Aa
I have to beg for sex.
My husband and I have been together for almost a year now. We have been married for almost 7 months now and right before we tied the knot and moved in together, sex slowed down majorly. Mind you, I'm 18 and he is only 20.
I'm getting very tired of begging and I always feel like there is something wrong with me . I know that men can lose sexual drive when under stress, but JESUS, it doesn't seem to matter whether we have a good day or not. There has been countless times where I try to be coy about asking/hinting/attempting and it never seems to work. We used to have sex atleast once a day, sometimes even twice. Now, we get into huge arguements and I cry. I feel like such a child when I get so upset, but it's the one thing that him and I share and it isn't JUST sex! Without sounding naive I know that he isn't cheating on me. I don't know what to do, should I just wait it out? Should I just wait for him to come on to me, because when I do...it never seems like he wants to, more like he just wants to shut me up! Gosh, I'm so sick of this...please help.
I'm getting very tired of begging and I always feel like there is something wrong with me . I know that men can lose sexual drive when under stress, but JESUS, it doesn't seem to matter whether we have a good day or not. There has been countless times where I try to be coy about asking/hinting/attempting and it never seems to work. We used to have sex atleast once a day, sometimes even twice. Now, we get into huge arguements and I cry. I feel like such a child when I get so upset, but it's the one thing that him and I share and it isn't JUST sex! Without sounding naive I know that he isn't cheating on me. I don't know what to do, should I just wait it out? Should I just wait for him to come on to me, because when I do...it never seems like he wants to, more like he just wants to shut me up! Gosh, I'm so sick of this...please help.
This is what I think is going on. Your husband is using drugs, most likely narcotics, like painkillers. Everything fits. It makes perfect sense as well.
Wow, Odlywed, that hasn't happened to me yet. I hope it doesn't (no offense), not like my situation is the best, but goodluck!
As far as the kid thing goes...when we first got together I was not on bc and he didn't want to use condoms (yes, we both were tested before making the choice of not using condoms). I tried bc, but I had horrible side effects. I've actually been diagnosed with Endometriosis, so the chances are slim, and...I'm not taking bc because I feel it has "unhealthy" effects on me. I don't think the kid deal is the problem.
Although, I do believe it is stress. We had a talk and I guess he is starting to see from my point of view. I haven't pushed since the talk and we had the MOST AMAZING SEX tonight lol. He started it...lol. Loved it. AMAZING! lol
Haha, not that anyone cares lol.
Anyways, as far as me getting a job, it is almost impossible. Not trying to sound lazy or as if I don't want to, because honestly I feel like **** that I am not helping. It makes me feel like a parasite, but he doesn't push for me to find a job because of our situation. There are not bus lines for miles away, trains...about 10 miles away. The only place we have near us is a 7 eleven...which I have applied at. We're currently working on the car deal, I may be getting my dream redneck truck soon. =]
Then, I can get a good job.
Thank you all for your advice and support.
As far as the kid thing goes...when we first got together I was not on bc and he didn't want to use condoms (yes, we both were tested before making the choice of not using condoms). I tried bc, but I had horrible side effects. I've actually been diagnosed with Endometriosis, so the chances are slim, and...I'm not taking bc because I feel it has "unhealthy" effects on me. I don't think the kid deal is the problem.
Although, I do believe it is stress. We had a talk and I guess he is starting to see from my point of view. I haven't pushed since the talk and we had the MOST AMAZING SEX tonight lol. He started it...lol. Loved it. AMAZING! lol
Haha, not that anyone cares lol.
Anyways, as far as me getting a job, it is almost impossible. Not trying to sound lazy or as if I don't want to, because honestly I feel like **** that I am not helping. It makes me feel like a parasite, but he doesn't push for me to find a job because of our situation. There are not bus lines for miles away, trains...about 10 miles away. The only place we have near us is a 7 eleven...which I have applied at. We're currently working on the car deal, I may be getting my dream redneck truck soon. =]
Then, I can get a good job.
Thank you all for your advice and support.
May be your husband doesnt want to have child- he isn' ready yet. . Doing sex making it happen so he loose interest.
Financial troubles take an enormous toll on a man. If you want to help, get a job. Take the bus, take a train, get a ride with a neighbor, but pitch in. It is hard to want to be romantic when you can't afford something.
Start putting some money in the bank, and it'll make a difference in your sex life. Even if it isn't much.
Start putting some money in the bank, and it'll make a difference in your sex life. Even if it isn't much.
I'll give you one suggestion -- any time he is willing, do it, whether you feel like it or not. My wife just told me she thinks our sex life *****, but if I don't do it when or how she likes it, she's not into it -- then wonders why I sometimes lack interest.
She also is MUCH more likely to tell me things she doesn't like outside of bed (why didn't you do this? Why did you do that?) And now you want me to screw you? Well no thanks.
I get home about 8:00 at night, and after fixing myself dinner, it is about 9:00 and I want to watch TV or check my email, or look for jobs. At 10:00 I'd like to go to bed -- together -- but she's texting her mom or her friends, so I just keep doing what I'm doing. Then she gets in bed and falls asleep. Hey, I've been waiting!
Now she has a job and when we do go to bed, either:
It is too late, and one or both of us are tired.
We do something else first -- we're religious and try to read a chapter of scripture and have a prayer each night -- so that by the time all that is done I'm tired, or she is, or one of us has to get up in the morning.
Now, she's "not attracted to me." You know what makes you attracted to someone? ROMANCE THEM. Take some initiative.
Anyway, JT, if he wants it, give it to him -- every time. It'll create a "craving cycle" in him, and he'll start to crave it more and more.
Good luck!
She also is MUCH more likely to tell me things she doesn't like outside of bed (why didn't you do this? Why did you do that?) And now you want me to screw you? Well no thanks.
I get home about 8:00 at night, and after fixing myself dinner, it is about 9:00 and I want to watch TV or check my email, or look for jobs. At 10:00 I'd like to go to bed -- together -- but she's texting her mom or her friends, so I just keep doing what I'm doing. Then she gets in bed and falls asleep. Hey, I've been waiting!
Now she has a job and when we do go to bed, either:
It is too late, and one or both of us are tired.
We do something else first -- we're religious and try to read a chapter of scripture and have a prayer each night -- so that by the time all that is done I'm tired, or she is, or one of us has to get up in the morning.
Now, she's "not attracted to me." You know what makes you attracted to someone? ROMANCE THEM. Take some initiative.
Anyway, JT, if he wants it, give it to him -- every time. It'll create a "craving cycle" in him, and he'll start to crave it more and more.
Good luck!
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