help please! !!!

[asha1388]

Please someone help!! Tonight my 3 year old daughter came up to me after being alone with my 12 year old cousin & said to me "mommy (he) took out his cookie (which is what we refer to as the vagina) & told me to put it in my mouth that I wouldn't choke" I then took her privately & asked her to tell me what happen & she then showed me & I asked what did you do she said "I said no my mommy told me not to do that" & I asked my cousin & he said of course he didn't I told him to get out of my house & I called his dad to get him before I call the police .. now my daughter told me she didn't put it in her mouth & he did not touch her... I called her Dr & told her but I need more answers I want him to get help or something I don't even know what to think say or do... can he get in trouble for this should I just call the police I'm at loss for words this is my little precious baby girl I want some type of justice

[lindahand]

The fact they are in denial is even more reason to call child and family protective services. This boy deserves help, he is not beyond hope, but he is going to be beyond hope if he doesn't get the help he needs - soon.

If you don't - you are going to be partly responsible for each child he molests along the path. You are his aunty, and you can be his hero. You can be the hero for a little girl who may not know that she has a right to say no to his advances. And if you think it ends with him putting his penis in their mouths - you are very naive. If he doesn't already, he will end up raping their tiny little bodies.

And yes it will cause all worlds of trouble with your mother and brother. They may end up cutting ties with you. They will react poorly judging from what you've said. It would be easier not to do anything - but easy doesn't make it right. It is horrible what happened to your little girl - you though have the chance now to be a Hero. To teach your daughter that the right thing to do, is seldom the easiest.

I know I am being a bit strong, but I get a sinking feeling because I know in my heart of hearts that if you sit and do nothing because of family pressure he will rape a child. In my mind this isn't a maybe its an absolute. And I think it is the duty of any adult who knows this to do everything in their power to prevent it. You gotta report this. Please do.

[TTinKKerBBell]

You must follow lindahand's advice.  You are Your daughter's advocate and you need to/should act on this!!  I also agree with hero65 - 3 year olds don't know how to make up a story like this!!  But I do disagree with Her statement about 12 year old Boys not having a "sex drive"!!   He is old enough to know this is wrong and He's old enough to get an erection and He's old enough to hurt/rape a 3 year old. What happened to Your Daughter can't be changed but You are morally responsible for other little children when You know this about the 12 year old Boy.  How/When/at what age? does rape and other sexual injustices start with a boy/a man? at the beginning of sexual curiosity? or later? - who REALLY knows?  You may have repercussions from other Family members but it's the right thing to do!!  He needs help before He hurts a Baby, a Girl, a Woman someday.
Good Luck

[hero65]

please don't you ever doubt your daughter she's 3 she's still pure she doesn't know how to lie ...

[asha1388]

He was abused as an infant. He does clearly have a lot of issues & my mom called his dad (brother & sister) & all he had to say was I know my son has problems but the story has changed 3 times (which is not true) & that my grandma is in denial & he knows his son is gonna end up in jail its a lost cause trying to talk to those people & it in fact makes me sick to my stomach knowing they think my 3 year old daughter made it up & is lying.

[lindahand]

He is a kid that desperately needs help or will leave a wake of victims in his path. He does NOT have a right to do this, and it will only get worse as he gets older. It is best to call family and child services, they are usually the ones that deal with this kind of thing. At 12 it is very unlikely he will be sent to juvenile detention.

It is much more likely the authorities will mandate him into special psychiatric care, and may be limitations on him being alone with children. Because he needs help and he won't get it if everyone is too afraid to rock the boat. Are you willing to tell the next victim that she wasn't worth it to report him. Are you willing to see his life ruined because he turns of age, and does end up in jail. He is young enough to be helped. Don't just sweep it under the rug because it is not going away.

This is sexual abuse, not just acting out. He was likely abused himself and needs help desperately for it.

[hero65]

there's no right answer there's what suits you and what is right for your child ... an investigation will make your little girl go through hell and will not help the boy at all so i think it is better if you try to solve it on your own with the help of your family and friends ...
he's just a kid and i think he's acting out he's 12 so i don't think he has a sex drive yet
i had a bad death experience in my family when i was younger and it turned me into a cutter so i can't imagine what he suffered that turned him into this ...
good luck

[summero87]

He wouldn't go to juvenile detention..someone clearly abused him or he's been around an seen some things he shouldn't have either ,at 12 he is just a child himself ...most likely if the authorities get involved there will be an investigation launched as to who hurt him followed by counciling for him and someone to talk to about what's happened to him ...I was molested by my older male cousin,they found out it was my uncle (his father ) that was touching him ,causing him to act out ..

[asha1388]

Thing is my grandmother adopted him, he went through a lot in his 12 years of life his mother was killed his dad is more of a friend. He already sees a shrink often. This is the 3rd little girl. The first two my grandmother didn't believe

[hero65]

if you call the cops he will go to juvenile prison and you will ruin his life forever and i'm not sure if he will get the result you want ... but there's another solution you can tell his parents and maybe they will make him see a shrink he will get better ...