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Not having sex after baby

I have been with my boyfriend off and on for over seven years. Needless to say it’s been a little rocky at times. Our sex life has always been pretty good; we would have sex at least three to four times a week. Last year by surprise I found out I was pregnant, which we really were not prepared for. The first month there were no problems being intimate and then just like that it stopped. I asked my boyfriend many times if anything was wrong and he would just blame it on stress. Finally at about the third month he said it was because it didn't feel right to have sex while I was pregnant, I understood and didn't bring it up again. Well now the baby is five going on six months and we have yet to be intimate in any way (our kissing has even gone down to just a small peck). When I try to bring up this issue he makes me feel like I'm dirty for thinking so much about having sex with me. He says it's due to stress and that he has gotten used to not have it for so long so he doesn't feel the need. He swears he is not cheating on me. We are living with my parents until we get our house, so of course this is an issue but on occasions where we have been alone he doesn't even try to intimate anything. Is this normal? I don't know if I could really keep this up much longer, please help!
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1671134 tn?1304343958
I'd suggest that you just start with talking about the baby first. In my case, I just needed to know that everything was going to be okay with the baby and that despite having the kid the wife was still interested in having sex, but not immediately interested in having another kid. Ask if his fears are that you'll get pregnant again and if so then I'd have the talk about when or if you want to have another kid. There's a lot going through his mind and kist being assured of what both of you feel is usually enough to overcome any other problems.
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Avatar universal
Thank you for your post, at least I know my bf is not the only guy feeling this way. I have tried to talk to him about the changes; he says he is really happy being a father but that he does worry about getting me pregnant again.

I just always thought that men need sex in their lives as well- I mean how do I stay connected with him (on that level) if there is nothing going on in the bedroom? What kind of questions should I ask to help him open up?
Helpful - 0
1671134 tn?1304343958
I can understand your boyfriend's point. I didn't feel like sex after the birth of my kid either. There's a lot of additional pressure on me and the last thing I wanted to do was have sex and have another kid in this world when I wasn't mentally ready for it. It took me at least a full year to even get back into the desire to have sex after the kid. Naturally, everyone's different but I suspect he's just stressed out about the baby and really is just worried about a lot of things. Instead of trying to initiate sex, I'd try talking to him and asking him how he feels with the baby around and make him feel like a father.
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