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I have only orgasmed one time and I am 31.
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I have only orgasmed one time and I am 31.

I am a 31 year old female.  I was sexually molested when I was 11 years old by my step-father.  I never told anyone til after I had my son.  When I told my mother, she left him for 2 weeks and went back to him.  I have major issues with this.  I did attend counseling for 3 years but then they started changing my counselor and I got fed up and stopped going.  I have only had one orgasm.  My partner has issues with this.  I am completely comfortable with him and love him very much.  He knows what happened in the past.  I don't know what my issues with this but I want to find a way to orgasm (not only for me but for him as well).  I don't masturbate either.  I have only had less than a handful of partners.  I just want some kind of help so I can get this accomplished!  Thank you
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Avatar_f_tn
I can understand where you are coming from my fiance was the same way when we first started making love. It may sound akward or maybe tmi, but try having him do oral, and if you feel like you shouldn't be the only one receiving you can do 69 to both benefit. And on the non sexual side make sure to spend plenty of time with romantic foreplay making sure you both know how much it means to you that it's more than sex and getting more comfortable. I hope this helps
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Avatar_f_tn
I will take any advice I can get.  I do get really wet but never orgasm.  It makes my partner feel like he aint doing something right or that I don't want him but that's not the case.  I feel like I need to learn to let loose but I dont know how.  I like to have sex but haven't really had a lot of different kinds of sex (meaning mostly missionary position).  I want to explore and have fun but I also need to orgasm for us.  I don't want my guy feeling like I don't want him or that he is doing something wrong.  I will try what you reccommended!  :)  Thanks so much
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790669_tn?1407103224
Hi there,

So sorry you're going through this.  I can speak from experience as I was molested by a family member from the age of 12-17.  Then I met an AMAZING man who changed my life forever.  I was soo self conscious when we first started becoming intimate.  I let being molested make me feel nasty, trashy, ugly and unwanted.  He let me know I was beautiful and worth loving.  Anyways, during my "beginner" time as he is and has always been my only one..  I did not have an orgasm for about the first year, year and a half of our relationship.  I honestly didn't know how.  Then I would read everyone saying to see what makes ME feel good.  SO I took to masturbation.  I was very shelterd (sp) growing up so I read ALOT and it was magazines, books..interent..I wanted to learn and not for the sole puprose of being trashy..but how was I to know what made me feel good IF I didn't know how or what to try.  SO I say..bluntly.. Play with yourself.   You have hands, fingers..caress yourself..see where and what makes YOU feel good.  Then teach him. :)  Men like to know as well and they don't know unless we tell them.  It's not they are doing anything wrong with trying their ways, but every woman is different.  I have YET to have an orgasm just by having sex alone, no matter what position.  It takes clitoral stimulation for me and it always works, no problem :)  

Also, once you figure out what makes YOU feel good and orgasm, you let him in on what and where to do things..then the only thing left after that is AMAZING SEX! :)   Best of luck hun!!  
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi Cash, Sorry about what happend to you, but it may not be the reason, remember some women go throught there whole lives and never ogasm, and thats a fact of life, but there is help for you, just google dodson and ross, this is were Dr Betty Dodson comes in, she takes life one orgasm at a time, she rund life class's on how to masturbate and how to orgasm, now if you cant get to her you can down load vids for a small price for either a day, week or month, or there site you find loads of info on all subjects of sex, and there is some great art work from betty.
Good Luck
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