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dating with hpv
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The STD Forum is intended only for questions and support pertaining to sexually transmitted diseases other than HIV/AIDS, including chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, human papillomavirus, genital warts, trichomonas, other vaginal infections, nongonoccal urethritis (NGU), cervicitis, molluscum contagiosum, chancroid, and pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). All questions will be answered by H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D. or Edward W Hook, MD.

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dating with hpv

I've read a bunch on your forum and thanks so much for the invaluable information. I'm a man and was diagnosed with hpv warts by a dermatologist with a biopsy about two or so years ago. i had a couple areas burned off and treated with aldara. since then i've been back for a follow up and things seem to be all clear. I have oil gland bumps that I thought were warts but i have seen two derms and they both used a magnifying lens to examine the areas and didn't find anything suspicious for a wart.

I want to start dating again but i feel ashamed of my diagnosis. I was wondering if I tell a girl about my condition and she is ok with it, do i have an other obligations? I know that upwards of 85% or so of sexually active people get it, but for some reason, i still feel 'dirty'. it's very annoying. here are my questions:

1) as a man, can i get the HPV DNA test on a sample of my skin like a woman gets during a pap smear? if so, where?

2) If I disclose my infection from two years ago and subsequent treatment to a new partner, do i have any other ethical/moral responsibility prior to sexual contact?

3) I am just coming out of a long-term relationship (where i got hpv) and i am looking to just have casual partners--- as long as I disclose my past infection and use condoms (even thinking about dental dams), what else can i do, if anything? aside from encouraging the gardasil vaccine

4) do i have to wait to have sexual relations until a woman finishes the gardasil vaccines?

I dont know why, I just feel like hpv has ruined my sexual life. It's awful and has caused me a lot of anxiety and I'm wondering if other people experience this. I've read where like basically everyone who has sex gets this virus, but i still can't seem to come to peace with it. Is that common?
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Welcome to the Forum.  You have articulated your concerns quite well and it is clear that you understand that your feelings are not warranted.  Your prior genital warts have now been successfully treated, you are no longer likely to transmit infection to others and that your feelings of shame related to your earlier diagnosis are not justified.  With this as background, it seems to me that rather than worrying in the way that you are, your efforts would be better spent and more likely to help if you discussed your unwarranted concerns with a trained mental health professional than with efforts to find unnecessary tests.  That is my advice.  Having said that, I'll address your questions:

1) as a man, can i get the HPV DNA test on a sample of my skin like a woman gets during a pap smear? if so, where?
There are no recommended tests for HPV in men.

2) If I disclose my infection from two years ago and subsequent treatment to a new partner, do i have any other ethical/moral responsibility prior to sexual contact?
No, you are fully treated and not at risk for transmission to others.

3) I am just coming out of a long-term relationship (where i got hpv) and i am looking to just have casual partners--- as long as I disclose my past infection and use condoms (even thinking about dental dams), what else can i do, if anything? aside from encouraging the gardasil vaccine.
If you wanted you could take the HPV vaccine.

4) do i have to wait to have sexual relations until a woman finishes the gardasil vaccines?
I would not say so.  

I hope these responses are helpful.  Please work through this with a counselor. It is the best approach.  EWH
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yes, it has been my suspicion for some time that speaking to a mental health professional is a path I should explore. I have one more question:

1) I think all this anxiety arises from the possibility of recurrences. I'm now starting to read that the current thinking is shifting from a 'life-long infection' to one that is virtually eliminated.
I feel like I need reassurance that I don't have any new lesions. I'm wondering if this is something that is a valid concern or if this is bordering on obsessive thinking. I do have a strong family history of ocd/anxiety. Just wondering what your take is on the recurrence and getting checked out every so often is? and if I would have a recurrence, do i have to go back and inform partners?

sorry for being such a 'worry wart'..yes, pun indeeded! I really appreciate this forum. you gentlemen are such a help to us all out here who are struggling!
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300980_tn?1194933000
Your evolving sense, that this is not a life-long infection but one that the body controls, just like it controls other "incurable infections" such as the common cold is the proper way to think of this.

If you are having new partners or in an ongoing relationship with multiple partners, you qualify for periodic STD "screening (testing in the absence of symptoms) because you have had multiple partners over a period of less than a year.  As a matter of personal protection, we recommend annual testing for anyone who has had two or more sex partners in the past year (we consider this to be health maintenance- we also recommend you get your blood pressure and cholesterol checked regularly). Otherwise, unless you notice a new or conerning lesion, I would try not to worry, even if you need some professional help to get there.  EWH
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If I have a recurrence does that mean that my immune system will never figure the virus out?
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No. Recurrence occurs in up to 30% of persons following therapy.  Your body will "figure the virus out".  Try to relax.  EWH
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University of Washington
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