Welcome to the STD forum.
Only rough estimates are available. But here are some pertinent data. In a study to determine the effectiveness of antiherpetic therapy (valacylovir) to prevent transmission of HSV-2, monogamous couples who were HSV-2 discordant -- i.e. one with HSV-2, the other without it -- the rate of transmission was about 5% per year. That is, the virus was transmitted in 1 in 20 couples every 12 months. The couples had unprotected sex about 2-3 times per week. For purposes of simple calculation, let's say it was twice a week, i.e. each couple had sex 100 times each year. That means 1 transmission roughly every 2,000 episodes of vaginal sex -- i.e. 0.05% chance for each exposure.
Now let's factor in the odds you have a partner with herpes. That's around 1 in 5 adults in the US, i.e. 20%. That would make your risk of infection, for any single episode of unprotected vaginal sex, something like 0.2 x 0.0005 = 0.0001. That's 1 chance for ever 10,000 sexual exposures.
In the US, HSV-2 rates vary by race (whites and Asians, lower risk, blacks and Latinas higher); and the risk is higher if a partner has newly acquired herpes, perhaps lower if her infection is longstanding. Age is also important, with substantially lower HSV-2 risks in younger women (e.g., under 25) than older. And so on. And most important, much lower if you consistently use condoms.
My advice is to not worry about this too much. And to use condoms for new or casual partnerhips.
Regards-- HHH, MD
excellent answer.
I just can't understand the disconnect between herpes transmission occurring "1 in 10,000 sex acts" to "1 in 4 adults in the US have genital herpes"
I don't know about you guys but I doubt I'm at 10,000 sex acts yet. Although I am working on it.
good question; great answer.
let's hope everyone uses condoms.