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1391959 tn?1280443462
What can I do to make him want to have sex more???
I'm 26 and my fiance is 33, In our relationship I'm the one who wants sex more often and he always is "to tired or has  a headache or is to stressed out!"  I just try and be patient, when he is ready he will come to me right? I would like to have sex two or three times a day but that is never the case it's more like two times a week, at most!  He says it's because of our age difference, and that his sex drive is not what it used to be. I love him DEARLY and we get along great but I really want our sex life to increase, is there anything I can do to make him more interested in sex and me??? When we do have sex it's incredible and I extremely enjoy it, I had my first "real" orgasm with him and I've never had really good sex up until him, I guess maybe that's part of the reason I can't seem to keep my hands off him!! I don't want to push him because I don't think that will help at all but I hate just waiting for him to decide when we are going to have sex. I just don't know how to come to some kind of compromise, where we are both happy and getting what we need from one another!! Any advise would be greatly appreciated!!! I feel young and kind of dumb, and I always thought it was the woman that made those excuses about sex!! I feel like our roles have been reversed and I just don't know how to handle our situation!!
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Avatar universal
Hi there,
I am in the same situation as you, we been married for 9 years, thigns gotten worse then better, he says every marrige have problem.. he is not in to sex at all, it is always me starting and try to get him to sex.. otherwise we get on very well, we are good freinds and all.
unfortunatly i just dont know what to do about it..
i hope things get better for you.. if you dont ask him for sex, how long does it take for him to come to you?? if he ever.. mine if i dont ask for months he is ok wiht it.. im very frustrated.. i love him but...he is not making any efforts
all the best
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1391959 tn?1280443462
If I don't come to him, he will wait two weeks or more!! sometimes he comes to me a few times a week, but normally it's about once or twice a month!! Good luck, I hope things get better, I'm Pregnant now  so sex has gotten kind of weird cause I'm afraid to be to rough, but I was losing weight before and it seemed like the more weight I lost and the better shape I got into the more we had sex, so maybe if you try changing your looks in some way it might make him notice you more, like getting a sexy hair cut or losing a little weight(if you need to) or just doing something drastic to change your self in  a way that will get his attention!!! Again good luck, and Thanks!!!

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1391959 tn?1280443462
That's SOOO not the problem, I offer oral and he turns that down... and I do it every style except for the in the behind stuff I just can't take that!! I'm open to doing it doggie or just about any way, I'd even stand on my head if he wanted me to, but most times he's just not in the mood. I handle it well, I can please myself if need be!! But to me sex isn't just about the sex it has a lot to do with the intimacy for me, I like just being with him in that way!! He has no complaints about the sex that we do have its just that I have a much higher sex drive than him, he says that I'm a serious nympho, and I guess he might be right. But he knows that my heart belongs to him so I would never cheat to have my sexual needs met.... I just wish I could figure out a way to make him get in the mood more often!!! I do understand that he is under a lot of stress right now, we both are unemployed, about to move to a new state to get jobs that we have waiting on us, and now a new baby on the way!! So there is  a lot going on. I just wish he wouldn't let all that stuff stop us from being more sexually active.  Thanks for the input!!!!

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I would take this question over to the relationship forum where you'll probably get some really good advice. I'm in a similar situation with my partner and no it's not always the girl turning down the sex. Actually it's pretty rare to get a relationship where the libidos are matched up perfectly. You're right pushing him won't help, you can initiate sometimes but don't pressure him into it. I would just masturbate or something to relieve the sexual frustration. you'll get into a rhythm with him, just know that you're not alone we're all having these problems and it doesn't mean he doesn't love you or find you attractive!
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