how common is my addiction?

[jessie8080]

so, im almost 18, and i have been addicted to masturbating myself for probably 6 years now. i know it is quite common for guys to be addicted to porn, but im not a guy, im a girl. it has taken a lot for me to admit this, but of course my family and friends dont know of my addiction. i was just wondering how common it is for girls to be addicted to this?

[CurleyGirl7]

Very common. Why do you think there are so many vibrators for sale out there?! When it comes to sex, guys and girls act the same. They want to know what feels good and they want to feel it. Masturbation is completely normal and there is no problem with it. You are exploring what you find stimulating and what makes you feel good. No man needed!

[jessie8080]

thank you curlygirl17, that was reassuring. i mean....im still addticted. which is a problem, so i know that i need to over come that but it helps to know that im not quite so alone.

[jessie8080]

but the problem is when i masturbate and i dont even want to. because i dont even masturbate anymore because im in the mood to anymore, its just becasue i feeel like i need to. so there is the problem.

[CurleyGirl7]

You feel you have to? Try keeping your mind busy. Time will fly by and you won't think about masturbating.
If it gets really bad and you don't want to anymore, do what I told my friend to do with her porn addicted boyfriend.
We programmed all of the porn sites that he used to look at (normal stuff like hardcore, anal, ect...), to freaky ones like beastilality (sex with animals) and grandma porn. Try looking at things that you think are sexually disgusting. I can say that from personal experience, you'll stop feeling sexual almost instantly! HAHAHA!
You don't even enjoy it?

[berlee]

hey i have the same problem i find myself always masturbating and i have a really hard time with watching porn i feel that whenever im home alone and have nothing to do thats wat i end up doing so i understand how ur feeling

[jessie8080]

to reply to curlygirl17, its not exactly that i dont enjoy it, its just that i have orgasms soooo often that im kinda burt out already. so im also worried that i will have problems with my future sex life, because i wont be as satisfied.  but thank you to berlee and curlygirl17 for responding. it has been helpful, and im trying to fight it more now. and berlee I'll be praying for you and that you will overcome this as well:D

[kelsey88809]

hey jessie, I'm a chronic masturbater too.  I've been doing it since I was a little girl.  I believe it is an addiction.  But I can go without it when I'm around people or even when I'm just hanging out with my husband at home, but as soon as he leaves there's that voice in the back of my head that says, " Ok, all is clear, time to masturbate."   I hate doing it too.  Like right before I do it I'm thinking " no this is wrong" so I do it anyway and feel even worse when I'm done.  I don't really know how to quit, or if it's just something we women have to do because we're so busy, and stressed all the time.

[jessie8080]

yeah, i often do it more when im super stressed, or bored. i dont do it when im with people, or at a friends house or anything, and im not married, but ive been doing it for possibly 5 years now. and it worries me that im addicted to this. i just dont htink it gets talked about as often as guys' porn addictions. so, if you dont mind me asking a personal question kelsey 88809, has it affected your sex life with your husband. i dont mean to be intrusive at all, and i understand if thats too personal of a question. i just want to know because that is something that worries me. i notice that the more often i masturbate the harder and less satisfiying it is to reach another orgasm. so, will it be difficult to be satisfied in my sex life?

[scaredintexas]

I do it all of the time and I have been going it for 10 years now. I do it about four to five times a day. I am a guy. It has not caused any performance issues in the past. I have been trying to hold out here lately.

[Jary08]

I used to be pretty bad too. I still look at porn and have a small vibe but once i met with my partner (we've been together almost a year) i didnt feel the need to do it as much. Masturbation gives you a buzz but sex gives you an even greater buzz, even if its not as intense as orgasming when masturbating.

So i wouldnt worry about it affecting your future sex life; once you settle down into a solid relationship you should feel a lesser need to want orgasms all the time. I didnt think my need would die down, cause it was so bad but it did!

Dont feel guilty or bad about masturbating. you are getting to know your body well and it will help when you have sex because you know what feels good and what doesnt.

As long as it doesnt take up your day and get in the way of normal things then you should be fine.

[CurleyGirl7]

There really aren't any serious problems that are caused by masturbation. However, I've noticed that women who masturbate have trouble being stimluated vaginally when they are having sex. The only way they can reach an orgasm is through clitoral stimulation. Try reaching an orgasm with a penis-shaped vibrator, and see how it feels.
Try to reach your G-Spot (inside the vagina, about 3 inches in).

[mr.lucky66]

Hogwash Curley. Do you want to be a modern day dr. Ruth? I don't subscribe to the thinking, that if it feels good do it. I think a little masterbating (masturbating) goes a long way. There's no real substitute for real sex

[Musefiend]

Hello, for on let me just say that I really don’t think you have any sort of addition, When I first started masturbating I was a lot like you Did it when ever I could and I started to burn out. now that I’m I have a steady Boyfriend, Dating 7 years, having sex for 5, I still masturbate, its actually a huge turn on my by boyfriend who like to watch and help, and because of this our sex is amazing because he knows what I need to reach orgasm.

So you really don’t have to worry about it when you do start to have sex. I do subscribe to the Dr. Ruth School of thinking. If it feels good please do it. This way when you do find that special someone, you know what you want, and how to get it. There is nothing more frustrating then burning for some need and not knowing how to get it.

I truly hope you don’t think you’re dirty or not normal for masturbating so often, if it’s not hurting your daily life then it’s really ok. Your body is going through hormonal changes like crazy, its getting ready for sex and there for reproduction. Its one of the reasons why you feel you must masturbate even when you’re not in the mood. And let me just say I'm glad you are choosing to masturbate, rather then find some one you don’t love to have sex with just to scratch an itch.

[CurleyGirl7]

Don't even start with me.
I'm just saying that from personal experience that people I have talked to who have had trouble getting excited through vaginal sex have had years of clitoral masturbation.
It's just an observation.

[Blue08]

I agree.I also heared same kind of results of women masturbation. It may not have effect on all women.

[mr.lucky66]

So therfore you can see that all this exsessive fooling with gadgetry hinders real sex. Sex with real people is real.

[Smeeo]

Not necessarily, some women are pretty much completely unable to orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone, and therefore some clitoral stimulation is required to achieve an orgasm.
This "excessive fooling with gadgetry" as you call it, is therefore necessary to bring them that pleasure, and to teach them what feels good. How can you expect your partner to give you an orgasm, if even you don't know what feels right?!

As CurleyGirl7 said, I'm sure there are cases of women who have trouble getting excited through vaginal stimulation due to years of clitoral stimulation, however I wouldn't say that masturbation and the use of gadgets "hinders" real sex.  In fact, I would say quite the opposite. I imagine that this self-discovery in fact enhances sex with a partner, as I said above, it teaches you what works for you personally, and you can therefore teach this to your partner...

Also I'm intrigued as to whether you would have the same opinion on young men masturbating so frequently??

Anyway, I'm rambling... I just basically wanted to say that I very much agree with CurleyGirl7 and Musefiend!!  :D

[shakena]

Might surprise u, i am rather a male but I' ve rather found so many similarities with my overmasturbation habit which has almost ruined my entire life. I am from a background where right around your age none is talking about sex to you coz is a taboo. being a christian very soon i realised that this addiction wasn't aligned with my faith at all and started over condemning myself. Strangely at church no one could tell me that he was facing the same issue what made me believe for so many years before i came to south africa that I was totally abnormal and not worthy to pray at all. Long story short, I just wanna tell you that you're addiction is very common situation although some choose to not say it aloud. Please don't feel unworthy for finding yourself doing it but try out gently to space the frequency and learn to raise the toast for each and every effort you will make. sorry to interfere in girly stuffs....Ah, Ah

[xx_3rin]

I masturbate. I'm  14 and have masturbated for a loooong time, since i was 6/7 i didn't know what it was until i was around 12 i used to call it "bumb massage". I do it to get rid of stress and sometimes when i have nothing else to do. I feel like i have known since i was a little girl not to do it as my parents always told me "not to touch my private parts in public"
It causes a lot of presure on you ie. will some one find me, will some find out,am i gay etc.
I fell guilty because i know I should have the will power to stop and have stopped in the past but I have a lot of stress on me recently and have continually done it to procrastinate from what I really need to do. Ie. school work.
I want to stop because i feel it is unhealthy as it tends to make me feel sluggish. And i also forget alot. Especialy recently it really scares me cause I cant remember things at all from earlier thatday or that week.
Im afraid it will effect me on losing focus and memory of all my school work etc.
Furthermore, I have expirienced recently sharp jabs in my abdomanal area after masturbation.
Its wierd for me to write this to as I have held it in so long.

Are my side effects somewhat normal.. cause it seems other people have expierienced similar things.
Is any one else on a pursuit to stop?

I hope that my confession will release some amount of personal guilt..
although i feel silly as i think I should be able to stop it on my own and resist any temptation.

this was mostly for me to convince my self that i can stop.
cause I can.
and I will.

[Canuckwoman]

I do it too!  I'm 33.  And I've been doing it since I was aabout 12 and I heard - no joke - Dr. Ruth telling you how to give yourself an orgasm.  I bet my mom would regret having the radio on all the time if she know that lol!  

Anyway, you are the second people I have talked to about this - the other being my crazy aunt who died last summer.  

I sometimes get pain in my yeah, lower abdomen, from it. I don't think it's bad for you , but maybe the muscles are too tight at that point.  

Are you sure you're gay?  Don't just assume at 14, that you are gay, just because you masturbate and enjoy your woman's body.   Then again, you might be and that's ok too.  I'm just saying, keep your options open.  It's not easy, in this world, to be gay.

Mr.  Lucky, I am a strong Christian (left wing liberal one), and I can tell you that Jesus never spoke out against masturbation.   His disciples spoke against sex in general, but Jesus never did.  He just wanted to make sure people were being faithful to their partners, and faithful to God.   Sexuality is a gift God has given us, and we don't need to be ashamed of it.  Believe me, it has taken me until a few months ago, to really believe this.  

I have to agree with Musefiend, that I'm glad all the posters are pleasuring themselves like they know how instead of getting with a stranger or someone not good, just to be satisfied.

I used to masturbate in the bath, and my Dad, I'm sure he would have heard an dknown, because he was in the next room resting most of the time (he was sick) but that never occurred to me until a few years ago! Oh, geez.   He never said anything.   He's very supportive and that is how it should be.  

But, yesterday and today, I spent hours, like 6 or 7 hours watching porn online.  Can you believe it?   Uhhj.  Finally, like you're boyfrined, I got to the point that, ok, this isn 't doing it for me, and what'?  She's doing what?  Ewww.  And stopped watching!   But I don't know what causes me to do that.  It's not normal for me or anyone... is it?   I think i'm trying to get turned on or something, but voyeurism isn't for me.  

And I am Christian -- I want to do it with someone who loves me.  Not see it online with some hookers screwing sick men.  Some of thjem look like husbands and wives that are just having a good time and sharing it.  That is ok I guess.  Although I think it should be shared between a husband and a wife, or dedicated partners at least.  But not this other stuff... some of the women looked like teenagers.  In addition to being worried for those little girls, I hoped noone was tracing the fact that I was watching these films.  Is it illegal in Canada to watch porn?  I hope not.   I'm a teacher - I teach adults, but still.  

Ugg.  I'm disgusted.  But I know it's a real apetite in myself.   I would like to not do that again.

Oh, I also had cybersex twice, and both times really regretted it after.   The second time was last night.  The first time I swore I wouldln't do it again, except I was online and someone wanted to do it,and I felt like I wanted to at that moment.   So I did.

Also very unlike me.  Or at least that is what I try not to be.

Any comments?  
Thanks

[xx_3rin]

Hey again

Well personally I'm not gay but just speaking out for everyone- those seems to be some of the questions people ask themselves

Well I've made my newyears resolution - too have enough will power to stop.

I don't watch porn exactly but play these silly hentai games sometimes.
Personally  i want to stop now because I hear that it will make it harder for your partner to turn you on if you do it chronically.
Furthermore, i feel so guilty after even if it is normal. And after i stop for a while I feel a lot less weighed down. Like its a secret I hide and by not doing it I dint really have a secret. It's nice.

WIll power is the key.

Just stop day by day and think of the future not the present.

[mtgoat911]

if you truely are a real sex addict then will power is not enough
i work in the field of addiction but have little experience with sex addiction other than seeing this a few times
goto saa-recovery.org
there is a quiz you can take
and an explanation that may help you determine if you are infact addicted to sex
if you have a real sex addiction you will not be able to be in a relationship without cheating
or you may turn to criminal behavior to satisfy sexual desires

Answer these twelve questions to assess whether you may have a problem with sexual addiction.

Do you keep secrets about your sexual or romantic activities from those important to you? Do you lead a double life?
Have your needs driven you to have sex in places or situations or with people you would not normally choose?
Do you find yourself looking for sexually arousing articles or scenes in newspapers, magazines, or other media?
Do you find that romantic or sexual fantasies interfere with your relationships or are preventing you from facing problems?
Do you frequently want to get away from a sex partner after having sex? Do you frequently feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter?
Do you feel shame about your body or your sexuality, such that you avoid touching your body or engaging in sexual relationships? Do you fear that you have no sexual feelings, that you are asexual?
Does each new relationship continue to have the same destructive patterns which prompted you to leave the last relationship?
Is it taking more variety and frequency of sexual and romantic activities than previously to bring the same levels of excitement and relief?
Have you ever been arrested or are you in danger of being arrested because of your practices of voyeurism, exhibitionism, prostitution, sex with minors, indecent phone calls, etc.?
Does your pursuit of sex or romantic relationships interfere with your spiritual beliefs or development?
Do your sexual activities include the risk, threat, or reality of disease, pregnancy, coercion, or violence?
Has your sexual or romantic behavior ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal?
If you answered yes to more than one of these questions, we would encourage you to seek out additional literature as a resource or to attend a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting to further assess your needs.

To learn more about the SAA program.

goto saarecovery.org

[iwillwinthebattle]

Way to be, xx_3rin!  You can do it.  I've gone about 4 months before, and then I caved.  I like your attitude.  I admire anyone who can overcome addictions.  Especially addictions as hidden as masturbation can be.  We are our own masters, and can overcome this habit.  Control over one's self is a strong measure of their virtue.  Virtue is a diminishing but yet much needed attribute.  Keep it up!

[iwillwinthebattle]

I'm glad that you are choosing to overcome this.  I admire your faith and example by being willing to pray for berlee.  I think it says a lot about your character.  Not only that, but I think that as we pray for others, we in part help ourselves.  Keep it up.  You can do it.  I'll pray for you too.  Thanks for your example.

[xx_3rin]

Im afraid i caved but before i saw you encouragement!
Thanks so much, i find that encouragement gives a person the strength they need to over come addictions( in my case masturbation as having people behind you step by step helps a lot. You've inspired me to try and stop or at least control my self more.
I do hope we can continue to all encourage each other in the future.
Will try again; hopefully this time i will go longer!
Thanks again.
xx_3rin

[btd101]

Buddy the entire porn industry is aimed at your age group.You masterbating (masturbating) at your age is so normal im not even gonna say anything more than Relax.