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Lusting

What is the best way to stop sexual lusting constantly? HELP!
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Avatar universal
Thank you I will know for sure in about 30-40 days how it all ends. There is no going back, I can't. This is the point of no return for me.

Thanks again.
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Avatar universal
Hi Chucky, Just remember you have come here, now I know we are not talking face to face, but you have got this far, its just one more step you need to take.
Good Luck
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Nohard, thanks your advice is well taken.

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Avatar universal
Hi Chucky forget square one, never look back always try and look forwards, the people you need to see are trained to here and help you over your problems, see if you can find a pyschaitrist in your field, but at first just go and talk, nothing else so you can fill comfortable with him/her, yes it could be a her, but dont worry, who knows you may want lust, but please try it for you own sain sake, time to take a big breath and go forwards.
Good Luck
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Avatar universal
Arlene, there is not a thing my wife does not know about me. I have never lied to her in 30 years, She knows it all. Having said that she has become numb to it and just ignores it to the best of her ability. She just doesn't know what to make of it all...what to do or how to handle the situation.

I know why I am in this situation. and I have to find a way out permanently once and for all. I can't take it any more. I'm done,
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Avatar universal
Nohard you are correct..I agree I need some serious counseling I've known this all my life..but I'm too ashamed to get help.too embarrassed. So I back to square one....
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4456827 tn?1363378247
I would suggest telling your wife about whatever fantasy it is that you have. After 30 years nothing should surprise her. Im guessing when you masturbate you think about your ideal sex life.
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Avatar universal
Hi Chucky, First have you ever had treatment for your problem with say a counsellor or seen a psychiatrist, because I'm thinking some deep theropy, may help you over your problem, your problem is you look at a women and want to make love to her? yes, well we all do that, as we go through life, but then we forget it, till the next one come along, so your problem is you go home with it, you sleep with it, you eat with it, and when you make love to your wife, inside you head its that image you see and your making love with her, now is that a fair picture? yes, and this is torturing you, you just need to be like the rest of us and throw away those images, and just get on with life with your know doubt loving wife.
You must also remember we all have these dark corners in our brains, were we tuck things away, that are sometimes best left there, but somehow you are living with yours? yes.
Thats why I think you need some help in locking away your problems.

OK the Bible bit, it seems if you google they tend to go to christain things, so christains must lust more than normal people, so must be all the Bible reading that does it.
Look tell me if I'm on the right trail.
Good Luck
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Avatar universal
Arlene, there are things lacking in my relationship with my wife you are correct about that but to be honest I don't think that my relationship with her if it was better or perfect would cure me of this addiction. It is just impossible to cure it by changing a partner, a relationship or anything. Is just is and no getting away from it. In other words I'm doomed...is sad very sad because it is been something I can't talk about it. In fact this is my very first time I have opened up about it to anyone anywhere...Arlene I need help and fast because I have reached the end of my rope with this. I can't live like this any more is killing me.
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Avatar universal
Nohard,,,,
you saidL
:but it seems you need to be a christian, perhaps there big on lusting after reading the bible all day. :  I don't understand....
is this giving you any problem when it comes to sex with your wife or anybody else? No absolutely not. no problems there at least I don't think so.
as you say you lust after women for sex, but in your minds eye, so if its in your mind? why not just keep it there, and your problem is solved.
Is where I keep it..in my mind...I never act on any of it...but having been doing this all of my life since being 10yo this sexual lusting addiction has completely ruined my whole life! Truly messed me all up in every way possible you name it. I have kept it a secrete all my life. I have considered killing myself many times in the past because of it.
you say:
But now you have lost me, because you first post you say and quote,
What is the best way to stop sexual lusting constantly? and then you say in the above that its only in your mind? That's right what I said is correct is all in my mind and heart and that's where I keep it because I know if I was to act on any of it I would be jailed. But keeping this monster deep inside of me and feeding him, and giving him a rent free place in my mind and heart comes with a high price as I now know for a fact, Because it has ruined me completely beyond help. I don't know what to do because I have already tried just about everything I can try. I understand this is so hard to understand for anyone who does not share the same addiction but is real my friend very real.

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4456827 tn?1363378247
Perhaps there is something that your sexual relationship with your wife is lacking that you should communicate to her.
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Avatar universal
Hi Chucky, Did google lusting after women for you, but it seems you need to be a christian, perhaps there big on lusting after reading the bible all day.
Have a google your self and see what you can find.
You did say daily masturbating? is this giving you any problem when it comes to sex with your wife or anybody else? as you say you lust after women for sex, but in your minds eye, so if its in your mind? why not just keep it there, and your problem is solved.
But now you have lost me, because you first post you say and quote,
What is the best way to stop sexual lusting constantly? and then you say in the above that its only in your mind?
Now we all need help.
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Avatar universal
Thanks Arlane713, yes. How do I stop wanting or needing to lust/sex after other woman being that I'm married w/2 kids and wide of 30years? I am not into any porn type thing never was, I am not into any bars hang out places, not into any partying type thing, not into flirting with any woman, not into touching any other woman like gropiing them or anything like that, not into voyerism, or flashing, not into anything sexual deviant actiivity. I am just into lusting in my mind/heart wanting sex for other woman but thats it. It never goes beyond that. Oh did I forget daily masturbation..
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4456827 tn?1363378247
You want to know how to stop wanting multiple women?
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Avatar universal
Thanks Nohard, but no is not that. I do have a partner and I do have sex, and I do masturbate a lot every day. I don't think having ten girls would satisfy me. It  not the sex part is the lusting...I don't know how else to describe it..but thanks anyways.
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Avatar universal
Hi Chucky, Do you mean that you have a high libido, then your best plan is to find a partner who can match yours, that way you should beable to control it, by using up all your sexual energy with your partner.
Do you think that would suit you.
Good Luck
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