Who am I?

[worriedsomuch1122]

I am an Asian guy in my late 30's and I came to US years ago. Before I came to US, I had been straight all the time. I was never attracted by guys and never thought about man-man stuff. I got married and have several kids. I love my wife and had happy life.

After I came to US, I happened to see some gay porn in a store and was curious. I rented some gay porn and watched at home. Since then I have been addicted to gay porn, and started to pay attention to hot guys. I tried to meet some guys and tried some habdjob, even oral sex. I love my wife very much and I am a good dad, so I have been always feeling guilty and tried to stop doing this.
I found I am not attracted to hot women that much in my whole life, even though I love my wife and our sex is normal.
So far I have not done much with men because of STD concern. I don't want to catch stds and pass to my wife. But I am still addicted to gay porn, and Hope to find a clean guy to try some sex. I know it's wrong, so I am really confused about myself.
Am I gay? But why I was never attracted to any guy in my early 30 years before I touched gay porn?
Am I bi? But I was not that into other women?  

Who am I?
Can anybody answer me?

Thanks.

Tom

[Dalubaba]

One cannot give a categorical answer as situation differ from a person to person. If you can take a guidance form a professional person, it may help you to understand your problem.Many a time we become curious for certain thing, By satisfying our curiosity, we become addicted it.

[worriedsomuch1122]

Does that mean a straight man can change to a gay, right? I read from some articles that gay is from born.
That's another thing that confused me.
After watching gay porn, I found gay porn turned me on more than straight porn, and from then on I started pay attention to some hot guys in life.
Thanks.

[worriedsomuch1122]

Thank you for your advice. I will try them for sure.

Tom

[Dalubaba]

I believe, if you can generate more interest in your sexual activity with your wife by sexual techniques, you may stick to your regular life. Do research in finding techniques which increase quality of yours and your wife's orgasm. I mention few exercises which may improve quality of your sexual activity . Male Deer Exercise, kegel exercise,  yoga energy locks-root chakra, navel chakra, and throat chakra + all chakra's lock to gather called maha bandh.If you start getting full body orgasms with your wife, your interest in other mode will dwindle. you may try new poses.If you give more pleasure to your partner, your own pleasure will increase.

[worriedsomuch1122]

I am a responsible person. So far I just tried habdjob and protected oral sex a few times. I know it's not the right thing to do, but I just cannot help from that. I love my wife and my kids and don't want to hurt them.
That's why I am really confused with myself.
You are right. It is all about pornography. After watching porn, I thought it's looks exciting and tried to experiment, and then felt guilty.
Probably I just reduce my porn time, and hopefully I can go back to normal life.
Thank you so much for your input and time. I really appreciate it.

Tom

[YardBull]

It is puzzling that you would turn so strongly to gay thoughts after so many years of marriage and fathering children.  A telltale sign is that you were seeking pornography and became curious over gay porn, whereas if you were not seeking pornography, the rest may not have happened.  Whether straight or gay, the fact that you were an established family man seeking out sexual stimulation outside of your home life is noteworthy.  It might take professional counseling to help you get a grasp on the reasoning behind your risky behavior that is jeopardizing your family's well being.