Childhood Love

[Bron26]

I am not sure what to do or think for that matter... I really need some guidance.

My 9 year old son came home today and mentioned that he had been dumped by his little girlfriend at school. I gave him a cuddle and told him not to worry about it as I am sure things will work out. He seemed appeased by this until we got home. He said he wanted to write a letter to the little girl and that he wanted some private time, so I gave him this and did a few house hold chores.

By the time I was done he had finished his letter and was extremely upset. I gave him another cuddle and asked if he was ok. He assures me that he was, but he wanted me to read his letter as he wanted some help with it. This is what it read, word for word...

Listen M.... I need you.
I know you are going out with L..., but I'm a wreck with out you. Please I hardly can think with out you. Anyway you don't match with L... I don't know what to do with the others. Please M... Or otherwise I'll always have a sad face on me.

My concern is that this is a very deeply emotional letter for a 9 year old child. I can only judge by my own development, which was VERY fast, but nothing like this. I am not sure how to deal with this, or even if it’s normal. I feel so guilty that I feel this way and that I have betrayed my son's confidence in me by seeking advice from others...

Some guidance, please.

[gagootza]

this is too serious too early in life let him know that he has his whole life ahead of him and that he just needs to take it as a lesson in life.think about your education and what you want to be when you grow up and work hard to get there.don't let a girl get in your way of being what you want to be in life.explain what the word goal means and ask him to set a goal he would like to reach and work hard to reach it.maybe that will take his mind off girls for the time being because now he has something more important to do and thats to reach his goal in life

[Bron26]

Thank you for responding BG, I appreciate the effort.

To answer your question. No there is no permanent Male figure in our home but I do have a loving boyfriend who is very good with him when he is here. Unfortunately, his father is not so ... attentive.

When he is with me I do not allow more than 30 mins of his TV, other wise its news or documentaries. He father on the other hand allows him to watch ridicules things such as Family Guy or South Park... I have tried to discourage this interaction to the point of threats, but I am ignored.

I do agree that he desperately needs a strong male influence in his life.

Thank you again for your thoughts, I will consider them very carefully

[PromisedLand]

Is there a father figure in the house?  Does he watch a lot of junk that's on TV?  I think around this age some boys MAY start having "feelings" for girls but this seems to be pretty deep..if there is no father figure does he have an uncle/grandfather somebody with whom he can play catch or get into some hobby, and (I'm making an assumption here)
keep him away from that junk on TV..

not to overemphasize it, but this young man needs some male guidance in his life (I am not putting you down...please don't think that)


BG