When I have sex it hurts and does not please me at all.

[anonymous423]

I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years and when we started dating we had both agreed that we could wait to have sex. So 2 years later, we started to have sex (we had oral sex {ie: fingering, eating out, hand jobs, dry humping} for quite a while) but after the first few times, it still hurts. I have talked to other ladies I know and all of them say that they hated it to begin with but later started to enjoy it. After about 5 or 6 times of having sex, I still absolutely despise it. It not only feels like my boyfriend's penis is just scraping my vaginal wall, but I also feel a lot of pressure in my lower stomach area (on the inside). I know everyone is going to tell me to go to the doctor's, but I figured I would see if anyone else was having the same problem before I made a doctor apt. So please, help me out.  

[sweetpea03]

The stomach pressure you are feeling is probably because you are tense. If you are sufficiently turned on and relaxed, then these problems will most likely go away. If you aren't totally comfortable having sex, then don't. There's nothing wrong with waiting more time to try having sex again. And going to the doctors(gyno) is a good idea no matter what, so you can get an annual check up and also ask any questions you may have.

[Lala2306]

I get that lower stomache pressure thing as well.. but my boyfriend just has an average size penis... so im not sure that size actually has alot to do with it

[Westguy1003]

Well a trip to your OBGYN would not be a bad idea at all seeing as you're now sexually active but you knew that already...

You say it feels like he's "scraping" you? That sounds to me like you're not lubricating. Are you not turned on by the idea of sex? Are you not really ready to be sexually active? Or are you very nervous and tense? The scraping definitely sounds like a "dry" problem and if so there's a bunch of different lubricants you can buy over the counter in a drug store. KY is the big one obviously but theres certainly others.

Does he have a large penis? And are you kind of a small girl? It could just be that you're physically incompatible if you're actually feeling like he's pressing up into your stomach area. Although I don't think its possible he's going THAT far in it is possible that he's just too big for you. This happens sometimes.

It's important to wait until you're really ready to do this though. Don't force it or you could wind up hurting yourself. If you're nervous and tense up that will make you tighter and it'll hurt more. Relax a little bit. Or if you're not comfortable with it don't feel as though you have to do it. It's okay not to have sex. It's okay to keep doing the other things you were doing until you're ready to have intercourse.