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Help my married life depends on it.
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Help my married life depends on it.

Hi,
    I am recently married. My wife and I both are engineers. I have interest in sex but my wife says she don't have any intrest. When I uses to start foreplay with her she allways starts with no no which makes me feel bad. I have told evry thing about sex to her, still she is not understanding it. which is creating quarrel between us. It's allmost 25 days past we still don't have intercose. I tried forcefully twice and she kept quiet at that time but I was not sucessful. Should I try forcefully so that once the intercorse will happen then automatically she may get interest in sex? Please help me I am loosing my interest in life.
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Avatar_f_tn
even though you're married if you force her to have sex....you are raping her. and that is illegal. if she wanted to she could report you to the police and you could be thrown in jail. DO NOT FORCE HER TO HAVE SEX. not only is it illegal she'll start to hate you and REALLY not want to have sex with you. i know if my husband forced me to have sex i would be filing for divorce the next day.

if you're so miserable because she won't have sex than divorce her. ask her seek professional help. i.e. a therapist. there could be an underlying problem on why she doesn't want to have sex. perhaps she was sexually abused as a child and is uncomfortable with it. you forcing her will only make it worse.
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Avatar_m_tn
Why does she not want sex?  Have you talked to her?  Did you have sex before the marriage?
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684030_tn?1357024374
When it comes to sex, some people just aren't as interested as others.
Like SeriousSam said, it's the kind of thing that needs to be discussed... preferably, prior to marriage.
As for using "force," heatherlynn22 is quite correct in that "forcing" would constitute rape, regardless of marital status. Also, I would think that a caring and loving person would want their partner to give of themselves willingly; not, forcibly!  
Anyway, I think that you both could benefit from marriage counseling or sex therapy to adequately address this issue.
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Avatar_f_tn
Married couples with mismatched libidos is such a huge problem. The rate of sexless marriages are as high as 30% so I defenitely believe that this something that should be discussed before marriage. Sex shouldn't be the end all be all in a relationship but being denied a need (be it sexually, emotionally, physically) will cause tension, resentment and would it all be worth that. Try to fix this problem now before it becomes engrained in your marriage. Therapy with a sex therapist, date nights, maybe a vacation away..Did something happen that caused her to create distance?
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Avatar_m_tn
If you force her, then it is no wonder she does not enjoy sex wit you. You are a monster and should be locked up.
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