Terriffic site and forum ...... well done.
I'm 50 years old straight and have been single for last 6 years. I've had unprotected sex with 4 different girlfriends in the last 6 years.
An old girlfriend called and said she thinks I gave her genital herpes. I've never had any symptoms or outbreaks or any clues of herpes. I've been with 3 women since her and none have mentioned any signs of herpes to me including my current girlfriend.
My urologist said that a blood test for me would not prove anything if it came back positive as it would only show that I had been exposed at some time in my life.
I've researched many sites and reviewed photos / symptoms etc, but I don't recall experiencing any symptoms or outbreaks or sores at all. With no outbreaks or symptoms, can I actually have the virus and have passed it on??
Is there a another test that can verify an active infection without any symptoms?
Thanks so much
Your urologist is wrong, at least in part. If a proper HSV-2 blood test (i.e., the HerpeSelect test; see many other messages on this forum) is negative, it will prove you did not transmit to your partner. If it's positive, it will mean you could have infected her. No blood test can tell for sure whether you did transmit it or not.
If the infected woman has a confirmed new diagnosis of genital herpes, and if she had sex with you but nobody else in the 2-3 weeks before her symptoms started, then you probably are the source of her infection. However, 40% of people with apparently new herpes in fact have been infected a long time--so your partner's say-so doesn't necessarily mean she caught it from you. The fact that other partners didn't become infected doesn't mean much. If you are infected, you probably shed the virus from time to time--but it is intermittent and may be quite infrequent, so lots of time the virus isn't transmitted.
Anybody who has reason to believe s/he may have genital herpes has an ethical obligation to inform current and future sex partners. So look at the blood test this way: if it is positive, it will make no difference, because you now have that suspicion and therefore the obligation. If your test result is negative, you are off the hook. (And if you are positive, you can learn how to take precautions to help prevent transmitting to your partners in the future.)
Most people with genital herpes are asymptomatic and have no recollection of an outbreak. I suggest you read the herpes article in the link "STD Quick Facts and Articles" at the top of this forum.
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