I'm at my wits end... Do you think you know?

[confusedcrazy]

I have been masterbating since I was 4 or 5 years old... Those are some of my earliest memories of hiding what I was doing. I am 19 now. I can masterbate and climax atleast 20 times a day if I do not control myself... I've limited myself to 7 or 8 times a day, or atleast try to... I have been raised religiously, and yes my thoughts do agree with what I am doing is wrong. And we can debate over whether or not it is health wise or whatever, but thats not the issue at hand at the moment. I do not need pornography or to fantisize. I normally do it in the mornings, before bed, showers, or anywhere I choose really. I know some suggestions as to stopping.. Like keep your hands busy, try not to think about it, read a book, distract yourself, ect.... The problem is... It does distrack me... but only for a time being. Then my body CRAVES it... If I allow several days to pass, even a month I become distant, emotional, horny (of course lol), mean, moody, cranky, STRESSED OUT, and easily irritated. But on the other hand, I feel its wrong, so I stress myself out in that aspect too...

A few more things about myself... I'm a habitual liar, which I'm sure has stemmed from my hiding my mb problem. I started looking at pornography when I was 10years old. I am female. I have no recollection of ever being sexually abused as a child. I come from a very good home, my mother and father have been happily married for 45years. I am a late child. My sister and I are 22years apart, my eldest brother and I are 20 years apart and my other brother and I are 8years apart... I have good relationships with all of them... I've had my ups and downs with my parents (what teenager or young adult doesnt)... I'm well educated and well liked. I have VERY low self esteem. I have a  indescribable need to have every male like me, or love me. I dont ever hold grudges, I am overly trusting. I have a difficult time sleeping at night, and sleep alot of my days away. I am overweight, and that has always been a hard issue with me.

Growing up I was a bully, and a mean child, I was rude and hurtful... I look back on my past and hate myself for it, and honestly dont know why I was like that.... My concious is seared almost to the point of nonexistence, I only feel regret, remorse, and acknowledgement of wrong doings after the fact. I don't recall a time in my life where the little voice has popped in my head and said NO! DONT DO THAT! ITS WRONG!= BEFORE doing something I shouldnt.

I want an answer... I dont want to be this way anymore :(

[Dalubaba]

A hydro therapy to calm sexual urge;
Sit in a tub in such a way that the perineum is immersed in water. For this you might have to use a small stand or something. Other related parts will also be immersed. Sit in this manner for 15 minutes a day. You may pat perineum with wet cloth. This procedure will calm your sexual urge and will give you confidence and self esteem. You may take deep and slow breathing. This procedure is recommenced by naturopath.

[slinkyhead]

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MASTERBATION!!!

but.....an addiction is an addiction. there are support groups out there and you just have to want to stop. Go to a counselor and talk this out with a professional...i am sure you can find the help you need. GOD bless :)

[Michael_Andrew]

oo..Doc....you made all the sence....Im ill but by my own means I belive...but I keep touching my self and have since 11 ...but new beginings I hope..right.. hope my body makes it.

[confusedcrazy]

Thanks you very very much Judy.... I deeply appreciate all your advice... It makes so much sense :)

[Judy246]

You have take the first step to change your life and that is by acknowledging that you don't want to be this way and no matter what has happened in our past, the past is the past. It is behind you, but if you continue living in the past, you can't move towards the future. There is so much life out there just waiting for you to open you heart and mind the right way towards others and simply live the way it's meant to be lived.

Also, yes, you do have a concience and it's speaking to you, but it's time to start by forgiving yourself for all the harm you have brought the people in your life or which came your way. From this moment on, forgive yourself and if you ever run into the people that you have hurt, have the courage to apologize for any hurt, harm or injusted to them and move on. Do not dwell on the past. You start by acknowledging you behavior, forgiving yourself, forgiving other's who have harmed you. Surround your self with good people, family and positive enviroments that will help you grow and flourish. Stay away from the negative people and environments.

What do you enjoy in life? Taking classes of topic that interest you. Start setting goal on your weight and how to accomplish small steps for weight. Losing weight is difficult, but take on the challenge and set those goals. Work on your self confidence and self esteem. You do not need any mans approval to make you feel good about yourself. If you take the steps to help yourself, life has a way of rewarding you and taking over in a positive manner, but you must take the first steps to get out of this rut and move forward with your life. Also, get a make over, it always make a woman feel great to pamper herself, so let's start by taking care of you, forgiving yourself, change your bad ways and behavior and become a new you. Only you can help yourself, by putting yourself first and people will just gravitate to you. Good Luck, Judy