No feeling while sex

[Silverdusky]

Got I little problem what really gets on my nervs as you can emagine. I never had any feeling during having sex ever...
Its just like its dead inside, have a very painfull menstruation every month to, but taking hormons help...

can any body help me with my problem? Went to a female doctor and she said every thing is ok, but how can everything be ok?

Thanks

silverdusky

[oceans3]

i guess that would pose a problem but a few questions first. do you "please" yourself and if you do how does it feel then? also, are you with someone you love/significant other? or do you have more than one partner? Are you specifically talking about not being able to have an orgasam during sex? or no matter what you and your partner are doing, there is no arousal?

sometimes, if you are hesitant,shy, embarrassed, that can hinder any sexual feelings. also, if things in a relationship are not good emotionally, chances are they won't be good sexually either. maybe try to show/tell him what you like or feels good. this may be uncomfortable to tell him but usually the guy will want to please you and doesnt mind when you suggest things. (probably wants to be told). try to picture something in your mind that may help you get aroused. if things dont feel good, like if you are dry, use some ky jelly or even natural oils like almond oil to help make things more comfortable. start things slowly, lots of foreplay and dont feel like even if you are fooling around it has to lead to sex. thats too much pressure. just enjoy the little things first.
may need more info/details from you in order to help a little bit better. you sound sad.

[Silverdusky]

We'll I'm in a relationship and my boyfriend knows everything, told him that from th start. He tries to help.
But I n my opinion an external orgasem is a facke one and only last 3 sec. and i really dont't like it.

Even when I think of it it makes me sick, i got to the point where i hate sex. I do it just for him because I dont get anything off it. Never felt anything....

I could read a book during that... quite fustrating for my relationship.

I really dont know what to do... everytime I go to a doc with some female problem, seems like they dont want to help...

I got to the point, because I ve such a bad period I ve to take birth control other wise I have such pain, and I get a blackout to start the period plus pain...
and the docs said thats the way it is...

So, i dont really like docs anymore..

Thanks

[oceans3]

there are so many factors that can hinder any sexual feelings. medications can have side effects, emotional feelings, atmosphere, children around, stress, if you are tired/exhausted..only you know what that may be. you mentioned being on some hormones for your painful periods, i wonder if taking those is decreasing your sex drive? you said that even when you think of sex, it makes you sick. not to get personal, but did something happen in the past to make you feel this way? there was an earlier post about estrovin, maybe you should look into it. however, if something happened to you in the sexual dept. you should seek the help of a therapist. otherwise, the problem will stay. i know that i lost an interest after having my little one and i think we did it twice in a year. i simply had NO interest, tired, timing wasnt right, whatever the reason. then i just went ahead with it one night(after he approached me). to be honest, it was very uncomfortable, i was shy and not into it at all. we did it again on another night and it got better. i think we met our "quota" for the year. i hope you find the answers you are looking for and find a dr. that you are comfortable w. and can take the time to answer you concerns because you are right, it can take a toll on any relationship. glad your guy is supportive.

[oceans3]

sorry, the herbal supplement to help with sexual desire is "estravil"

[sweets1217]

I have the same problem i have been with my husband for eight years and at first i just pretended to to *** to make him happy then we got into a fight one day and it just came out  ever since that he feels bad that i cant cun during sex and he hates that i have to use a sex toy to *** and i cant even *** when he fingers me and yes it fells good when he does that but i just cant *** no matter how good it feels or how bad i want to   but i have been to docs and your right they wont try or say anything to help they just blow me off like it is my fault and i am weird or something  it is like i am numb there and i hate it my husband tries different things but nothing helps  if you find out anything that seems to bring feeling there please let me know and i will do the same  we have a loving relationship and i dont have a bad period or anything i am just numb.  well good luck with everything

[Koderz]

I have the same problem, me and my girlfriend was sitting here discussing how we have NO feeling during sex ever and we fake it all the time with our men. WHAT IS WRONG WITH US? For the guys, they are so into to it, but with us, we are just like laying there saying "omg, get this over with"!!!! Is there anyone that could tell us why, or is there something we can do to enhance our feeling down there? Please wb!!

[teacher43]

Are you attracted to the person you are having sex with?  Is there anything that can spark your arousal?   Is it possible your sexual preference may not be a male? I know many people who felt it was right to be with a male. Many years later, some after a long marriage, realized they may  "love" their spouse but are not "in love" with their spouse.  If intimacy makes you so uncomfortable, it may be something you should consider.

[faithfullyburton88]

I have the same problem having sex. I love my boyfriend with all my heart and couldn't be more attracted to him, but I can't have an orgasm, or even get near to one by sex alone. I know it's not the ideal, but maybe try to reach orgasm before having sex..with foreplay with him. That way, until you can figure out what's going on with the sex with him, you'll at least feel pleasure right before he does...so maybe during sex you'll be more aroused. I read that somewhere and have been thinking about doing the same, since sex is so frustrating. Good luck. If all else fails, vibrator? lol.

[toby101]

i have been having sex for nearly 2 years and it still doesnt feel good. im completely attracted and in love with my boyfriend but i cant enjoy sex with him. its driving me crazy, i hear all my girl friends talking about how great sex is with all diff men - not even ones they are in love with and i cant even enjoy it with my boyfriend. i think of things that arouse me during sex and still nothing, we try different positions and nothing. fore play is awesome but sex is numb, boring and sometimes painful. i always have to fake finishing so he will get it over with. isnt there some technique or medication to wake my vagina up. im sick of not getting any pleasure.

[toby101]

i have been having sex for nearly 2 years and it still doesnt feel good. im completely attracted and in love with my boyfriend but i cant enjoy sex with him. its driving me crazy, i hear all my girl friends talking about how great sex is with all diff men - not even ones they are in love with and i cant even enjoy it with my boyfriend. i think of things that arouse me during sex and still nothing, we try different positions and nothing. fore play is awesome but sex is numb, boring and sometimes painful. i always have to fake finishing so he will get it over with. isnt there some technique or medication to wake my vagina up. im sick of not getting any pleasure.

[notsure85]

ok ladies heres a suggestion have your man rub your G-spot. it is the most amazing orgasm ever. I have my man rub mine while i use a vibratoron my clit. (as many women I cannot achieve orgasm during sex but it is still amazing to have it during foreplay) he is probably just not touching you in the right places because i had the same problem untill i got with my boyfriend now. and oh my god my ex's could take some lessons. your man needs to take some time for foreplay to stimulate you and please you. if your man cannot reach your G-spot they make vibrators that do. Don't be afraid to use one they rock.

[tabi_jo]

I have the same problem as all of you, but mine's worse! I can't feel ANYTHING, I get horny and wet, but I can't feel it when he fingers me, goes down or we have sex. When he plays with my clit, it hurts and makes me feel like I have to go pee. He knows about my "problem," and now after each time we have sex, he asks "did you feel anything?" HELP!!!

[starie]

i too feel numb during sex exactlly no feeling at all only oral pleasure. Going to doctors sometimes really doesn't help. They always think its mental or some bad experience when you were young. My childhood was great. I do get aroused but when it comes to the intercourse no feeling

[xfoureyed06]

Hi I'm 16 and ii been sexualli actiive for about a year.. but ever since ii startd ii haven't felt a thing ,not with foreplay or oral even fingerinq NOTHiiNG ..I've been wonderinq if there's sumthinq wronq with me but after readinq everyone elses proble,s ii see we all share th SAME problem..every website says pleasure urself n stuff like dat or go to the doctor wat if we've tryed it All and nuttin still werks?..will it ever go away where ii can actually feel sumthinq..ii feel like I'm the wack one in the relationship..ii noe he feels sumthinq bhut ii don't..ii want thisz to END =( ..sumtimesz ii even cry because ii feel abnormal..so can sumon give me a decent answer plz!!!!

muchos graciiasz..thankyou ;)

[xfoureyed06]

Hi I'm 16 and ii been sexualli actiive for about a year.. but ever since ii startd ii haven't felt a thing ,not with foreplay or oral even fingerinq NOTHiiNG ..I've been wonderinq if there's sumthinq wronq with me but after readinq everyone elses proble,s ii see we all share th SAME problem..every website says pleasure urself n stuff like dat or go to the doctor wat if we've tryed it All and nuttin still werks?..will it ever go away where ii can actually feel sumthinq..ii feel like I'm the wack one in the relationship..ii noe he feels sumthinq bhut ii don't..ii want thisz to END =( ..sumtimesz ii even cry because ii feel abnormal..so can sumon give me a decent answer plz!!!!

muchos graciiasz..thankyou ;)

[scaredgirl111]

I kno this might sound a lil weird, but i havent had sex yet and what iff i dont feel anything? like i tryy inside but i dont feel anything:S onlyy on my clit when i press on it? i dont wanna be like that when i ****! i wanna feel something? is that normal:( someone help!

[amanda587]

I have been married for 8 years and sexual active for 12 years... Up to a day like today I havent felt anything... All my friends tend to talk about how great sex is and how they cannot leave without it.... I really dont understand why I do not have the same pleasure... I do get really stressed out about it, because I feel like I am not normal... We've tried all different type of position and still no luck....
Please someone help!

[alotofproblems]

I also suffer with this problem. I have been to 3 doctors (one who told me it was a mental problem??? what!!) and have had many test including 11 blood tests in one day and i still got no answers. i am now waiting on a gyno appointment. after reading all of your comments i now feel there is no hope. sure foreplay is fun but we want to know what sex is right! we should march into hosptial and not move until we get an answer. i even suffer from irregular bleeding and pain during intercourse..wat a life. at least im not alone..

[chocol8butterflies]

I am seventeen and have been sexually active for about a year and a half now. Like all of you ladies, I have yet to actually have an orgasm. I talked to my nineteen year old sister about it and I told her that I have perfected faking because I have had to do it so much. She just said that some women don't ever feel one because they are not comfortable with themselves. It's hard for some women because all they keep thinking about is personal things like, "am I doing this right?", "Does my vagina smell?", "Can he feel my pubic hair?", "I think he's getting bored". Things like that. Sorry if that is personal but that is probably why a lot of women are still not having orgasms. I know that I have tried to clear my mind and only think about pleasure but It's hard because silly things like this run through my mind. So I don't think the problem is finding the cure to not having an orgasm, I think we need to find a cure for clearing our minds! Anyway, I hope this helped at least someone. And ya it's reassuring to know that I am not alone. Thanks to all!

[alotofproblems]

the lady above my have a point there. i do beleive that this problem is medical but i do beleive that the mind and time spent do play a part in it aswell. i would say that you all feel insecure due to this problem i know i do. i ended up crying the other night duet to it and just feeling down in general. my bf said somethings to me and after that we did have sex and for the first time i felt something i felt a good feeling. he put in alot of effort and 2 hours but the things he said definately helped. u need to feel sexy and wanted grils. some may be uncomfortable with talking during sex but it does help. if he tells you how hot and sexy you look etc it does help. also you being on top does help. you need to really relly really want it. be in the mod, feel sexy and have him talk to you. try it whats the worst that can happen. i felt something from it and i would do it again.thanks to all who read this. let me know how you are getting on and share ideas!

[loveyou16]

i am 16 years old and ivehad sex 4 times.. but it seems when i masterbate i get more feeling wen i have sex.. when im fingured it feels good. but when i have sex i dont really feel anything..
ive always been inturupted during sex .. ive done it 4 times.. but only for like 6 or 7 mintues..
its weird

but do you think its because of not doing it long enough?

[winiewoo]

I feel the same, the only orgasm i have had is with just me and my clit and even then its very forced as i have no pleasure there or through penetration. I am also sick of ppl saying its a mental thing because it isnt. I have made the mistake of not telling my partner (now of 5 years).
At first i just though that he wasr ubbish but didnt care cos i loved him but reading all the posts i have read tells me that this is more comon than i thort. I read somewhere that us women suffer from being fridged, and that it doesnt mean that your scared off sex or that you are prude it is actually a term for women who feel no sexual pleaseur (according to the website anyway) so i have given up and besides after 5 years we dont do it that ofter anyway. The only time i have enjoyed sex was when i was younger and had sex on drugs. In no way am i promoting this at all, and even on drugs i did not feel anything physically i think it was just getting into the situation accentuated by the drug, its sad tho isnt it? the nly time i have "enjoyed" sex was when my mind was altered by a chemical!! and even then it was just a trick!! Good luck to all you girls out there and i hope you find a  way to satisfaction!

[alotofproblems]

hi girls. i waited nearly a year for a gyno app and when i got there she had cancelled on me months ago but never told me. i am now living in france and have gone to a gyno here and his reaction was terrible...he laughed and told me friend how "tight" i was.
i do want a second opinion. my doc at home in ireland says it could be endometreosis. anytime i take the pill etc i bleed non-top. i went on the injection and bleed for 1 year straight even aftre i had stopped getting the injections. i thnk i had 3 and bleed for a year. so i feel pain during sex and i cannot take any contraception and the doctor just says your tight, its in your head and dont take any contraception. thats not fair. i want to know y. i want to know why it make me bleed. there has to be an explanation. and i want to know y i feel either no pain or nuthn. as i said before time and effort help but we shouldnt have to be that way everytime, we need answers. its not in our heads. and i cant be told just not to take any contraception.
also has any women had a snip procedure done? one reason i may be tight is due to a muscle that can be cut a doc in ireland once said and i want to know if it hurts and if its worth it.
she told me to go home and train my mind and if that didnt work id get that procedure done. i then started to see a new doc and am now abroad.
help someone.

[heppy87]

can i ask a question here....

how many of us are on the pill???

reply.....

[moonlitpromise]

I'm 18 and having this problem as well. I couldn't get myself to orgasm unless I rubbed my clitoris. Even when I fingered myself it didn't work and no one else could get a reaction out of me. My first was a virgin and I figured it might have just been that he didn't know what he was doing. Then with my second, who wasn't a virgin, I still didn't feel anything. My best friend was with one guy and she tells me all the time how amazing sex is and it makes me extremely sad. With my third, I felt something and then it would go away and it would keep repeating that way and I couldn't orgasm. We tried a vibrator and that didn't work either.

There was a different guy who fingered me very well and it felt good for a while then I'd go numb. With my most recently, he can get a reaction out of me by licking my breasts, which I never felt before. It was always just like someone was licking me and it was always weird. And when he fingers me it feels good. And we had sex kinda (long story short, we kept having to stop) and he's EXTREMELY big (don't even get me started. I think it's in the water where I live because every guy I meet has a huge one, but this guy is just... wow) and it felt good with him (though it hurt at the same time). I think it's because I started birth control, but that was after I was with the guy that fingered me. My friend joked that finally my "genitals are working". All I know is that: I love having feeling now. And maybe someday, I can actually orgasm.

:] Hope everything turns out okay for all of you. Maybe you just have to give it time like I did. Or try pills.

[alotofproblems]

I have tried been on the pill and the injection and not been on anything at all.
I do feel things sometimes but not all the time.
There is pain now and again.
A few docs mentioned that I hae a tight muscle so this could be the problem.
But the thing is every pill i go on or needle causes me to bleed srtaight for weeks.
The needle made me blee for a year.
Docs just say just don't go on the pill but i want to.
I want something else besides condoms.
I dont trust them on ther own.
Does anyone else have this problem and know of a pill??????
HELP!
im in a long term relationhsip and this is killing me.

[alotofproblems]

also i still do not agree with docs saying its a mental prob but i do think that after all wev'e gone through and what we suffer every time we do have sex we jsut expect that it will hurt or we won;t enjoy it so I do think that may play a part in it all because of our expecatations.

[alotofproblems]

will anal sex be the same for us then?

[dazednconfused19]

being on top does help a lot because you get to rub your clit just right i cant get them on bottem, yall should try it!

[123Charmed]

For the first time i experience no feeling during sex......2 weeks ago I had sex with my x-boyfriend after 2 months that we broke-up...I did enjoy foreplay once penetration didnt feel anything, after he was done he blame it on me that I didnt focused, that i should of said something ...That I made him feel really mad cause it the first time this ever happen to us...When we were together nothing like this happen he coould make me cumm twice which he loved to do.....Is it normal or their something wrong with me....

[vox_weps]

You are normal, nothing is wrong, and IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT. Don't listen to him, he just feels like he is less of a man because he couldn't make you come. Guys do that. You didn't come because this is the guy you trusted, and then you broke up and it hurt, and now you are back together and you have to build that trust again so you can be comfortable enough and vulnerable enough to have an orgasm.
Also, it could be because you don't love him anymore and you don't trust him to make you come. If this was a fling, then it's not going to be the same as when you were together and you won't feel ok to come. Your body knows when it's right, trust it.
If he makes you feel bad about it, makes you feel guilty and like you aren't a good woman, then he is making it worse. You should find someone else or talk to him and make him understand.

[vox_weps]

You are normal, nothing is wrong, and IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT. Don't listen to him, he just feels like he is less of a man because he couldn't make you come. Guys do that. You didn't come because this is the guy you trusted, and then you broke up and it hurt, and now you are back together and you have to build that trust again so you can be comfortable enough and vulnerable enough to have an orgasm.
Also, it could be because you don't love him anymore and you don't trust him to make you come. If this was a fling, then it's not going to be the same as when you were together and you won't feel ok to come. Your body knows when it's right, trust it.
If he makes you feel bad about it, makes you feel guilty and like you aren't a good woman, then he is making it worse. You should find someone else or talk to him and make him understand.

[123Charmed]

Thank so much for your kind words...I think it was just a fling....ur right I dont trust him anymore, deep down I was just hoping that their was still the sex attraction at least..I'll just moved on and try to forget about him...