Hello, I am 35 years old now and I am still virgin. I have been taught by my mom that my virginity is my best gift for my future husband so I have reserved myself. I have never been blessed with a right partner so I haven't got married yet. Very recently, I have met someone and we fell deeply in love with each other. However, something happened and we cannot end with each other. Just last night, we met for the last time to talk things over and to formally end our relationship and just be friends. I love him so much that I am very much willing to give myself to him. I wanted to make love with him, he was my first boyfriend and all my first experience was with him; first kiss, first touch, first embrace, first to say I love you with. We checked into a hotel and got so intimate. We started kissing and touching and when we got real wet, he positioned on top of me and tried to penetrate. It was so painful for me and he was trying to calm me and told me to relax. But I just couldn't relaxed. He could not get his penis inside me, he just couldn't penetrate me. We tried it several times and he still couldn't get in. He really got disappointed and I feel so bad that I couldn't make him ***. In the morning before he left, while we were saying goodbye, we kissed again and he got carried away, he brought me back to the bed and tried trusting into me again but again, he wasn't able to penetrate, I felt so useless. Good thing, he *** and I was a little content about that, at least he did. I didn't *** though but it doesn't matter to me anymore, he was all that matters to me. And now, I wasn't able to go to work because I feel so heavy, I feel hurt at my lower back, inner thigh and my ***.
Questions are: How come he wasn't able to penetrate me despite trying hard? My mind was like blowing with the pain and fear I was feeling, why is that? Does this mean I am incapable of being a woman, more so being a wife and a mother?
Please help me understand! Thanks a lot in advance!
I would tend to agree with Amber. Unless it's something else, I think you are too uptight about the issue that even though you say you love him you still can't do it. subconsciously it sounds like it is holding you back. If he was truly the one for you then I'm sure you would be able to relax enough for it to take place but this conviction that you have may be so strong that it will always be in the way. Especially when trying to have sex prior to marriage.
But I'm sure even with being the right person place and time, you'll still have some displeasure but shouldn't be like that.
Did you use lubrication? Sometimes that does the trick! Also there is a condition where a muscle in the vagina contracts involuntarily that prevents penetration this of course can be painful. You should go to your OBGYN to have this checked. Do you have painful periods and cramps? Endometreosis can cause painful sex as well. It also could have just been nerves. Next time have him try his fingers frist to loosen you up and then penetration. Good luck!
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