Boyfriend has extremely low libido due to abstinence from porn.

[punkinye]

People, please help me. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 1.5years now. few months ago i found out that he is a porn addict & hid it from me.When I asked him why he watched porn, he replied that he needed to watch porn to maintain his interest in having sex with me (he needed some "tips" from porn) + he dint have too much sex with his previous girlfriends because they dint meet each other so much,so he became addicted inorder to satisfy himself. He then told he will stop watching porn for me.

But twice later I  found out that he had watched porn and masturbated when he was 2-3 days away from me or when i went away to visit my parents for 14 days. since past 5 months,he has some problems with his university. he failed a year in university and has some financial problems.so he is very stressed and feels sad about his life (that he is a failure etc). Also his sex drive is very low. First he told me its because of his stress that he cant have sex and now he says its because he doesnt watch enough porn. so his sex drive is low. i have to give him 2-3 months so he can fuly stop watching internet porn.

Now Im scared if he will have some other affair because i forbid him to watch porn, so his sexual drive towards me is low,so he needs some excitement of seeing other ladies being "fu*ked" :(. I love his so much and i dont want my stupidity to ruin our relationship.

Please tell me, do you think that because he will stop watching porn totally his tendency to have affairs with other women will increase? Also should I allow him to watch porn just because he is totally becoming out from sexual interest? :( Im 22 and he is 34. we used to have sex 2-3 times a week and now i have to beg for sex from him atleast once a week :(.  please reply.

[fedupwife]

I understand how it feels to have a husband who is addicted to porn.  He does it when I am not home or when I am asleep.  The only time we have sex is once a month if we're lucky.  I went four months without sex before I said something because I wanted to have him initiate sex for a change. I finally confronted him about his addiction.  He said that he would stop. Our sex life is worse than before. I read the comment about the boyfriend may have a low libido because he is still into his addiction. Do you think that my husband is continuing to watch porn? How can I tell?
fed up

[Jonas_Blane]

I am a guy that went through a very similar situation in a past relationship.  When I met her, I was deep into the addiction.  Even during times when our sex life was great, I still needed my fix (even sometimes just hours after I had just been with her).  In my opinion punkinye, it is not other women that should be your primary concern.  Your primary concern is the addiction itself.  People who are affected by that are living in a fantasy world that is a lot more intriguing because you can be with any variety of woman at any time ... and they never say no to anything.   I can tell you that your man more than likely has a low libido because he is STILL deep in his addiction.

The only way this can be reversed is if your man chooses to take the steps necessary to get out of the fantasy and return back to reality.  When I was with my ex, I was too into the fantasy to let it go.  Now I am at a point where I realize the negative impact that has on my life and I am taking the steps to get away from it.  If you or your man have not done so already, check out this post:

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Mens-Health/Too-much-porn-masturbation-cause-ED/show/183203?personal_page_id=1785694

This is what motivated me to get away from the addiction.  I wish you luck.

[rafe44]

Stress can cause a guy to be uninterested in sex. But i kinda agree with Bear. What you may want to do is to suggest that u and him go to some counciling. Good luck

[PromisedLand]

I think all those excuses are BS...what  you have is a boyfriend addicted to porn and he does need total abstinence from it (and support from you assuming he still loves you and you him) and perhaps some sort of therapy....or do as my wife said.."Porn or me" as she held the door open...

I'm still here....I'd love to write some more but am buried with work...perhaps others will come along..to tell you how wonderful porn is and how it helps THEIR relationship...here;s a good example where the opposite is true

Jim