Hi, I have been diagnosed with Bipolar I w/o Physcotic/mixed episodes w/severe depression but I sometimes wonder if I have schizoprenic tendencies. I have told anyone of my thought; not even my p-doc. I have heard and seen a few things years earlier, only a few time and it has been 4 yrs. since last time. I heard voices a few times as a teenager and felt the presence of something standing by me, very strong feeling. When I was 54 (now 57) I saw a evil figure and a felt a good figure behind me. My fingers were crossing into a cross and something was physically pulling them apart and then they would go back to a cross, this happened several times. I heard a voice say, "Go away, Christ lives in this house" and it all went away.
I tend to isolate,but I have alot of biopolar symptonms like sudden rage. mind having thoughts that will not go away, unable to concentrate, feeling of elation and thinking I am capable of anything, impulsiveness, deep depression also. I don't have friends and would rather stay by myself. Could I have schizoprenia tendencies or would this just be part of bipolar?
Have you considered that perhaps it is related to more of a "spiritual" thing?
Ask yourself what causes you to become angry (sudden rage), what kind of thoughts do you have, what causes feelings of elation and also what may be causing the depression?
You should ofcourse speak with your doctor about all of this to see if maybe you've been experiencing something of a spriitual crisis.
Such an occurance that you experienced about an evil figure and then a good one could possibly have been a spiritual type thing.
These types of experiences are frightening and can cause depression and other symptoms and will leave one feeling isolated because you probably believe noone will understand.
Ask yourself some questions here; do you believe what you have expereinced could be related to a personal spiritual matter and if so you are not alone and can speak with a priest or others who have also experienced such phenomena..
I am ofcourse in the minority on this here, but I do believe it exists and will cause symptoms you've mentioned which can and should be treated.
Perhaps a therapist may help you to better understand what you're experiencing as well as sticking with the psychiatrist for medications for the symptoms as well as diagnosis.
Try and figure out what the exact causes are for your symptoms; for example, did this occurance set it on or did the syptoms (symptoms) exist before and after this occurance.
Like I say, only you and those you trust can help determine the causes for your symptoms...Keep an open mind though.
Good Luck To You....
Good Song Hey Jude by the way.
The difference between bipolar with psychotic features and schizoaffective disorder (which I have made a recovery from, read through my posts) is that in bipolar with psychotic features a person has psychotic thoughts specifically during moodswings and in schizoaffective disorder a person experiences them all the time. Schizophrenia does not have an accompanying mood disorder. You can ask your psychiatrist more about why they diagnosed you with bipolar with psychotic features but you can also keep track of what happens with the mood tracker and print out the results for your psychiatrist.
I wouldn't worry too much about schizophrenic tendencies, that just means you tend to lean towards a schizophrenic way of thinking if what I was told is correct. It's always possible for bipolar disorder to have psychotic symptoms like you touched base on and your doctor probably wouldn't diagnose you with psychotic feature if you didn't tell them stuff related to psychosis although at the same time it could just be paranormal activity happening to you.
Yes, I have considered the possibility of paranormal activity and a spiritual experience. I was convinced it was spiritiual and sometimes I wonder if it was real. It sure seemed real at the time and was very scary. If it was spiritual, I sure am glad my guardian angel was standig by my side! Thank everyone for thier imput.
I have no idea what triggers the manic as it comes on me so suddenly. The rage or agression comes on really fast too. The depression, I can usually figure that one out unless it is accompanied with mania.
I think mania and psychosis are closely linked somehow, I read a person who is severely manic and a person with schizophrenia are extremely hard to tell apart. For me darkness has always been a trigger with additional details making it worse but I only have a psychotic disorder. My point at the start though was that with psychosis it is hard to tell if you're getting worse. I think mania also is because usually when people have the elevated mood they think they are just doing better so in a way it is like psychosis and it can even cause psychosis, possibly even ruining insight into a person's self even more.
I have suffered from major clinical depression throughout my life, however, there were issues that I never looked too deeply at due to the fact that I considered it part of depression. I have recently had a severe episode with paranoia, and extreme stress. I immediately contacted my doctor, and he put me on abilify. I've only been on the medication a few days, but already I feel the affects. I'm much calmer (maybe a bit too much but I know these meds take time for acclimation). I now believe that I have actually been suffering from schizoaffective disorder all my life and I have not properly been diagnosed. This is not the fault of any of my doctors. I mainly only discussed depression with them.
On occasion I have audio hallucinations. When I have the audio hallucinations, I am completely aware that I am hallucinating. I know that I am not hearing anything real. As I said, they are rare, but have been going on for years. Now here is the strange part. In a nut shell, I lost someone I loved dearly when I was a child and have never completely got over that loss (my father). There have been many times throughout my life, when I have felt his "presence." It is very strange what I'm about to tell you. The crazy thing here is that he has given me warnings -- he has warned me many times to stay away from certain people. I don't hear his voice or see him, but just feel his presence and some how understand his message. Everytime I have gone against his warnings, I have regretted it. I question if there is a possibility that there is some kind of spiritual communication going on. Then again, maybe these experiences are another type of hallucination. I really don't know.
I do know that I have experienced paranoia my whole life -- this has just recently come to my attention -- in my 50s! As I said, I always blamed everything on depression. When I was a child, I remember feeling a great deal of fear that whenever a member of my family went some where in the family car they were going to get killed in an automobile crash.
As I look back over my life, I now clearly see that paranoia and fear, along with depression, have hurt my life to a significant extent. It hurt my professional life, relationships, etc. You know, I never realized that I was suffering from more than one mental illness. I am and I have to accept it. I've also recently become aware that there are triggers that can set off feelings of paranoia and fear and lack of esteem. I need to learn to recognize these issues and avoid them. Once you know who your enemy is, then you can arm yourself. It has just recently come to my attention that my mental state was far worse off than I realized.
Paranoia is simply hideous and I hope the abilify helps.
Also, could any of you explain to me what psychotic thoughts are -- what are they like for you?
I really appreciate any help and insight into what I have experienced from any one.
Hey I'm the same way. My diagnosis is bipolar 1 w/o psychotic feautures, but when I'm "okay" I can tell that my thinking is a bit delusional, plus mild hallucinations latley. I also have a few symtoms (symptoms) of schizophrenia I believe, delusions as well as latley been isolating, I repeat conersations by myself for hours, sudden inability to feel emotion or even smile then having to repeat what ppl around me or on tv or saying
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