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Do all men look at porn?
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Do all men look at porn?

I moved in with my boyfriend a few months ago. prior to this i knew that my boyfriend watched porn..he told me that when we moved in together it would stop because he would see me more to have sex. so we moved in together and he continued to watch porn...pretty much every other day. we started only having sex 1 day a week when i pretty much forced myself on him. i let him know i had a huge problem with the fact we had no sex and he was watching porn. it turned into a big fight with him telling me we have enough sex but that basically he would stop watching porn. well we started having sex like 4 times a week after that. now, a month later he's back to watching porn 4 times a week but we still have pretty regular sex. the porn makes me very insecure that he is masturbating to other women and uses all his free time to look at this. why does he watch so much porn when i give him sex whenever he wants? it really just hurts my feelings that he needs to watch these other women.
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7 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi there

99% of men watch porn and say they do,1% say they dont but thats the 1% that lies.He looks at porn so what.Women should stop being so sensitive.As long as he's affair is with the tv you have nothing to wory about it is normal.It is not as if the porn star is going to get out of the tv and sleep with him.When you should be worried is when the porn watching and batting off starts to affect your relationship cos this is not healthy.Then you need to talk to him and he would need to start practising a bit self control.Dont hassel him about his porn other wise,unless you like fighting cos a man will never leave his porn.Women usualy ask to many questions and push to much because they are so sensitive that it leads us guys to start doing things behind your backs.While your guy is honoust with you you should be happy and keep it that way.Hey maby you should show some intrest and start watching porn with him.

Kinglv
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684030_tn?1357024374
Not all, but many men are very visually stimulated and they tend to like variety in what they see. But, it's looking; not touching... and, I certainly wouldn't equate it with cheating or anything near that. Realize that watching porn is fantasy and not a negative commentary on you. You, after all, are his reality. If you maintain that perspective it may not bother you as much. Now, if it's a major issue and you find it to be totally offensive and completely unacceptable; then, the porn may become a deal-breaker in the relationship because I don't see him giving it up... for long.
You need to decide if it's really that "big of a deal." From my personal experience with the men in my life... it's never been a big deal. But, that's just me.
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Avatar_n_tn
I DID ASK HIM TO WATCH HIM WITH ME. HE WAS WEIRDED OUT BY THAT AND DOESN'T WANT TO WATCH IT WITH ME. HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHY I WOULD WANT TO WATCH IT WITH HIM....I THINK IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD THAT HE DOESN'T WANT TO SHARE IT WITH ME.
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684030_tn?1357024374
Ahhh.... I think you may have hit on something!
This sounds kind of double standard to me. So, it's okay for him; but, not for you?
Tell him that you want to watch some of that porn... just to get a sense of what the attraction is and so you won't feel so put off by it. And, ask him if he thinks that you watching porn is wrong. If the mere suggestion makes him feel uncomfortable or
"weird," tell him that that discomfort is a fraction of the discomfort that you feel when
he watches it.
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Avatar_n_tn
when i first suggested it i did it via text and he kinda was like uh ok....than when i mentioned it last night we were fighting and he yelled at me and said next time he watches it he will call me to come home and watch it with him...being a sarcastic *******....than he said but that will never happen because I WON'T WATCH IT ANYMORE........we know that's a lie.
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Avatar_f_tn
I don't like porn because of the abuse it uses against the female participants.  Calling women b+++++es, who***** and the like makes me feel hugely uncomfortable, in the same way a black person would being made to watch a film showing them having things done to them that you know is painful and being called **g and n****r at the same time.  Ask your bf whether he'd jerk himself off to racist material if you were black and see if he can walk even a couple of steps in your shoes.  If he's unwilling to even think about this from your point of view, then his real problem is lack of empathy and also the fact he doesn't keep his promises to you makes him manipulative as well.  Think he needs counselling as to his attitude to women, the porn is just a symptom of his issues.
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Avatar_m_tn
Not all men watch porn. The first responder, above, is probably a 19 yr old boy.
Porn is a form of cheating if he watches it without your consent. If he lies to you about it, you have a serious relationship problem and it's time to either get counseling or to move on.
If he's a guy that lies to you about porn, he cannot be trusted to stop using it.
Your options are to either accept it (agree to it) or to leave the relationship.
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