Having sex for the first time

[Kamberjensen]

I'm 19 and not last night, the night before (Monday night) I had sex for the first time. I started my period sunday the night before so the night I had sex I was at my very heaviest flow. We had safe sex and used the condom correctly. It didn't rip and he pulled out correctly so it didn't slip off at all. He's had sex before and said he knew what he was doing but sine then I have been a mess. However, it hurt me very badly and I tried to tell him to slow down or stop but he didn't really do so. He and me only had sex for about a minute and he pulled out right when preejaculation was about to end (I believe). Ive heard from people that I should be fine but I cant help feeling absolutely sick. I am completely stressed out and hadn't planned on having sex for a long time but he talked me into it. Getting pregnant is my worst fear at this age and since this situation I havent been able to think straight or sleep and I even had an anxiety attack yesterday. I don't know what to do to feel okay that I'm safe and that I didn't get pregnant. I also have questions as to why I was bleeding afterwards and my vagina feels stretched and pained when I pee. The pain and bleeding is much much better today but still present. I'm curious as to when this will stop or should stop. Please please help me, I don't know what to do. I've been on birth control for a couple months but hadn't been taking it in a few days because I was having my "period week" and we had sex during that time.

[clement4now]

Hi,

I'm sorry this has caused you so much stress :(
The stress and anxiety you are experiencing isn't uncommon; many women go through the same feelings you are having, after their first time. Try not to worry yourself too much; it will only cause you to be more stressed out and panicky.  It's unlikely that you have become pregnant on the heaviest day of your period (although it's not impossible), but because you also used a condom during sex I highly doubt that you are pregnant.  The best way to be absolutely certain about being pregnant or not, is to take a pregnancy test...  Maybe your stress is also being contributed by some regret about having sex earlier than you had planned or expected?  It's okay to feel some disappointment, but try not to beat yourself up because of it.  Keep in mind that life doesn't always go as planned, but at least now you know what to expect from your next experience and how to be better prepared for it...

In regard to the bleeding and pain right after sex for the first time; it's normal for some women to have light bleeding or spotting from 3 to 5 days after losing their virginity. If the bleeding and pain last longer than 5 days, you should make an appointment with your doctor for an exam. You may feel vaginal discomfort or tenderness for a few days afterward also.  For the pain you can use an over the counter pain med. like Advil or Tylenol.  Since you were on your period, during your first time, you probably won't notice the bleeding/spotting as much.  If any pain persists for more than a week, go get checked out by your gynecologist.

Hang in There, You'll be Okay :)