I've got a sexual problem

I'm a 27 year old male and have never had a girlfriend.

Im better looking that most men my age but i feel theres somethign wrong with me. Ever since i was sexually active i have been unable to orgasm without thinking of getting abused, ive had lots of one night stands and the same things occurs then, its got to the point now where i avoid women, even though i do have a high sex drive, at the moment the only way i can reach orgasm is to look at porn of dominatrix type women abusing men, it disgusts me to be honest, but i dont know what to do, ive got close to 2 girls in my life and both of them had been raped previously, does this mean anything and why are these girls seemingly attracted to me?

I've seen therapists in the past and as far as I know i wasnt sexually abused as a child so i just wondered if anyone could help me?

thanks

[cat640]

I will try to help you... or at least maybe shed a little light. It sounds to me maybe you weren't sexually abused, but perhaps you grew up without a father, or your father was a very submissive man. Or possibly you had a father or mother who was abusive (verbally/mentally). Have you ever had thoughts of abusing women yourself? Or ever had any thoughts of rape? (you can answer those to yourself, if yes, then you need to get help before you act on your thoughts)

It seems to me that you have a need to be the wounded puppy, or that you need someone who needs you. If you were attracted to girls who had been sexually abused, you are not so odd. Lots of girls actually want a guy who 'needs' them, who they can play a mothering role to, and who they can comfort.  It's probably less common for guys to feel that way, but not unheard of. Those girls who are attracted to you and have been raped may be able to read your body language and see that you have a wall up as well. There may be something you say that just sparks an interest because they feel they can relate to you or because they feel safe with you. Its ok for you to get close to girls who have experienced sexual abuse, just as long as you don't want to take advantage of their vulnerability.