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No sex for 13 years
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No sex for 13 years

I have read through various responses, but none of them fully address mys issues.  I have mostly given up, but go through periods of re-interest in finding a solution.  I fear it is a waste of time, but my hope is that someone out there will have an idea.  I could write a book about all I have been through in the last six years, but will try to be brief.   Our sex life was good.  Approximately two times daily for 13 years.  She had an affair, and was told that she would leave if I did not let her continue.  So I did, and my sex with her actually increased.  When I had had enough of the situation, she finally left in 98.
I did not have sex with anyone for the next seven years, but would masturbate a couple times a week.    I re-married seven years later.  A week before marriage, I felt a change in my body.  My sex drive was gone.  Had testosterone checked.  Was 278.  Went to doctors, did the cialis-viagra thing, but nothing.  Tried penile injection.  Gave me an erection, but I had no feeling.  Over the next few months my testosterone dropped to 28.  Received testosterone injections that raised my reading to 1100.  The doctor said I should be able to chew steel.  Yet, no interest and no erection.  I have been to a major university hospital and Mayo in Rochester.  They have no answers.  One doctor told me to find something else to do.  Like that would be easy.  So here I am married to my new wife who is much younger than I. I am 49.  We have not had sex yet.  She uses a vibrator for her pleasure.  I know she saw a man for about 6 months.  But that was several years ago, and I don't think she is seeing anyone now.  I really don't care anymore.  My testicles hurt all the time, but I have no solutions.  I guess this is the real end.  The last time I had sex was when I was 37.  Maybe I just needed to complain.  Sorry.............................................................
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16 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_n_tn
I've read somewhere that cuckolding increases the male's desire to mate, in an attempt to compete against the "other guy"'s genes.

Maybe your psyche has gotten to such competition, you just don't feel aroused when you've no other competition.
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Avatar_m_tn
Well exactly what happens when you masturbate? Do you get great erections with masturbation? Solid stiff erections? And how often do you masturbate?
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Avatar_m_tn
I can get an erection for a short time.  I can't masturbate on my own.  My wife will do it for me sometimes, but it may take about a half an hour.  I just have no feeling at all.  When I try to enter her when I can get hard, I can't feel her at all.  I do have ejaculate, although not as much as before.  I have to focre myself to be interested.  I told a urologist once that I would rather watch the food network than have sex.  He laughed.  I did not !!!
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Avatar_m_tn
I can't give you my input, still some unanswered questions here...

1) What do you mean you can't masturbate yourself?

2) When she masturbate you, can you feel any pleasure at all?

3) When you penetrate her (I'm assuming w/no condom) does your penis feel any pleasure? What exactly do you feel? Do you feel the wetness, the tightness, the friction, the warmth, etc.

4) How do you reach ejaculation then? Are you thinking something else sexual while your penis feels no sensation. In other words, are you imagining someone else having sex with your wife while you're peeping thru the door and catching her cheating?

5) Again, how often do you masturbate? That's an important question...
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Avatar_m_tn
1) What do you mean you can't masturbate yourself?
    
                        I can't get  hard by myself.  My own touch has no affect.

2) When she masturbate you, can you feel any pleasure at all?

                        She has to squeeze pretty hard.  I have to try to fantasize while she does this
                        but I can't keep an exciting thought very long.  I squeeze almost to the point
                        of exhaustion before ejaculation.

3) When you penetrate her (I'm assuming w/no condom) does your penis feel any pleasure? What exactly do you feel? Do you feel the wetness, the tightness, the friction, the warmth, etc.

                         I can feel warmth, and that's about it.  No friction.  I think that is why I lose my
                         erection right away.  No feeling to keep me stimulated.

4) How do you reach ejaculation then? Are you thinking something else sexual while your penis feels no sensation. In other words, are you imagining someone else having sex with your wife while you're peeping thru the door and catching her cheating?

                          That's what we are trying to figure out.  It's takes a lot of work, but I can do it.
                          I try to think of someone  else, but even that is not exciting.  I've even tried
                          porn, but that's not exciting either, which make no sense to me, I used to
                          really like watching it.  Now nothing.

5) Again, how often do you masturbate? That's an important question...

                          Maybe once or twice a week.  She has to do it though.  If she does not do it
                          it does not happen.  

Thanks for staying with me on this.  I know it sounds crazy but it is true.  We fight, because I want sex, but can't follow through.  ANd on top of all this, my penis is shrinking.  I was never big maybe 61/2 inches, but now barely make 4 inches.  One of the doctors told me this could happen.  This depresses me also.
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Avatar_m_tn
Okay I have an answer now...

Based on everything you just said, your penis is lacking penis head sensitivity. In other words, you can feel when your penis is being touched but there is no sensation behind it. And you're right, the reason you go down inside the vagina is because the penis head is not feeling any pleasure. So now when you have sex or receive masturbation from your wife, you are trying to use your mind to get off rather than enjoying the penis sensation itself.

If you go visit a doctor about your problem, they will put this machine to your penis to test the nerves and most likely it will rate your penis normal because you can in fact still feel something touching your penis. So this will be a waste of time.

There are no medications or over the counter drugs that help increase penis sensitivity. I wish there was...

I forgot to ask you if you were circumcised or not. Please let me know so I can help you reach a remedy for your problem.
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Avatar_m_tn
That's it.  I have to use my mind.  Not what I really want to do.  It used to be so easy.

Yes, I am circumcised.  I forgot to mention that over the last year, it has been hard to feel my ejaculations.  I mean not completely, but there have been times that I could barely tell that I did.

Thanks
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Avatar_m_tn
At this point, the only thing I can suggest is to refrain from masturbation for a while. Stop vigorously rubbing your penis head. It is numbing your head and reducing more and more of the sensation. Staying from masturbation may allow you to build more sex libido, more sensitivity, more confidence, and more focus. Masturbation keeps the penis tired and less horny.

Also, make sure you are washing with sensitive-skin products on your penis. Regular soap dries out the penis. You don't have a shiny penis head like someone that is not circumcised.

Since you live in U.S., perhaps investing into the manhood for your penis can bring you some great results. Visit manhood.mb.ca

Make sure you are not putting lotion on your penis. Yes it keeps the penis soft and it also dulls the sensation. I discover that a dry penis gives the most sensation.

After a month of no masturbation, have your wife stroke your penis with a wet hand. No lubrication is necessary, just some good old fashion spit. When your wife is dry stroking you, believe it or not, that is numbing the sensation in your penis head. A penis likes a wet feeling.

If you are masturbating to porn, stop that as well. What you are doing is making it harder for you to achieve natural erections from visual stimulation and kissing.

CONCLUSION: Go for a couple weeks to a month with no touching of the penis. Just do foreplay but don't touch your penis or let your wife touch it. After a couple weeks, let her touch it but use a wet hand and light touch. Don't vigorously stroke the penis. When having sex with her, concentrate on the sensation your penis head receives rather than completely using your mind/imagination to keep you excited. And don't get so frustrated because this takes a time process.

I hope you follow my advice. Good Luck and keep me posted!
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Avatar_m_tn
I will try this, and thanks for taking the time to help.  I will report back.
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Avatar_m_tn
okay
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi,
    Have you consulted an endocrinologist and had a complete hormone levels assessed? Your sudden fall in testosterone to 28 does not sound right at all. You should find out the reason for the same. Also you have mentioned " My testicles hurt all the time, but I have no solutions. ", does it mean they ache? There may be some problem with them too. Do not stop investigating the physiological problem, may be you have to consult more doctors.
Solace
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Avatar_m_tn
Hello:
    I have not been to endo yet.  I do need to consider that.  My right testicle is the one that really hurts the most.  As my penis has shrunk, so have my testicles.  They get really small like quarter sized.  I can push in on the scrotum and it feels empty.  My testicles used to really hang down quite low.  I believe that my lack of sex drive is related to this.  I actually have gotten more interest on here in a few days that I get from doctors.  It is amazing how they want to blow me off.  If it were happening to them, they would be a little more interested.  I am going to definately do as Myron_Long has suggested, because at least I am doing something. Thank you for you interest and time to write to me.
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Avatar_m_tn
When you get the chance, click on my name and read my journal notes. Maybe some insight there you can relate to.
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139792_tn?1299416777
Have you ever tried a prostate massage? You can do it yourself or your wife can do it. You can learn the same from the websites or health care people.Prostate massage can work as sex-stimulator or even can generate orgasm.
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139792_tn?1299416777
If you can take interest in learning yoga, you may get benefit from kundalini yoga. this yoga focus on lower bace and spinal column area.If regularly pursued it may give you other health benefits. For a sample search the word SATKRIYA. or Sat- kriya.This is a particular type of breathing which arouses sexual energy. Just go through the article on sat kriay.
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139792_tn?1299416777
Penis Bath- in yoga it is called Mehan snan(bath), This is done on the tip of the foreskin. As you are circumcised,you may do perinium bath or p massage. Pet perineum with a cloth dripping with water for 15 minutes a day. you can massage perinium by dipping fingers in the muscle between anus and scrotum.
Even pumping scrotum(do not hurt your testicles) with hand can stimulate by increasing the blood flow.
Another modality is kegel exercise. this can be done by female and male. If practice regularly, it will help you to become normal in sexual matter.Search the word kegel exercises.
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