For the record, I do not plan to have sex anytime soon, I am very young. This is just out of curioiusity. So it just seems like sex is weird, like the first time and you don't know what you're doing. How does one proceed into sexual intercourse? Haha. Isn't it also kinda weird looking at your partners face while they are being... Pleasured? Are you supposed to scream and moan? It just seems awkward screaming. I'm a very timid person so I can't really see myself in a sexual situation. Guess I'm just kinda nervous for my first time, so many variables haha
Oh and also, when you and your partner "roleplay" or one (usually the woman) person puts on kind of a "sexy show", isnt it awkward? Whet if you slip up? What if your partner just starts laughing at your feeble attempt at something sexy? Haha
To answer your questions in reverse order, the sexy-show thing can be very dumb unless the two of you are very unselfconscious, and that comes from the feedback the partner gives. I once tried a particular move that I had seen on a Saturday Night Live bit spoofing the Chippendales, thinking my husband would find it attractive. (It looked great when Patrick Swayze did it, he tossed off his shirt and passed it quickly along the inside of his thigh -zip, zip- before throwing it away.) Well, my version of it made my husband roar with laughter, thinking it did not look sexy at all. But even so, as you can tell, the point is that I can look back at that with smiles, and as a funny moment, because he was there with me and he is on my side. So I think the answer to your question is that if your relationship with the other person is warm and good, and you are glad he is there with you and know he is on your side, your moves will not need to be choreographed and stereotypical. They'll be natural and comfortable for your relationship. Don't have sex with someone for whom you feel you have to do uncomfortable things and put on a show. Good sex is not about mechanics, it's about heart.
Hi Hungry, You've been whacting to many films on tv or your computer, shouting, moaning, or making load noises, yes there are some woman who are vocal, but its not an essential part of love making/sex, and as for a sexy show just wait tell you get a little older, and see what you man likes.
Look google tis dobson and ross, this site is packed with all the info you need for a good sex life, lots to read and look at, some very good art work on there, and its run by Dr betty dobson.
One of the appealing things about sex is the vulnerability & awkwardness. It is a situation where you can be physically vulnerable with another person and let yourself go. It is the discomfort, nervousness, awkwardness, etc that makes it exciting and more pleasurable. This is why when couples say…”keep it exciting” what they are talking about is trying new things (positions, toys, environments, etc) that take them a little out of their comfort zone and bring back some of the vulnerable/ awkward feelings.
Sex is a unique circumstance where you want to be vulnerable & share in each others vulnerability and making each other feel comfortable and safe.
The greatest intimate encounters is where both people can let go and be ‘victim’ to the pleasure.
Different sexual encounter & partners evoke different levels of how much you let go.. but the desire is to feel the thrill of embracing being exposed, nervous, anxious, etc.
Whether it be a new partner that brings out the thrill, or trying something new with your spouse… Embracing vulnerability is a large part of sexual Intimacy & pleasure.
Sexual noises are all part of letting go… I think it is safe to say that the moaning is not a direct reaction to pleasure….
It is brought on by choice and usually over exaggerated. However, I would not say that it is dramatic or fake. I look at it like part of letting go and a way to communicate/ give cues or direction as to what feels good. It also motivates the partner and contributes to arousing the other person. It also is like how tennis players grunt as they breathe…
Generally speaking… man’s role is to make women fell sexy and desired.
Women’s role is to build up and protect men’s confidence and ego.
During sex a man feels the most like a man and a women feels the most like a women…
The noises (moans, etc.) also play into this… her moans make him feel like more of a man, and her more like a women.
Boring sex (or bad sex) is when there is no tension or letting go. When vulnerability cannot be embraced- then sex is awkward in a way that is not arousing… Or when one person lets go but the other person does not receive it well. This is where I define the 'someone special'… Not necessarily someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, or someone you even 'love' or have known for a long time…. Simply a special someone that you trust and can 'let go' with… someone who respects you and makes you comfortable.
Not to worry… your feelings are normal. When the time comes instincts will kick in. ;)
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