herpes??

[Stnulb23]

I am 22 years old and recently had my first STD test of my life for every STD in the book.  It came back positive for HSV type 1 but I have never had anything I thought was herpes genitally or orally.  I have had many sexual partners, many of them unprotected oral and vaginal.  I never told any of them i had hsv type 1 cause I didnt know.  Now I am freaking out thinking that I have herpes and wondering If I need to tell all other sexual partners for the rest of my life I have it.  I think about it nite and day and cant stop.  I have always been a confident goodlooking person but now all of that is gone.  Everytime I'm with a girl all I can think about is that I have hsv type 1.  I don't ever remember having oral or genital symptoms until now everything I think is a genital symptom or oral symptom for the past 3 months all different things only after I read up on it for a month now.  I am extremely parnoid, anxious, depressed.  I have not been with anyone sexual since I took my test.  I had sex last with my exgirlfriend oral and vaginal while she was cheating on her boyfriend whom I know she has sex with.  Did I get genital herpes from her in the last 3 months?
Do I need to tell every girl I'm with I have HSV type 1 for the rest of my life.  
Do I need to keep thinking about this?
Should I only date others with hsv type 1?
I've lost all my confidence in myself.

[Stnulb23]

My mother is 50 years old and actually has a cold sore right now.  Is it possible that I'm the one that gave it to her even though i never have had anything that resembles a cold sore.  
If I come to the conclusion that I probably got this as a child perhaps from my mother is it my obligation to live life like I have herpes?  Can I still have a normal life I've been living or do I need to now take into account i have herpes?  I feel like I can't just meet a girl somewhere and have end up having a sexual relationship without telling the girl I have herpes type 1.  I also have always loved to give oral sex and do all the time?  I cant anymore?   I don't even try to flirt or talk to girls much anymore because I feel guilty.  I just wanna be my normal happy confident self again.  

[Stnulb23]

I feel like I am totally losing it!  I have been told not to worry because 60 percent of people have hsv type 1.  I feel like I am a bad person and an outcast and that if I sleep with a girl the rest of my life and not tell her I am a bad person.  HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO REACT TO THIS POSITIVE  hsv type 1 test result?

[gracefromHHP]

You are allowing the IDEA of having any type of herpes infection control you. It' s just not worth it sweetie.

Yes indeed about 60% of adults have hsv1 orally - but only 20-40% of them ever get obvious cold sores to know that they are infected. Chances are good you contracted hsv1 orally from your family when you were a child or you could've contracted it from anyone you've kissed in your lifetime.  You'll probably never figure it out and it really doesn't matter.

So what do you do?  In your age group about 1/3 of your peers have hsv1 orally whether they know it or not. It's totally your choice how you want to handle it. Some folks talk about it even before they kiss someone. Others just talk about it before oral sex. Others - never talk about it at all.  Since you are in the age group where hsv1 genitally is responsible for 60 % of all genital herpes infections - I encourage you to discuss it before performing oral sex on a partner. Discuss whether barrier protection is a good idea or not. Also it's always best if your partners get tested for herpes and other std's so you know their status from the getgo.  Since most folks have no idea they have hsv2 - getting tested is always the best idea.  If your partner is also hsv1+ then there is little risk of transmitting it to their genital area. If they aren't - the risk is still pretty low but obviously it can happen during oral sex.  

Don't allow this common virus to be the reason why you are staying home on a saturday night!  It's very common and just using some common sense goes a long, long way in protecting partners against contracting it orally and genitally.

grace

[AdviceSeeker06]

"Don't allow this common virus to be the reason why you are staying home on a saturday night! It's very common and just using some common sense goes a long, long way in protecting partners against contracting it orally and genitally."

Well said.

-AdviceSeeker06

[estrellab]

Don't get on yourself. If you don't have symptoms especially. Most people have hsv 1 whether they have symptoms or not. You are fine.

[Stnulb23]

i really do appreciate the feedback....it does ease my mind a bit but it is still hard to have the same outlook I had before........I almost feel sick all the time now and everything is due to herpes  in my mind

[momchilo]

Hey my friend,
Put it this way, when you go out, 6 out of 10 people you see have it.
So, in a sense, you are majority. Don't freak out and in a few weeks, it'll be all back to normal. If I were in your place, I would feel obligated to tell my sexual partners about it. I recently met a girl and started dating. On a 3 date she told me she has herpes. I did freak out initialy, and on the spot did not want to date her anymore. When I thought more about it, I realized how honest and respectfull person she was by telling it to me be4 anything happened. We are still together.

[gracefromHHP]

good for you!! with just a little effort you can significantly reduce your chances of contracting herpes - both orally and genitally. It's so not worth walking away from a good relationship for.

have you been tested yourself?


grace

[yoyo321]

I felt the same way you did. I have only told one friend about it and she told me not to worry about it. She had mentioned her brother had it too and he lived a normal life. Now that i dont think about it i feel ok but i understand how you feel. the first few months i felt exactly the same; thinking about it day and night, didnt feel like going out, felt like an outcast with my friends as well. but now i dont let it bother me so just live life as it goes.. you live and learn so hey i might not know you but i definitely do understand you. by the way i am 21 so we are both pretty young......