Someone important in my life is freaking out on me when I try to talk to them and stuff. They said I need to man up and act sane. I don't even know what I'm doing to cause it because when I tried talking to them in conversation they said the above. I'm feeling suicidal and they told me it was melodrama and that they don't have time for things like that. I told them I'd go see a doctor about it and they told me I was going to get kicked out of the country because I still don't have my permanent residence visa yet. Everything I do gets me screamed and yelled at by them. I feel like too much pressure is being put on me because everyone is expecting me to carry this person through life and get a high paying job to support us both and I'm still on disability in the US.
Well I was getting yelled at by everyone in the house all at once as a continuation of this problem, so I went into a trance and by the time I snapped out of it I was dripping blood on the floor from where I had ripped the blade out of a shaving razor and used it on my wrist... I feel much better mentally but I think it's left everyone in shock that I live with.
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