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What should I do? I feel depressed of being gay?

I am 27 yr old male and come from a culture where marriage is considered very sacred part of life and everyone should get married by my age. Friends, family, relatives, almost everyone who knows me asks the same question: When r u getting married?

The problem is that I am gay and not out about it. I don't act like gays, I don't behave like gays, but deep inside I know what I am. I cant even tell anyone because I would be nothing but a matter of laugh and taunts in the whole society.

I dont know what to do. Lately, I have been unable to concentrate at work and school. My manager screams at me. My grades have dropped unbelievably. I am not happy. Sometimes, I feel like running away where no one knows me. Other times I have suicidal thoughts.
I even cried and didn't sleep the whole night. All I kept thinking, why did god chose me to be gay?

Is there a way I could be straight? any therapy/treatment?
7 Responses
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Avatar universal
I am in your exact same shoes brother. I have searched the web high and low to find answers to the feelings I have that are like yours. I hope this is not taken the wrong way, but I would really like to speak with you just so that I can have a heart to heart with someone who feels the same as I do. When you said, "why did god choose me to be gay?" I felt like I was typing the message . I know it has been a year since your post but hopefully you are still out there somewhere. Please email me at ***@****. hope to hear from you soon bro.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Don't listen to them. It is not anusual that after you sex with a man you want more. the opposite can happen as well. I had sex with man. After that day, i could not stop thinking of that night. I was 16. I promised to myself never to watch anything gay. It was hard for me at the start but i kept watch Normal porn on videos and keep masturbating with those videos. After some years there is no sign of anything gey on me. I am 22 now and i have so many experiences with girls, but nothin with boys, because i don't feel like wanting that anymore. I feel like it is boring to go with a boy. So now i am relaxed.
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Avatar universal
Don't listen to them. It is not anusual that after you sex with a man you want more. the opposite can happen as well. I had sex with man. After that day, i could not stop thinking of that night. I was 16. I promised to myself never to watch anything gay. It was hard for me at the start but i kept watch Normal porn on videos and keep masturbating with those videos. After some years there is no sign of anything gey on me. I am 22 now and i have so many experiences with girls, but nothin with boys, because i don't feel like wanting that anymore. I feel like it is boring to go with a boy. So now i am relaxed.
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Avatar universal
I have a nephew who is openly gay and know others as well.    The reply from a straight man above is accurate and helpful for sure though using the word 'normal' is no longer a good idea when discussing the issue of being gay.    
You say you come from a culture where being gay is not accepted.     abs, where do you live?    I ask because here in the States,   being opening gay is no longer a big deal.    You've heard of Ellen DeGeneres,  Ricky Martin,  Lance Bass,  Elton John,  I could go on and on so just wondering where you're from.     As the other poster said,  you cannot change from being gay to being straight just as the straight man would tell you that you cannot change from being straight to becoming gay.   It is inborn as said.        
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am a straight man and I have known my sister is gay for the past two years and I have only just talked to her tonight about it openly. And I am not expert on the matter as I have no idea how hard this is for you but here is my thoughts.

It is totally normal to be gay these days. The majority of society is really open to it. I actually work with a man is is open gay and he is in his late 40s and im in the police are normally man ordinated force and guess what he is cool and everyone gets on with him easy.

But what I can tell from you post the hardest thing is telling you family and it was the same for my sister. And my mum actually got upset with her, BUT my father and myself as her brother didnt. We totally support her and I know my mother is upset only because she is upset NOW. You family love you and something like this will not change it. I know how hard my sister has tried not to be gay she turned catholic for agers and did everything to change but she is who she is and that is the best thing for her. Mate you are a wonderful person and you need to be WHO YOU ARE, you will only be happy who you really are. If people dont except it well guess what its not your fault. It these ignorance. Its going to be hard to tell people but guess what in a few weeks/months/years when you meet someone who you fall in love with IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE forever and you will be truly happy. It will be better than living in this pain you are now. Your family will expect it in time.

Be who you really are buddy, its totally normal. Be happy mate and live the life you deserve.

**
Helpful - 0
1611284 tn?1301980663
I'm so sorry. I wish you didn't have to feel this way. What Annie said is so totally right; there is no changing your DNA. It's who you are. You would just be unhappy and resentful for the rest of your life, pretending to be someone else.

Come to the NYC! We don't care if your gay...just like we usually don't care when people are getting mugged either ;P Smile, just a joke!
Helpful - 0
134578 tn?1693250592
I guess in your shoes you could decide to be closeted your whole life, or you could make plans to leave for a place where being gay is not a matter of laughter and taunts.  There is no therapy or treatment to change sexual orientation, it is something inborn, like being right-handed or left-handed.  What do other gay people in your culture do?  Is there any large city where there is more tolerance for gay people?
Helpful - 0
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