Could I have Schizophrenia, if not what is it?

This is really weird and I really dont know how to describe how I am feeling..So im just going to try..And if you have any questions..just ask and I will try my best to answer...


I have been feeling like this since I was around 15 or 16..I am now 20.
I will look at something and wonder If I am in a dream or nightmare. I think maybe i am being punished from a past life. I lay in bed almost everynight and ask god why he lets me think the way I think.

Everything is like that. My life, my body, my family, my freinds,my car..everything to the very answers you will be giving me shortly....Its really freakin scary..
When something bad i feel has happend or is going to happen to me, I hear in my head scary music witch makes it even more terrifing then it needs to be.

There are times when I feel like im in 3rd person...and its creepy as hell

To be honest nobody knows this about me. I havant told anybody this..Witch is why I am on Yahoo answers because I am embarresed about this...

I will be walking in the park and the world will just look like a pastel painting...Do you know how much that freaks me out when that happens???

Trust me I cry about it...I consider an escape every now and again when it get out of controll.
I dont hear voices or anything...But the thoughts in my head sound diffrent then my real voice..I dont know if thats normal


Idk i feel like almost everyone i come into contat with is out to get me. The days seem to run together so perfectly its so weird and hard to explain. I feel like Im fighting Demons..

When I was younger, I remeber asking god to use me. I remeber telling him that I did not care how dirty or hard or painful it was. I just wanted him to use me..Even if it was like JOB..But Now I cant help but think he is testing me.And Im sad to say I want out...I want to feel free again in my head..

I dont want to sound crazy...this probably sounds irrational
so
Am i crazy or what..Please help

[bluetray1]

Hi,
First, don't consider yourself crazy.
If I get the gist of your post it sounds like everything is almost surreal to you.
I would suggest copying your posts and discussing them with a psychiatrist or therapist.
I have heard of people who hear music in their heads also.  There could be many reasons you're feeling all that you do, but a therapist or psychiatrist could better answer all of your questions.  You don't sound irrational; you expressed what you're experiencing very well.  Good Luck with All. Oh, you're  not being punished either; you're experiencing something you're not comfortable with.

[BoardwalkEmpire]

You hit it right on the T. Those are the words I was looking for. Everything seem surreal.
The problem is I am in the military and I fear being discharged for this. So im hoping to kinda seek some answers and advice to overcome this..

[bluetray1]

Hi Again,
I believe you must ask yourself some questions like; is all of this interfering with your life and your performance in the military.  Surely you can talk with even a medical doctor in the military, therapist or psychiatrist who can then help you with what you're experiencing. I cannot diagnose you or know what is going on in entirety I'm afraid.  You seem very aware of what you're experiencing.  Do you believe you lose touch with reality may I ask or that you cannot function the way in which you want to ???  
I'm sure whatever is going on with you can be treated with medication and or therapy.  You must love the military, but you should be comfortable with yourself in your life.  I wish I could be of more help or offer suggestions.  Try and  not think too much about being discharged, but think more about your mental and physical well being.  I'm sure that there are other occupations you can do if you were to be discharged which I'm not so sure would happen anyway.  They should be there to help you.  You do know that all people are not out to get you so you should try self-help  techniques also such as reaffirming the truth about all. When you say you feel like you're in the third person I'm not sure what you mean, but again please do talk with those qualified to assist you.  You're very young and have your whole life ahead of you; think positively.  Good Luck and don't be afraid of talking with someone.  How about a Priest also; think about that too.

[drifter0213]

you can seek help if you go to mental health and ask to talk to a mental health professional maybe make an appt. you'll be fine ok :)

[bluetray1]

Hi,
I am not trying to diagnosis you because I am not a professional, but this has come to my mind and you may want to check it out to see if it's fits what you're experiencing also.  I'll give just one link okay, but please do speak with someone and Drifter is right; you'll be fine.  Here is the link I thought may be of interest to you; hope it helps and don't forget that there are support forums for just about everything.
Take Care and here is just one link out of many:  http://www.sound-mind.org/depersonalization.html