Aa
erection
how do you stop unwanted erection?it seem like i have penis erection even when i ama not thinking about sex and it very embrassing because i am above average.is there any kind of underwear that will not make me show so much
Thanks again, thepixies, you are really, really helpful and have a lot to contribute that we women cannot. I have been interested in all your comments.
I think what matters may also be that I gre up in Germany, Europe, and where folks are much more natural about sex.
In the US, we often find the combination of 'over-sexed' and 'over-repressed' and which is not a good one.
Thanks again,
KAT
I think what matters may also be that I gre up in Germany, Europe, and where folks are much more natural about sex.
In the US, we often find the combination of 'over-sexed' and 'over-repressed' and which is not a good one.
Thanks again,
KAT
You're welcome. Sorry to hear that about your older son's dad. Very sad.
As for the step dad, I think the trust will be earned in time, but it will be hard for your son no doubt. It will probably just take a while and then hopefully they will become much closer.
But regardless of real dad, step dad, adopted, not adopted, when it comes to talking about penises, it doesn't matter. Most boys have a really hard time talking about these kinds of private things with *anyone*. It's amazing that they even talk to you about it. Most boys don't tell anybody at all, and they worry about all these things themselves which is quite sad. So it's lucky your boys are open with you. You rarely see that so it's a sign that you did something really well, and that the boys are pretty mature and open. That's great.
As for the step dad, I think the trust will be earned in time, but it will be hard for your son no doubt. It will probably just take a while and then hopefully they will become much closer.
But regardless of real dad, step dad, adopted, not adopted, when it comes to talking about penises, it doesn't matter. Most boys have a really hard time talking about these kinds of private things with *anyone*. It's amazing that they even talk to you about it. Most boys don't tell anybody at all, and they worry about all these things themselves which is quite sad. So it's lucky your boys are open with you. You rarely see that so it's a sign that you did something really well, and that the boys are pretty mature and open. That's great.
PS: My older son's dad also died a couple of years ago, and although my younger son's father (12) is really great with both boys, it's not the same, and he does not trust him for that reason. (like, because he is really his rival's (brother's) real father) if you know what I mean. And we , the dad/step dad and I don't live together and never married but our relationship is great, and better than most married once, and we did not have togo through the divorce. no legal arrangements whatever.
I think that's really good. They are so lucky.
As for his erections on the way to school etc, I would tell him that it's normal and EVERY boy gets it, and it will stop happening soon. I think that maybe if it was less traumatic for him, it might not happen as much or as bad. And I would also suggest telling him that when it does happen, to not focus on it, because that will only make it worse. You have to completely take your mind off it, and it can be really hard to do that. But you can do it if you really focus on tricking your mind, and try to focus on something else completely, with 100% of your attention. If you do that, and if the other thing is not arousing, (think about movies, video games, ANYTHING that isn't arousing), if you has all his attention in that, his erection will go. And if he can get good at doing that, it can go in under 20 seconds.
But you have to take your mind off it completely, and have to focus *fully* on something else.
Also, I found that wearing slightly tighter pants was better. Loose isn't good because it lets the erection free to stand up proud. If the pants are slightly tighter, they will hold it down against his body so it will be harder to see. It's important to not wear TOO tight underpants or boxers because they can restrict blood flow, but there are plenty of them that are just tight enough to hold the penis a bit closer to the skin. Similar kind of principle to a sports bra basically.
And the one last thing, is that most guys put their penis into their underpants/boxers in a certain way so that it's comfortable, and that can also make it better if you do get an erection. For example, if he puts it horizontal with the ground, and pointing to the left, then when he does get an erection it will kind of slip and end up pointing upwards, but it would be pointing upwards, flat against his body. Rather than if he puts it into his pants pointing straight down towards the ground, when it goes erect then, it would end up pointing outwards like a tent pole, and that is so obvious. Hope you know what I mean.
As for his erections on the way to school etc, I would tell him that it's normal and EVERY boy gets it, and it will stop happening soon. I think that maybe if it was less traumatic for him, it might not happen as much or as bad. And I would also suggest telling him that when it does happen, to not focus on it, because that will only make it worse. You have to completely take your mind off it, and it can be really hard to do that. But you can do it if you really focus on tricking your mind, and try to focus on something else completely, with 100% of your attention. If you do that, and if the other thing is not arousing, (think about movies, video games, ANYTHING that isn't arousing), if you has all his attention in that, his erection will go. And if he can get good at doing that, it can go in under 20 seconds.
But you have to take your mind off it completely, and have to focus *fully* on something else.
Also, I found that wearing slightly tighter pants was better. Loose isn't good because it lets the erection free to stand up proud. If the pants are slightly tighter, they will hold it down against his body so it will be harder to see. It's important to not wear TOO tight underpants or boxers because they can restrict blood flow, but there are plenty of them that are just tight enough to hold the penis a bit closer to the skin. Similar kind of principle to a sports bra basically.
And the one last thing, is that most guys put their penis into their underpants/boxers in a certain way so that it's comfortable, and that can also make it better if you do get an erection. For example, if he puts it horizontal with the ground, and pointing to the left, then when he does get an erection it will kind of slip and end up pointing upwards, but it would be pointing upwards, flat against his body. Rather than if he puts it into his pants pointing straight down towards the ground, when it goes erect then, it would end up pointing outwards like a tent pole, and that is so obvious. Hope you know what I mean.
Hear this, it's even more astonishing. When this kid, now 18, was 15, he once asked me if I had ever felt suicidal. I told him yes, and that many people feel that way sometimes in their lives. Also, that just because you feel it does not mean you do it, etc... Then I asked him if he had ever felt that way, or was feeling that way, and he said 'yes'. I told him that was Ok and to tell me more if he wanted to, and he did. he was totally relieved, because he thought he was mentally ill and if he told me I would scream and get hysterical and immediately have him sent to a Mental Hospital. I told him 'never' for talking about anything and that I was glad he told me. It made a huge difference for him. (BTW, both boys only tells me very private things and not their father.)
I have been taking my son to school occasionally and he goes nuts in the car. Yes, he calls it something like morning wood. he tells me it just won't go away and one glance and I can see that. that it's so embarrassing and he wears loose clothes and he says it doesn't help and I advised him to wear longer shirts, and yes, it really does show a lot. I told him to use an ice pack and then I kid him and I told him the other day that I remember when boys had that in PE in Elementary school, and that I thought it was really interesting and that it was not disturbing for me to see, and that maybe some girl will be turned on. (He has had no girlfriend) So he acts like I should shut up and that not one more word from me, and all that..(we fight in friendly ways).
He also walks around naked, both boys, and could not care less. but I told him he cannot do that and he stopped. Yet, he still does when he gets out of the bath. (Never, if their father is around) They trust me more, for sure.
Sorry I talked so much. Kat
I have been taking my son to school occasionally and he goes nuts in the car. Yes, he calls it something like morning wood. he tells me it just won't go away and one glance and I can see that. that it's so embarrassing and he wears loose clothes and he says it doesn't help and I advised him to wear longer shirts, and yes, it really does show a lot. I told him to use an ice pack and then I kid him and I told him the other day that I remember when boys had that in PE in Elementary school, and that I thought it was really interesting and that it was not disturbing for me to see, and that maybe some girl will be turned on. (He has had no girlfriend) So he acts like I should shut up and that not one more word from me, and all that..(we fight in friendly ways).
He also walks around naked, both boys, and could not care less. but I told him he cannot do that and he stopped. Yet, he still does when he gets out of the bath. (Never, if their father is around) They trust me more, for sure.
Sorry I talked so much. Kat
By the way Katarina, how do you know about your son having that happen? If he told you, then you are one extremely lucky mother to have a son that open! Most mothers would love to have that kind of openness and honesty from their son. I would have been waaay to embarrassed to tell my mother something like that. Even now I wouldn't.
Also, I forgot to say, this happens whether you are aroused or not! You can be thinking about nothing sexual at all, and still get an erection. Like I said, it's just something that happens to boys in their teens.
Also katarina777:
When it happens at night and in the morning, that is something slightly different, but still equally harmless and equally normal. It's called Morning Wood in America, and here in the UK it's called Morning Glory :)
It's pretty well known. As far as I know, it will happen during most of the guy's life, unless he has some kind of illness harms his erections. It's nothing to be ashamed about. It would be more worrying for it to not happen. I often wake up with it. It's not a problem. Usually by the time I run across the room to turn my stupid alarm clock off, it has mostly gone.
It's mentioned here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nocturnal_penile_tumescence
Also katarina777:
When it happens at night and in the morning, that is something slightly different, but still equally harmless and equally normal. It's called Morning Wood in America, and here in the UK it's called Morning Glory :)
It's pretty well known. As far as I know, it will happen during most of the guy's life, unless he has some kind of illness harms his erections. It's nothing to be ashamed about. It would be more worrying for it to not happen. I often wake up with it. It's not a problem. Usually by the time I run across the room to turn my stupid alarm clock off, it has mostly gone.
It's mentioned here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nocturnal_penile_tumescence
Hehe well as a a guy I can say a few things about this. First off, every single boy I knew as a kid, ALL experienced this at some point. Sitting on the bus, walking down the street, in the movies, waiting in line at mcdonalds... anywhere, they would have it happen.
It's perfectly normal, and it's something you should be happy about really, because it shows you that everything is working properly and that you are normal. It's just because in your teenage years, your body changes and hormones and puberty etc.. and this is just something that happens sometimes. It stops happening after a few years. By the time you reach about 18 or 19 or so, you have much more control.
It used to happen to me when I was sitting in French class and the teacher was really attractive... It's SO embarrassing as a teenager, but that's mainly because teenagers are very self conscious and easily embarrassed anyway. At my school, some of the young guys even used to laugh about it with each other, and they would exchange ideas of ways to stop it. I even tried some ideas myself.
Basically you just think of anything horrible.. Think of what it's like to get punched in the stomach and you get winded. Think of what it's like when a really heavy person stands on your toes. Think of mouldy bread and that horrible smell it makes. Think of a dead rabbit at the side of the road with maggots crawling all over it.
Your erection will vanish in no time. :)
Good luck.
It's perfectly normal, and it's something you should be happy about really, because it shows you that everything is working properly and that you are normal. It's just because in your teenage years, your body changes and hormones and puberty etc.. and this is just something that happens sometimes. It stops happening after a few years. By the time you reach about 18 or 19 or so, you have much more control.
It used to happen to me when I was sitting in French class and the teacher was really attractive... It's SO embarrassing as a teenager, but that's mainly because teenagers are very self conscious and easily embarrassed anyway. At my school, some of the young guys even used to laugh about it with each other, and they would exchange ideas of ways to stop it. I even tried some ideas myself.
Basically you just think of anything horrible.. Think of what it's like to get punched in the stomach and you get winded. Think of what it's like when a really heavy person stands on your toes. Think of mouldy bread and that horrible smell it makes. Think of a dead rabbit at the side of the road with maggots crawling all over it.
Your erection will vanish in no time. :)
Good luck.
My son has the same problem and loose clothing does not seem to help much, so I would be interested in advice too, for him as he is really bothered by it, especially in the mornings. It's not something where you can just distract yourself from, Curley Girl7.
The only thing you can do is wear loose clothing. Other than that, I can say that maybe distracting yourself is the best way. I don't have a penis, so I wouldn't really know...
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