I have trouble having an orgasm

[tcfdbutterfly]

Hi, I have trouble having an orgasm with my partner, we have tried everything. I can have it by myself thru masturbation, but cannot seem to have it thru intercourse. I don't know what I am doing wrong. Can you help

[Jameasin]

I am the SAME problem and I'm 21. I can have an orgasm every time I mastrubate, but very very VERY rarely have an orgasm during intercourse and when I do, it's only from one position.

Alot of it does come from the comfort you have during intercourse. It could be that you're either shy or maybe slightly insecure of your naked body. If that's the case, maybe before sex you could have him tell you every little things he loves about you in the buff. This will help you relax and feel more as ease and a sex goddess ;). I'm only saying this from my own personal experience. I have always been insecure of my body in the buff and having a man look at me, seeing my imperfections. But it wasn't until about a year ago when I met a guy who actually told me all the things he love about my body (even what he liked about my...vagina) and from that, I gained a whole new confidence in the bedroom and finally had an orgasm with him.

ALSO, I've noticed that I can only ahve an orgasm in one position. After talking with a good friend of mine, I realized she was the same and could have one in the same position...What you do is, lay flat on your stomach with your legs inbetween his while he is behind you (lying or holding himself up with his arms) While doing this, stimulate your clitoris with your fingers/hand by rubbing it (wet fingers help with the friction) In doing this you're having both of your G-spots getting attention meaning twice the chance of having an orgasm...

And finally, women don't really start having orgasms until they reach their 20s, so dont worry, you've got time!

[tcfdbutterfly]

Thanks for the advice, i tried to relax but it seemed like everytime i did, my brain would just throw something that had happened that day into my thoughts and then i would stress out again. Do you know anything that might help me with relaxing so that doesn't happen?

[klaracd]

you are not doing anything wrong-

i think this is your first mistake that you believe YOU are doing something wrong-  you will have made yourself uptight- and as you are here asking- already paranoid that there is something wrong-  NOT TRUE-

when you mastubate- are you alone?  if yes- then I guess you are very relaxed and comfortable and can drift into your own little world- so much so that you can reach climax.

I am not a professional sex therapist- so please take my advice with a pinch of salt-

it is neither yours- nor your partners fault-  as soon as you can take that in-  hopefully you can take your time, relax, enoj yourself,  if at any point you feel you are not relaxed, then pause for a moment,  caress each other, slowley untill relaxed,  

[SixStringer]

For one thing, it may not be what you are doing wrong so much as finding out what your body needs.  You might need more foreplay to get up to a certain level of lubricated excitement, for instance, along with some verbal compliments from your partner.  Or maybe you need him to move from side to side or in a circle, instead of just in and out.  Or maybe you would get further along with oral stimulation on your clitoris.  Plus, do not overlook the pschological aspects involving stress, any anxiety, ability to clear your mind, and so on.

[tcfdbutterfly]

Female, 20, single but engaged, good health. Does that help, sorry i didn't have time to update my profile.

[SixStringer]

You don't give many details here.  What is your gender? age? marital status? general health?