i am 15 years old, when i was 8 i knew a girl and she was going out with a boy at the time and she descided she liked me better so we went out for a while since then he has been bullying me and when i started secondary school he has made a rumour that i was gay and i was timid boy at the time and i was being apprached by boys in my year this boy has made mates whith calling me gay and so on. since then it has gottwn worse and the bullying hasent stooped i am now in year 10 going on year 11. these same boys and lower years are saying crude and dirty things to me it has even gone as far as grabbing me in my man hood. also when i go out i normally get comments from groups of boys about being gay. this really makes me wonder and for about 2 years i have been on gay porn sites and i do get hard over them and mastabate. but i also fancy girls sometimes to but never mastabate over them but when i see boys in the changing room in their pants i do have gay sexual thoughts. i am now totally confused what sexuality i am. Is my bullying situation changed my sexuality. ???????????????????? I NEED HELP because i feel discusted and dirty when i talk about it. pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee help
There's no need to feel frightened. At your age, your feelings and who you are or are not attracted to in a sexual way are not "cast in stone" anyway.
When you say you can fancy girls, in what way? Sometimes boys your age are somewhat afraid of engaging in any sort of intimacy with girls (I am not talking about sex here, but even light flirting / holding hands / etc.). Others aren't, and this does not mean that there is a "normal" way to be.
Just experiment - ask a girl you fancy out for a movie or something, and see how things go - at worst, you may gain a best friend!
And if your attraction for other boys starts to confirm itself over time, then there is nothing to be worried about - you could be gay, or bi, and will need a little extra courage to face some people's opinion about it. But really, as you grow up, you'd realise this this nothing to beat yourself about.
In my opinion, the bullying did not do anything to define your sexuality, but it probably makes things more confusing to know and accept who you are.
And why label yourself within a final and definitive category? A good friend of mine went through a lot of trouble to get his family accept that he could be gay, only to fall completely in love (and eventually marry) with a very nice girl! (and he had to do the "coming out" speech to his family the other way around!).
Keep your options open - you never know who is going to be the right one, and in the meantime, experiment carefully - and whatever you do. when it involves another person, male or female, be safe, and be honest with him / her!
I do not believe in a world where there are only two kinds of sexual attraction - it is more like a continuous balance of stronger or weaker attractions, from the 100% straight to the 100% gay, and eventually it all boils down to the individual you'll fall in love with. Souls don't have a gender!
Just accept yourself, and observe your attractions, on a day to day basis. This is a fantastic journey of self-discovery, as long as you do not limit yourself to "black / white" duality.
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