SEXUAL HEALTH
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Why does my bf go soft during oral sex?
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by x_kate_x, Apr 19, 2010
My boyfriend is always telling me how he loves it when i perform oral sex on him. But I dont like doing it anymore as whilst im in the middle of it he loses his erection which makes me feel rather self conscious.
Has anybody else had this or know what causes it?
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Member Comments (3)
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by ladyblue22, Apr 19, 2010
well, to know for sure why this happens you should ask him.
not to put him on the spot maybe just start out by saying...."I would love for you to tell me how you like me to do it, what feels good to you....is there something diff. that you want to try out"
You will see what he says...but don't take the blame for him going soft on you.
This could be as simple as him thinking about something that has nothing to do with sex, or him being stressed out about something and while he relaxes his mind wonders off to that.
Be more relaxed about it and just don't do it for a while. ...see what happens then.
communication in a relationship is very important...if things are right between you too i'm sure he will not have a problem telling you why.
Good luck!!
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by shazil, Apr 21, 2010
Probably he is not enjoying does not look like any other reason. Try heavy strokes. there can be one more thing, either too much sex or he is masterbating a lot, for that the penis looses its sensation and it feels less joyful so it can result in loosing errection.
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by severin76, Apr 22, 2010
It is not your "fault" and it really does not have to mean that you are doing something wrong. He can lose erections for some time even if he enjoys it, it can have different physical or psychological effects on his side. Just do not interpret it as your or his failure, even when he loses his erection for a while, it is OK, "the show can go on":))
Another problem is that is he feels under pressure that he MUST keep the erection or that he should reach orgasm in a short time, then it is most likely that he will focus on it too much and he will lose erection because of this psychological pressure instead of physical pleasure...
Some tips:
-Try to tease him a lot before starting to perform oral sex on him. Caress his sensitive parts of his body in the most sensual way, but do not touch his genitals for a while, just tease him. When he gets an erection, play with his penis for a while with your hands or mouth and then tease him again a little bit.
-You can try to use hands more often during oral sex, you can interrupt oral sex and give him a nice stimulation by his hand.
-Do not forget to play with his balls before or during oral sex, caress or lick them.
-caress or press against his perineum with your fingers
-if he is looking at you during receiving oral sex, touch yourself in a sexual/sensual way, caress your breasts and start playing with your clitoris for a while (the sight of a girl playing with herself belongs to the most intense turn-ons for many guys...)