chances of getting herpes

[newby811]

I am just getting into a new relationship.  the guy has genital herpes and takes a medication.  he has not visible symptoms.  i am not sure when he last had an outbreak.  we have not had intercourse or any other oral or genital contact yet.  i am wondering what the chances are of me contracting herpes from him if he uses a condom, and if he doesn't use a condom, and when either of us perform oral sex on each other, again, without him wearing a condom if he is receiving oral sex.

[gracefromHHP]

I encourage you to read the herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com or the herpes info at www.ashastd.org. Both will help you learn more about herpes.

Have you ever had a herpes blood test yourself? If not you should consider getting a baseline test done now. You two can't really assess your risk and decide what precautions are necessary until you both know who has what. Same with your man - ask him if he knows if he has hsv1 or hsv2 genitally or if it was just assumed it's hsv2 because it's below the belt.  Also ask him if he takes daily suppressive therapy - that is he takes medication every single day no matter what or if he just takes medication when he has symptoms.

I'm assuming you are female - correct me if I"m wrong. If so then if your man has hsv2 and you two do nothing but avoid sex whenever he has obvious genital symptoms - you are about 90-92% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from him.  If he takes daily suppressive therapy your risk is cut in half. Throw in condoms each time you have sex along with all that and you are about 97-98% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from him. Very reasonable odds for the most part.   As for oral sex - you can contract hsv2 orally from performing oral sex on him but you are more likely not to. His being on suppressive therapy will lower your risk as will barrier protection if you prefer.  

You will always be morelikely NOT to contract hsv2 from him even with minimal precautions though convincing yourself of that is usually easier said than done.  I"m glad you are taking the time to seek out more info on this incredibly common virus :)

grace