High-heels fetish

[arfa]

Hi,
Im a 34 year old man with this kind of fetish. Im married with a 3 year old; this fetish does not go away.
I find ways to watch videos online and masturbate after my wife and kid are asleep.

What is worrying is I also solicit massage parlors and professional-doms, sometimes, to quench this fetish spending quite a bit of money.
I put myself at unnecessary anxiety when I got to a masseuse for fetish and she touches my rectum or something and then I have the fear of HIV. (I couldnt care less for vaginal or anal sex, so Im relatively safe)

I want to know if there are techniques to control/cure my high-heels fetish addiction. (Yes, I use the word cure because I think it is a serious problem!)

Thank you for your time!

[arfa]

Thank you for all your replies. I certainly need to change. I have 'mentioned' it to my wife but maybe I need to be more clear. I certainly agree with you all! Thanks again.

Reg. massage parlors, I dont care about being touched but thats my outlet to high heels fetish. Ask the masseuse to wear high heels, maybe touch/kiss heels and since Im paying anyway, get a massage anyway. I couldnt care less for massage, touching or vaginal/anal/oral sex (I do care about vaginal-sex but with my wife ONLY)

I know Im not ideal or perfect but I want to get better- with communicating with my wife as well as my habits and priorities.

Im here so I can write this and writing about it itself and have people comment about it a kind of therapy.
Also, every time I have a cough I scare to death because of fear of HIV though the doctor says none of my incidents so far can every contract an HIV infection.

I will put an end to this, talk to  my wife about it and write to you again in 1 year after being sober from massage-parlors.

Thanks again!

[treazzure007]

i guess katarina777 is right.  i don't know anything about addictions as i don't have any.  so i wouldn't know what it feels like or what he's suffering through.
but i do still stick w/ my thinking that if he shared this with this WIFE, b/c it's not like he has to have chains and handcuffs or children or animals, she would probably be helpful/obliged.  heels are easy.  i doubt any amount of therapy will ever rid him of his fascination w/ heels but maybe having them at home on his wife is a start

then, like kittycat7 said, if he continues to keep this from his mate, it would be hurtful and damaging and his wife would probably think as im beginning to, that he's just WILLFULLY SEEKING his thrill and pleasure elsewhere

[katarina777]

The problem is that he thinks it's a problem and which makes it a problem, so it is.

No, his wife does not know about it; he told us that.

He is spending money that he does not want to spend it on.

It's a problem, not cheating. You cannot decide that for him.

[arfa]

Thank you for replying my query.

You are right that I need to communicate and communicate more with my wife. She knows but she doesnt know the extent and is not really interested too much in high heels.
Now regarding why I want to "cure", gawking at everyone's high heels and masturbating 5 times a day and calling massage parlors etc. once in 2 months is addiction, something like sex-addiction, right? And addiction need a cure?

I dont know, maybe deep breathing, meditation, exercising, eating certain types of food, avoiding certain types of food can reduce fetish or atleast reduce my sexual libido. (maybe reducing sexual-libido is not the right solution, maybe it is)

[treazzure007]

so, what's the problem???  do you not enjoy your wife in high heels?  i wouldn't mind my husband having this type of fetish if he had to have one this would be it.  more shoes for meeeeeee!

[twoskidoos2]

there is nothing wrong with having a fetish ........ Everyone has them.  My question  - Is your wife aware of this fetish?  AND  Why do you have to go elsewhere. That is cheating.  

Do you know what hers is?  

I don't think you have to be cured - I think you have to know how to make it be part of your relationship.  Healthy relationships between husbands and wives can include a fetish. (actually in my opinion it should)