My doctor diagnosed me with Schizoid Personality Disorder. I'm 18 and female. I have had hallucinations (auditory and visual) since I was a child. The older I got the worse it became. The girl I hear is rude, she bothers me with suggestions that I should kill myself, or my family. Or that I need to leave (i don't know where to), She called me a bi*ch and showed me all these things I didn't want to see.
For the longest time (even now) I have weird delusions such as looking into peoples eyes means they can read my thoughts, or that thinking to much about the past means I'll get sucked into it and be stuck there forever which terrifies me endlessly.
I had halllucinations as a kid there their were millions of bee's in my room. I could hear them, and sort of see them. I saw their sound waves. If I left my room the sound would fade slowly the further away I got, than the closer I came to my room the louder it became. Their wasn't a logical explanation for this.
I know that Schizoid Personality Disorder doesn't involve bouts of Schizophrenia, but I think I have bouts of Schizophrenia (it's possible with Schizotypal), because my hallucinations happen occasionally but last about a few weeks.
I'm constantly depressed and suicidal, I have been since I was ten years old. I have violent thoughts of murdering my family in the most brutal way. My mom's boyfriend hunts so their are a lot of guns all over the house, I know how to shoot them all as well.
But I have a plan after I kill them that involves skinning and a lot of other stuff.
I don't know how to tell this to my new Psychiatrist. I know he's been to school and must know his stuff, but I still really need him to understand that I need some help with my hallucinations and delusions.
That is clinically separate from schizophrenia because although a person experiences psychosis it interferes with some aspects of their reality testing and not others, unlike schizophrenia which causes full blown psychosis at all times if untreated. Any psychiatrist would understand it because the criteria is in the DSM-4 (the standard diagnostic manual) which they are trained with. The best thing to do is explain exactly what is going and have him speak to your previous doctor and have your previous medical records be transferred as well.
If you're having problems bringing this information to your doctor's attention, maybe you can write notes to help you get it all out when you see him next. Or, you could just write him a letter and hand it to him when you see him. That may help get things started well enough to convince him he needs to be searching further into what's going on with you. If he's unhelpful after you let him know, find a new doctor.
As myenzoorka suggested, writing notes is helpful and my psychiatrist even said himself it was a smart thing to do when I did it with him where people helped me write down symptoms I was experiencing since my self evaluation can be pretty damn bad. As for dealing with your hallucinations and symptoms in general, the psychiatrist will most likely refer you to a therapist or something along those lines because in general psychiatrists aren't trained in psychotherapy (though this isn't the case with all of them, there is one person I talk to on here who has a psychiatrist who also performs psychotherapy) so it all depends on them.
If it's awkward for him - he needs to get a new job fast! If it's awkward for you, try to remember that a good psychiatrist won't judge you for the problems you have - just try to help you. I highly doubt, if he is of any merit, that he won't feel the need to help with your hallucinations and delusions immediately. All the doctors I've seen seem a lot more urgent about treating me once they know I have hallucinations. Just be ready to explain everything in as much detail as you can. That will help ensure any treatment you receive is as helpful as possible.
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