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Cannot Orgasm During Sex
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Cannot Orgasm During Sex

Hi i am 19 years old and i cannot orgasm during sex, i can only orgasm with a vibrator on the clitoris while i tense so hard my muscles ache afterwards, i used to be able to manualy stimulate the clitoris with my fingers but i got slack and started using a vibrator and now i cant seem to use my fingers anymore. I have had sex with 3 people including my boyfriend now and i have been with him for almost 3 years now. I do get aroused and it still feels good most of the time but sometimes i feel nothing. All sex does is make me more aroused. I havent told my boyfriend this because i dont want him to be disappointed and now i also dont want him to know i have been faking it for 2 and a 1/2 years.I dont understand because it does feel good but i just dont get there. I dont know what to do, should i go see a doctor or is this just the way its gonna be forever? If anyone is in the same boat as i am please let me know
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Avatar_m_tn
Nope! Your body is fine. Just like most women in this world you taken your stimulation levels to a high point that a penis cannot fulfill by using sextoys such as vibrators. You did it to yourself!

2 things I suggest:

1) stay away from self-pleasure and maybe over time your clit will become more sensitive to natural sex.

2) or include a vibrator into your sex life with your boyfriend

Vibrators are great sex toys but if use too too much that vibration will definitely numb your clitoris.
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1173687_tn?1308076991
Vibrators DO NOT numb the sensitivity of your clitoris but it does condition you to relax differently while aroused. You orgasm more easily by yourself because there are less distractions and it's easier to focus on what you want to achieve.

Including the vibrator while having sex is a good idea. Definitely tell your boyfriend what's going on, feeling guilty about it is just going to make it even harder to relax and enjoy it. Also, try a position on top so you can grind your clit against his pelvic bone.

Exercising your PC muscles will also help, the stronger your PC muscles the easier it is to reach orgasm. There are things like ben wa balls that are designed exactly for this. I've been teaching sex education for three years now and one of the big things I hear is that vibrators make you less sensitive. It's not true and don't ever feel like you've done something to change or hurt your body.

If you decide to bring a vibrator to bed with you and your boyfriend try several different positions so that you can figure out what's less awkward for you. If you require several minutes of stimulation have him start out slow and work toward your orgasm. Communication is the big part, tell him what to do and what feels right. Trust me, if the sex is good for you it's good for him.
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Avatar_m_tn
Doesn't take rocket science to figure that vibrating the nerves reduces the sensitivity touch levels. Thats why she doesn't feel anything when she touches her clit with her hands vs. the vibrator. Why is that she can still get off with the vibrator but not her hand (and she said she used to get off with her hand)?

Thats because her hand cannot stimulate her clit like a vibrator does. And thats the same reason why is she is not getting much stimulation when the penis/body rubs against her clit.

Tell your boyfriend to use one of those condoms with the vibrators and maybe you will feel more stimulation.
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1536593_tn?1292560799
Vibrators do NOT decrease sensitivity, and it's not rocker science, it's nerve science which is a lot more difficult to deal with since nerves and the brain can change.

Nerves constantly regrow, and charge, so don't worry about that. I used a vibrator for 2 years because I couldn't get off with my hand originally, now I can. Renshai is correct about the muscles. If all you're doing is sitting and watching a movie or are doing a desk job kind of thing, do some internal exercises- such as clenching your inner muscles repeatedly, not just rapid clenching or to a beat, make sure it's different and you hold the muscles a few times, it may feel odd but it can help. Also, if you only masturbate when you're really horny then don't. Masturbate even if you just need some tension release. I have the same problem, with the muscles clenching so tight they ache afterwords (mine's in my lower back) and with having never orgasmed during sex. I don't find that being on top really helps any, honestly doggy-style (or other deep penetration positions help more). Don't feel bad about faking, though if you don't want to tell him you don't have too, it's understandable that you would feel bad and if it will make you uncomfortable then you it's not necessary. Just tell him you've been having issues lately and want to try something new. I'd try some of the tingling lubricants (never used them myself but it's worth a try).
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Avatar_f_tn
We train our body as to what feels good and when we use toys such as a vibrator, our bodies can no longer get the same satisfaction as from using our fingers or from a penis. If you stop using the vibrator, you may be able to regain some of the nerve sensitivity you have lost by using the vibrator. Or you can try bringing the vibrator to bed with you and use it while having sex, if both you and your boyfriend are comfortable with doing so. Otherwise, just back off from using the vibrator and try different positions.  
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Avatar_f_tn
So you have 3 years off sex education. I think you have to do another 3 years cause just read what a verry popular an well educated sexologe says about this. Her name is Yvonne Fulbright. So read and learn

Yvonne Fulbright over at FOX raised a question that I though was worth discussing: Can vibrators do more harm than good?But is it possible that the very thing that can teach a woman how to climax can become a very harmful sex toy that can do some serious sex life damage?

Of course, I don’t mean that a vibrator can cause any real physical harm – but what it can do is turn a woman into an addict and result in her needing it to get off.

It can make sex feel mundane

When you become so used to having an orgasm with a vibrator, it can numb you to sex with another person and make you feel like you need it to get off.

Mental drawback

Because you really believe that you need it to orgasm, you will not orgasm without it. Instead, you will wait for the sex to end and then get off with your toy or try to incorporate it into your sex acts every single time.

Clitoral necessity

There’s no way that man’s fingers of tongue can move as quickly as a vibrator (though there are many men who have tried), so if your clitoris is accustomed to only that sensation for orgasm, then that’s what you’ll end up needing.

To keep this from happening, don’t use your vibrator on a daily basis. Try instead to use it on occasion, with your lover or without, and don’t depend on it for orgasm.

Vibrators make great teaching tools for women who don’t know how to reach orgasm and for women who want to get off because their single, or want to throw some kink into their sex lives. But when the vibrator becomes the sex life, you’ve got issues.
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Avatar_f_tn
So you have 3 years off sex education. I think you have to do another 3 years cause just read what a verry popular an well educated sexologe says about this. Her name is Yvonne Fulbright. So read and learn

Yvonne Fulbright over at FOX raised a question that I though was worth discussing: Can vibrators do more harm than good?But is it possible that the very thing that can teach a woman how to climax can become a very harmful sex toy that can do some serious sex life damage?

Of course, I don’t mean that a vibrator can cause any real physical harm – but what it can do is turn a woman into an addict and result in her needing it to get off.

It can make sex feel mundane

When you become so used to having an orgasm with a vibrator, it can numb you to sex with another person and make you feel like you need it to get off.

Mental drawback

Because you really believe that you need it to orgasm, you will not orgasm without it. Instead, you will wait for the sex to end and then get off with your toy or try to incorporate it into your sex acts every single time.

Clitoral necessity

There’s no way that man’s fingers of tongue can move as quickly as a vibrator (though there are many men who have tried), so if your clitoris is accustomed to only that sensation for orgasm, then that’s what you’ll end up needing.

To keep this from happening, don’t use your vibrator on a daily basis. Try instead to use it on occasion, with your lover or without, and don’t depend on it for orgasm.

Vibrators make great teaching tools for women who don’t know how to reach orgasm and for women who want to get off because their single, or want to throw some kink into their sex lives. But when the vibrator becomes the sex life, you’ve got issues.
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