I can't ejaculate during intercourse

[livingunderthesky]

When I'm with a woman, even one I love, I find I can't ejaculate during intercourse. It's also very difficult indeed for me to ejaculate when she masturbates me or pleasures me orally I know this condition is called delayed ejaculation, and I've searched for information on the Internet for "delayed ejaculation treatment"; what I'd now like to know is if anyone has a better way of dealing with it than sensate focus, which seems to be the method recommended in most of the treatment programs available.

Also, if sensate focus is the best way to deal with delayed ejaculation, does it actually work?
Joe

[Dragohad]

I'm a guy who feels ashamed of even having sex in the first place, because for the duration of my life that revolves around my sex life, I have never been able to *** during sex. I dont masterbate alot because of what i read on DE and still havent been able to. it tears me up inside and makes me feel less than a man, like soething is very wrong with me. I've tried sensate focus and counseling, but nothings worked. Is it possible I'm just not meant to *** or orgasm in sex? when i masterbate, i can make myself ***. so why not during sex?

[ZSaul]

So for the last IDK 5+ years I hadn't been able to during sex but last night I did!!! I DID it and it was an amazing feeling. During those years my exs had questioned themselves as did I. I can tell you that I've been back and forth on these sites looking for possible solutions. I've read everything about masturbating too much to DE(Delayed ejaculation) and while those gave me some answers the solution was never clear. I am writing to say that aside from having the right partner a trick, or discovery that we used last night was having her ride me on the floor. I realized many things last night, not just anything physical but mental too. When cumming for the first time during sex I answered all those questions that I had for years.
To all my guys out there who have the same problem, Try doing it on the floor or change up where you're doing it. It might make all the difference in the world.

[moongoddess2012]

I can help you here because I'm a woman whose partner wasn't able to ejaculate during sex for many years, and who finally cured it by using a combination of counselling and sensate focus. Mind you, we did have to do quite a bit of research, both in terms of speaking to therapists and on the Internet before we found a cure. I'd recommend you start by searching for "delayed ejaculation treatment" on the net to establish a good background of information before you do anything else.
As I understand it, sensate focus is a way of increasing the arousal in the body, so that a man comes nearer to the point of ejaculatory inevitability, thereby making it easier for him to ejaculate than it otherwise would be.
But this is only half the battle to being able to ejaculate successfully during sex or orgasm during masturbation by the partner: the other half of it is about intimacy between the two partners during sex.
When all's said and done, the best sex comes when a couple are really enjoying each other's physicality and feel connected at the heart as well. Without without this connection, without intimacy, arousal may just not be high enough for sex to be satisfactory. And for a man with delayed ejaculation, who presumably has a higher than average sensitivity threshold, everything that can work in his favour is necessary to ensure he can ejaculate easily.
In short, I recommend sensate focus unreservedly for its capacity to increase intimacy and increase arousal. In addition, it can be helpful, as it was in our case, for a man to seek counselling just to ensure that his attitude to sex is not inhibited by guilt or shame, which seems to be the most common reason for a man having trouble reaching high level of arousal during intercourse and ejaculating during sex.
"Moongoddess"