Mismatched Libidos

[M2KDC]

I am at a loss of what to do.  My husband has no interest in sex, hugging, kissing, any physical intimacy at all.  I would love to have sex several times a week, we usually have sex once every three months.  

He says he loves me (usually after I say it first) and I do love him, however we are now in a room-mate situation and it is making driving me crazy and making me sad.  He has been treated for depression before, and has admitted he needs to seek treatment again.  I knew of the depression before we married, but the relationship and communication has gone down hill the last 2 years.  He is 40 I am 43, I have almost adult children from a previous marriage.  We have been married for 2.5 years.  

Other things to consider:  he is vegan, so I am always making sure he gets enough protein.  And he is self sufficient, cleans up after himself, does his own laundry, makes his own lunches, etc.  

[NOHARD]

Hi KD, Depression and antidepressants are both sex killers, google this it may help, natural ways out of depression, there are lots of answers there, and if he does this without drugs you could try him on some DHEA, this will help boost his testosterone, his libido and his energy levels, its a hormone, but it can have the odd funny side effect with the odd person, so please read up about it, theres lots of info on line just google DHEA, and there is Tribulus, and it runs along the same lines as DHEA and you can even by them as a stack, Tribulus takes 8 weeks to get to full power, and then cut it back to 5 days out of 7, see how you go.
The DHEA start low say 25mgs a day the slowly build it up to what he things is a good daily dose, me I'm on 75mgs a day, 5omgs first thing in the morning with my Tribulus 450mgs and the other in the evening of both.
Hope this helps.
Good Luck

[Dalubaba]

Many antidepressant has side effect of lowering libido. Initially he has to be treated for depression with antidepressant which has least side effect on libido. He may add some exercise to boost up his libido.Male deer exercise , kegel exercise, and Sat kriya are good exercises for increasing libido. Prostate massage is also one way to increase libido. Internal as well as external  prostate massages are quite effective.You may google for these types of massage.Traditional as well as holistic therapies are indicated in such cases. There are herbs which can help to increase libido. There is plenty of info on sexual matters in the internet.

[M2KDC]

We have talked openly about all of it.  He will not come to counseling with me, flat out refused.  He did say he will find a counselor of his own choosing, but has not made many moves to do so.  I am going to remind him a few more times.  The reminding has to be framed in a "I need you as a lover and a friend" way and not in a nagging, mother type way.  

[Ineedhelpfornow]

What happened? I am going through same thing right now with my husband.

[remar]

It does sound like he may be having problems with depression again. Many people that are depressed have no interest in several things, including sex. Can you talk openly to him about getting in to therapy?