I'm a fairly healthy 45 year old male who has been married for over 9 months. I've been masturbating for the last 30+ years of my life, on an almost daily basis, using mostly porn for viewing stimulation. My wife is very attractive and we have unprotected sex at least once per day, every day. And, I rarely, if ever, masturbate anymore. But, from the beginning, I've been having problems sustaining an erection and even worse, not ejaculating most of the times. I've even tried Cialis and Viagra. They help sustain an erection but make it even harder to ejaculate. I really wish there was a way to help my penis feel more sensitive when I'm inside her vagina or receiving oral from her. Most of my younger adult life, I've practiced so hard to avoid premature ejaculation, that I now feel that my penis has lost much of its sensitivity. Is there any solution to this awful problem? Do I need surgery? Are there any homeopathic remedies out there? I love her and want to last long enough for her to get off and want to also get off myself! Any assistance in any way is greatly appreciated.
You may try the following method. (Probably you already know the method)
Start masturbation, stop masturbating when you are on the verge of ejaculation for few seconds and start again masturbating. Do this for four rounds without ejaculation.
This will retrain you mind to delay the ejaculation. This will also recharge your batteries.
You may visit some kundalini yoga websites. www.anmolmehta.com is quite comprehensive website. It will work as a long term treatment
Thank you for your suggestion Dalubaba. My problem is not premature ejaculation. On the contrary, my problem is lost sensitivity in my penis. Is there an over-the-counter topical solution, like a cream, that can revive some more sensitivity back into my penis again?
I dated a man (who was in his early 50s at the time that we were together) who had major erectile/ ejaculatory problems. These issues stemmed from poor circulate in his pelvic region... which generally manifested as a lack of sensitivity. And, while Viagra and similar ED medications proved to be effective in the achievement of erections... they were not effective in terms of ejaculation.
One thing that we discovered was that if I aggressively stimulated him... and, I mean applying very rough oral stimulation that included the use of my teeth! ... he could be brought to orgasm. It sounds crazy, I know... and, I'm not necessarily advocating this practice. But, it's an extreme measure that actually did work for him. Another thing that proved to be very beneficial, were lower back chiropractic adjustments that he had undergone. That, along with the aggressive oral sex worked out perfectly as both approaches, no doubt, affected his circulation for the better. So, I don't know if any of this would work for you or anyone else. I suppose that what I'm offering here is a bit of personal experience as an example of the need to experiment and discover creative ways to find what works for ourselves... and, our partner.
I had a similar problem a couple of years back, in my mid-30s. It has to be some sort of metal blockage or something, because the mechanism still worked fine - I could stay hard and reach orgasm through masturbation, either by myself or with my wife doing it. I could stay hard through foreplay. But, for some reason, I would start to go limp a couple of minutes into penetrative sex.
Of course, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy - I worried about losing my erection, and the worry and stress would then contribute to me actually losing it.
I also tended to masturbate a fair amount up to this point - since we'd had kids, my wife's libido never really recovered to the pre-kids level, and we'd tend to have sex once a week at most, so I filled in the gaps by masturbating.
The only thing I can really suggest is having sex less frequently. Then, when you do have sex, maybe you'll be more wound up by it, more excited, and that'll help you to stay harder longer. It may make you come quicker, but at least you may stay hard until you get to that point. I do know that cutting down on the masturbation a lot helped my problem.
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