I'd suggest that you just start with talking about the baby first. In my case, I just needed to know that everything was going to be okay with the baby and that despite having the kid the wife was still interested in having sex, but not immediately interested in having another kid. Ask if his fears are that you'll get pregnant again and if so then I'd have the talk about when or if you want to have another kid. There's a lot going through his mind and kist being assured of what both of you feel is usually enough to overcome any other problems.
Thank you for your post, at least I know my bf is not the only guy feeling this way. I have tried to talk to him about the changes; he says he is really happy being a father but that he does worry about getting me pregnant again.
I just always thought that men need sex in their lives as well- I mean how do I stay connected with him (on that level) if there is nothing going on in the bedroom? What kind of questions should I ask to help him open up?
I can understand your boyfriend's point. I didn't feel like sex after the birth of my kid either. There's a lot of additional pressure on me and the last thing I wanted to do was have sex and have another kid in this world when I wasn't mentally ready for it. It took me at least a full year to even get back into the desire to have sex after the kid. Naturally, everyone's different but I suspect he's just stressed out about the baby and really is just worried about a lot of things. Instead of trying to initiate sex, I'd try talking to him and asking him how he feels with the baby around and make him feel like a father.