tell your wife...get therapy and get std tests done.
guys i totaly agree with you guys, money is not an issue it does not help me cause i could go every day to a massage parlor and it will not make a diffrence in my life. i am an orthodox jew makes it worst i was brought up with values but what can i say my sex drive is just crazy. but i do not see myself stopping.
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There are probably more guys out there with sexless marriages but arent saying anything about it.
Hi, I am not a doctor or expert, so I just offer you my personal point of view, my personal opinion and I am aware of the fact that many people might not agree with me, but anyway...
-I completely understand your sexual frustration in marriage and I think that it is natural that you look for sexual satisfaction outside marriage. I do not condemn you or your activities in any moral or other sense.
-If I were you, I would keep these activities secret, I would not confess to your wife (if she knew about it, then her reaction could put your family at risk...)
-My theory is that if my wife does not care about my sexual needs, then she should not be so interested in the way how I satisfy my needs if she refuses to help me in this way. A willing wife could provide at least a handjob as a form of "emergency help"...
-I used to be in similar sex-starved marriage (she left and divorced me 8 years ago, by the way, I was not unfaithful to her, this was not the reason) and relationships and my problems get solved just when I started a new relationship two years ago with a girlfriend who has compatible needs as me (I prefer having sex every day and so does she).
-In my opinion you do not do anything wrong. Of course, it depends on moral or religious opinions. But from my personal point of view, I don´t see anything wrong with it, if you live in a sex-starved marriage.
-In my opinion, there is no (or just very very minimal or improbable) risk of HIV / STDs in the sexual contacts which you have described (handjobs).
-However, I understand that this "hobby" can be quite expensive, and what is more, if you don´t feel ok with it in your heart, if it goes against your morality or beliefs, then it is quite unpleasant situation for you, I suppose.
-Anyway, even if you decide to look for professional help, be careful and do not get trapped into some popular psychology groups or religious-flavoured therapies, who would just label you as a sex-addict while you can have just a higher sex drive (and it is natural). As for me, was I hypersexual in the past when I had the same sex drive as now just because my needs did not correspond to the preferences of my wife and it caused serious troubles for us? And did I get miracuously healed from one day to the next when I met a girl who was OK with sex? In my opinion, I have never been ill in mediacal terms, just in one period of my life, my situation was not corresponding with my sexual needs and now it is different.
I apologize to anyone who may feel offended by my remarks, I do not present my opinions as an absolute truth, just as my personal reflections.
I wish you the best of luck.
severin76