I am 23 year old female. I’ve considered myself heterosexual all my life. I don’t fell in love very often, but if I do it is only with men. I had and still have only male celebrity crushes. I like to daydream about emotional, spiritual, and sexual relationship with a particular man. However, there is one thing that is haunting me, namely I am able to be sexually/genitally aroused by the pictures of both male and female genitals. I began to masturbate when I was 5 or 6. I didn’t know what I was doing but it felt good so I kept doing it. When I was 8 or 9, I used to masturbate while looking at playboy pics(kept by my older brothers), which was the only sexual thing in my environment at that time. I remember I used to fantasize about myself being one of those women posing for men; these fantasies accompanied masturbation as well. Now, as I am grown up woman, pictures of naked women do not affect me like that anymore. However, I noticed that I am still able to be aroused by the pictures of female genitals. (I find male genitals arousing also). I don’t know if it arouses me because I associate it with, for example, oral sex performed on women, or something like that. Could it be?Looking at other parts of women, such as breasts, does not arouse me at all, maybe because I don’t feel pleasure from touching my own breast. I must add that I am still virgin and haven’t had any kind of sexual contact with anybody. I usually use porn to masturbate, especially the kind of porn with oral sex performed on woman. I guess I can imagine how it feels. I don’t feel any attraction towards women, I don’t want to have sex with any woman but this strange arousal puzzles me. Am I bisexual because of it? Or maybe I conditioned myself to react in this way? Please, give me some insight!
I know those sort of feelings can confuse and make you question your sexual orientation. However, if you are not attracted women you are not bisexual. I, like you, became sexual at a very early age. I believe that because of this we were not old enough to process what we were actually attracted too. Watching or seeing a womans vagina, we recognize that as a branch of ourselves so we in turn get aroused.
I know for me, once I became sexually active a lot of that sexual attraction went away.
I agree with luckimandi. Since those photos are not of a particular woman that you know and don't remind you of any personal experience with women, you are likely identifying with the photos and projecting yourself. In other words, you imagine that those photos are of yourself, and that reinforces your sexual feelings. It's not significant and should not cause concern for you.
I agree with the others. A lot of (heterosexual) women find that the part of a porno that is arousing to them is seeing the woman's reaction, not seeing the men's "package," because they know what it would feel like to be that woman. It's not about being gay, it's about identifying with that reaction.
Thank you all for your responses. I guess you're right. I feel that the mere fact of being aroused by something is not necessarily a good indicator of one's sexual orientation. Human mind is just complicated. But many peoole equate genital arousal with attraction. The truth is, yes, I feel something down there when looking at pictures of female genitals, but I don't feel any pull to do anything sexual to that part. I don't think nothing. I tried to imagine how would it be to have sex with woman(especially oral sex), but it simply does not appeal to me. Some people have hard time udersanding it and tell me that I must be closeted bisexual (while I don't feel I am, with all repsrect to bisexual people).
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