Why is it so bad?

Is it so bad to want the man that was in my head back? B.c he supported me. He helped me survive through the pain he caused me....why do people not see it? Why does on have to be "bad" just b.c hey do their best to help and they end up trying to kill you?! All you can do Is your best right? Why must people assume the worst? Everyone's always saying how good you have it and appreciate it. Well WTF I appreciated him and I got put on meds!!!! Forced. Now I'm trying to wean off of them while maintaining a "normal" appearance and attitude! B.c this shyt is rediculous! I'm an adult! Please, someone tell me, that if it makes things better fo more than myself, why is it so bad?!?!?!?!

*tear*

[ILADVOCATE]

  If these thoughts are important to you it would be worthwhile to discuss with them with your therapist. Also you had posted that you were diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder and that does need medication but sometimes only partially responds to it and cognitive behavioral therapy can be helpful as well so it might help to find out about that.
  When I was first started on medication and then didn't realize why I needed it and discontinued it and had to start it again because some of the thoughts intruded on my reality tested and I was hospitalized I did at the time see the psychiatrists and other people who were trying to help me as antagnoistic. However after that I educated myself about why medication was neccessary and always discussed with any psychiatrist I was seeing what their specific concerns were and what the medication was treating. Its best to not make changes to the medication without discussing it with them but if you have concerns let them know what they are and see what they can do to help you.

[Pootagirl]

Well, I told my psychiatrist yesterday....he's just a nice *******....really he's nice, but he's just like everyone else! Saying its psychosis, not real, blah blah blah blah. Shyt like that. Sickening.

SO SICK OF THIS!!!! I'LL SHOW PEOPLE I DON'T NEED THE MEDICINE....but most of all, I'll show myself!!!! I just don't understand why people don't believe me. All the reasons it's "necessary" to take meds for me is why I wish not to take them!!!!