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Various Sex Questions (semen, orgasm, vagina size...)
I have a couple of questions so I appreciate responses to any of them.
1) Sometimes when I swallow my boyfriend's semen after oral sex, I get a stomachache. Sometimes it just feels a little odd, hard to describe, but sometimes it feels almost like I could throw up. It's not because of the taste, that doesn't bother me so much, and it doesn't affect my stomach until a little later on. Has anyone else experienced this/know why this might be occurring?
2) I have never been able to achieve orgasm either with a partner or by myself. I think know more or less what to do and what it's supposed to feel like, and my current boyfriend definitely makes me feel good enough for it to happen, but it just doesn't. Anyone know why this could be the case, or have specific suggestions on how to get to the orgasm? Sometimes it feels like I'm so close but also sometimes my body feels so sensitive that I almost can't handle it and have to stop (i.e. when he's fingering me/massaging my clitoris). I want to keep going to reach orgasm but yet it takes so much effort, I don't know what to do!
*Note, I currently am taking antidepressants and have been for about 8-9 years. I know this can inhibit orgasm, but it's not like it can't still happen, right? I don't think I can stop the medication at this time.
3) It's been a while since I had penal/vaginal intercourse, and I've only ever done it with one person (ex-boyfriend), but it was never particularly pleasurable for me (even though I wanted it to be). It actually was somewhat painful even after the first time. He could usually never even get two fingers in me without me having to make him stop, and the same goes for my current boyfriend. Additionally, I had a pap smear not too long ago and the speculum was very painful for me even though it apparently shouldn't be. The doctor said that everything looks fine, but I'm curious if maybe my vagina is just really narrow? What can I do to make sex hurt less?
I know that's a lot of info and questions but I just wanted to put it all out there and see what kind of advice I can get!
Thanks!
1) Sometimes when I swallow my boyfriend's semen after oral sex, I get a stomachache. Sometimes it just feels a little odd, hard to describe, but sometimes it feels almost like I could throw up. It's not because of the taste, that doesn't bother me so much, and it doesn't affect my stomach until a little later on. Has anyone else experienced this/know why this might be occurring?
2) I have never been able to achieve orgasm either with a partner or by myself. I think know more or less what to do and what it's supposed to feel like, and my current boyfriend definitely makes me feel good enough for it to happen, but it just doesn't. Anyone know why this could be the case, or have specific suggestions on how to get to the orgasm? Sometimes it feels like I'm so close but also sometimes my body feels so sensitive that I almost can't handle it and have to stop (i.e. when he's fingering me/massaging my clitoris). I want to keep going to reach orgasm but yet it takes so much effort, I don't know what to do!
*Note, I currently am taking antidepressants and have been for about 8-9 years. I know this can inhibit orgasm, but it's not like it can't still happen, right? I don't think I can stop the medication at this time.
3) It's been a while since I had penal/vaginal intercourse, and I've only ever done it with one person (ex-boyfriend), but it was never particularly pleasurable for me (even though I wanted it to be). It actually was somewhat painful even after the first time. He could usually never even get two fingers in me without me having to make him stop, and the same goes for my current boyfriend. Additionally, I had a pap smear not too long ago and the speculum was very painful for me even though it apparently shouldn't be. The doctor said that everything looks fine, but I'm curious if maybe my vagina is just really narrow? What can I do to make sex hurt less?
I know that's a lot of info and questions but I just wanted to put it all out there and see what kind of advice I can get!
Thanks!
COMMUNITY LEADER
The above posts have given good suggestions and insight into your problem.I may suggest few exercises, which are likely to help as an adjunct therapy. Female Deer Exercise, kegel exercise, Uddian Bandh (navel Yogic Lock).Google these words , learn the technique if you find them doable, and practice regularly.Female deer exercise may take one month to see some significant improvement.These are based on yoga, taoist yoga and an exorcise suggested by DR. Kegel.
For Q3 this sounds like it could be vaginismus. Its not what it sounds like, its not an sti or anything like that. Its a tight vagina due to a psychological cause. Likely linked with your depression and even more likely if you suffer any anxiety. Have a google - really hope it helps you. Explain it to your partner and work together there's lots of advice onlinel also you can seek therapy to assist with it.
For Q2 anti depressants effect everyone differently, and each different type and then individual one again has different effects on different people. It is very possible it is your medication preventing orgasm. However you do not have to stop taking it, try talking with your gp to see if they think it could be the medication and discuss altering the dose, changing the tablet or group of anti depressants. Unfortunately not all everyone can reach orgasm though and from what I've read it's more common than people realise. If you don't have counselling try that, or if need be a psychologist or psychiatrist? It can help in addition or separately to medication. It isn't for everyone, I tried counselling 4 years ago and hated it but a 2 years later it changed my life for the better. I now see a clinical psychologist and the first one I saw sent me into a deeper depression but this time its giving me my life back. Its very personal and about where you are at the time in yourself and your life. Try a sex therapist maybe they can give advice? Its clearly not arousal just orgasm maybe your gyno could help with pointing out anatomy? We're all different and they know best. Have you tried toys? If its sensitivity that's the issue try the creams that make men last longer, maybe it will actually help you? I don't know just a random idea. I don't mean offence but anal? Maybe you'd orgasm from that, I don't know personally I haven't tried anal but some people love it, others hate it. Possibly worth considering in the future.
Q1 - sorry I can't help with this.
- I have been depressed for about 5 years on and off medication and it had a massive negative affect on my sex drive. I still take strong pain killers which also impact it and I'm still suffering with depression, currently unmediated but managed with a psycologist. I still have no sex drive! The depression itself effects you aswell you see. I can orgasm quite easily but I have no desire at all, and like you find penetration difficult as tighten up. At my worst I couldn't use tampons, it takes time and patience and effort and understanding to get better and looser.
Hope I've helped a bit. You're not alone!
For Q2 anti depressants effect everyone differently, and each different type and then individual one again has different effects on different people. It is very possible it is your medication preventing orgasm. However you do not have to stop taking it, try talking with your gp to see if they think it could be the medication and discuss altering the dose, changing the tablet or group of anti depressants. Unfortunately not all everyone can reach orgasm though and from what I've read it's more common than people realise. If you don't have counselling try that, or if need be a psychologist or psychiatrist? It can help in addition or separately to medication. It isn't for everyone, I tried counselling 4 years ago and hated it but a 2 years later it changed my life for the better. I now see a clinical psychologist and the first one I saw sent me into a deeper depression but this time its giving me my life back. Its very personal and about where you are at the time in yourself and your life. Try a sex therapist maybe they can give advice? Its clearly not arousal just orgasm maybe your gyno could help with pointing out anatomy? We're all different and they know best. Have you tried toys? If its sensitivity that's the issue try the creams that make men last longer, maybe it will actually help you? I don't know just a random idea. I don't mean offence but anal? Maybe you'd orgasm from that, I don't know personally I haven't tried anal but some people love it, others hate it. Possibly worth considering in the future.
Q1 - sorry I can't help with this.
- I have been depressed for about 5 years on and off medication and it had a massive negative affect on my sex drive. I still take strong pain killers which also impact it and I'm still suffering with depression, currently unmediated but managed with a psycologist. I still have no sex drive! The depression itself effects you aswell you see. I can orgasm quite easily but I have no desire at all, and like you find penetration difficult as tighten up. At my worst I couldn't use tampons, it takes time and patience and effort and understanding to get better and looser.
Hope I've helped a bit. You're not alone!
have your boyfriend drink orange juice.. makes the sperm taste tons better
and it doesnt upset your stomach as much :))
and it doesnt upset your stomach as much :))
COMMUNITY LEADER
Yes, your antidepressant can keep you from having orgasms. There are a few that do not have this side effect so you may want to talk to your Dr about changing your medication. It can take about a week for your current one to get completely out of your system so have patience. You should be able to have an orgasm after that amount of time.
You may not be making enough of your own natural lubrication so I would recommend buy a water based lubrication. You can buy this at any drug store. Ask your gynecologist to use a lot of Ky Jelly when you get your examinations. It will help make things less painful. Your antidepressant might be making you dry also.
We're always here to help anyway we can so never think your post is too long.
When you have oral with your boyfriend try to not swallow and see if that helps your stomach.
You may not be making enough of your own natural lubrication so I would recommend buy a water based lubrication. You can buy this at any drug store. Ask your gynecologist to use a lot of Ky Jelly when you get your examinations. It will help make things less painful. Your antidepressant might be making you dry also.
We're always here to help anyway we can so never think your post is too long.
When you have oral with your boyfriend try to not swallow and see if that helps your stomach.
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Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
