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In past 4 years - death of brother, mother, and husband. H was in bus. with parents and our daughters worked for him. After much stress and heartache I bought inlaws ownership % of bus. Was nightmare. H died in Jan. '06 9 mths after brain canc dx. Things have settled down. My HS bf got in touch with me in Oct. '06 and have been "together" since then.Except we live 1500 miles apart.Visit often, however, he has Hep C and is in treatment (had treated) but relapsed. So, love each other and have a great relationship. He is a wonderful person.Problem is I can't relax and just go with the "flow". Feel insecure for no reason & he is understanding. Feel anxious& lonely, at same time want to be together when can & help him thru his treatments & be there for him until this passes & can get on with getting to know each other under more "normal" circumstances & explore possibility of future together. Feel great when I am at his house, but at home the anxiety kicks in.At loose ends and not able to concentrate. At times start to feel resentment toward him that things are not different (can't be) Sometimes think irrationaly that am going to lose him too. Take Wellbutrin and Xanax at night to sleep. Like separation anxiety with a child? Any help would be great.
I would strongly urge you to to seek professional counseling or therapy on a consistent basis. At this time in your life, it would be in your best interest to receive additional support from a professional.
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