDs because "common sense" supports the idea, or because individual persons claim to have been infected that way.  Such testimonials are the least reliable of all possible evidence and must be disregarded in virtually every case, no matter how strongly they are stated.  Proper sites demand evidence beyond common sense and individual claims.  There is no such evidence for hand-to-genital STD transmission.  And other sites, as you suggest, take the position that if any theoretical risk exists, people should be informed of it.  That's like saying there is a theoretical risk of being hit by a meteorite, which is true, but not distinguishing that risk from that of not wearing seatbelts.

Follow up with your OCD health care provider!  Good luck--

HHH, MD

[millaw]

OCDMan, I can empathize with you. I am afflicted with OCD and my obession-of-choice tends to be my health.  I have obsessed incessantly about STD's.  The only way to break this cycle is to seek out cognitive therapy through an OCD specialist. SSRI's are VERY helpful.  The Forum in which you should be spending time is the OCD, not the STD, forum! Ditto for me! Good luck and you will eventually be extricated from these obsessive/invasive thoughts!

[OCDMAN]

Thank you for your timely response.  I'm going to internalize what you have said and move on.  I'm mentally and emotionally tired of stressing over this encounter.  You're a good person to provide this service.  Again, my thanks.

[lance101]

A related discussion, hand-to-genital transmission was started.

[merlin2001]

"There is no such evidence for hand-to-genital STD transmission."
- Does this prove true even if your female partner has symptoms? If you make genital contact via your hands, and wash your hands afterwards, according to your above statements, there is no possibility of transmitting the STD from the female partner to yourself. Is this a correct assumption? I'm just trying to interpret your reply.

[OCDMAN]

I should have stopped while I was ahead.  I've really got to quit coming to this site (and others like it).  I am most happy with your definitive reply to my question (I've happily read it several times). Unfortunately, I read one of your answers to a  question posed today--namely "HPV Transmission Possible."  In it you state the following regarding the possibility of genital-to-hand-to-genital transmission of STD's: "Some people claim there are exceptions, and they may be right--but if so, it is rare."  I've pondered your response, and I'm thinking that perhaps IF there are "exceptions", they might be attributed to contact with infected fluids where both parties have other pre-existing and active STD's, such as herpes or gonorrhea (open sores or inflamed urethra), making such transmission slightly more possible.  I'll bet you can tell I'm not a doctor?  Huh?0

Anyway...I'm clinging to your reply to me based on your own vast, real-life experience.  Please know that I'm not debating you here.  I don't think that you have contradicted yourself.  I suppose I'm just thinking aloud attempting to completely strangle the OCD side of me.  Undoubtedly, I should keep my thoughts to myself.  I do not expect you to reply.

Thank you again, Dr. HHH.  This will be my last posting on the matter.  Namaste.