i am seriously tired of this crap

hi, I am 16yrs old female. suffering from masturbation.
since i was 13 i did this. and i think since then my daily routine and my life changed.
sometimes i wanted to stop but i did it to make myself fall asleep and
sometimes just do it without specific reason.

i excercise more than 11 times a week, play two different sports, busy school work
but still i dont know what makes me to continue this.

i cant tell anyone because its so embrassing and i want to stop and do something else.
i dont think i m normal, for fact i dont grow as much as i should've been because i played sports regulary and
excercised but when im alone i go search up unappropriate stuff like porn and i will do it again.

it is giving me so much stress for fact i can' control myself properly and some scenes from porn is keep
showing on my head and i will always think about those stuff,
sometimes i feel like i am too perverted and disgusting.
i think its more because i am a girl too, if i do this too much would this
effect me in my future marriage or sex life? would i not grow or have problem concentrating?

i really want to stop but i have no one to talk to or get counselling because i dont want my parents to know.

help.

[nm132456]

and and,, to add some more, i feel like my neck and fingers are getting fatter and thicker as the time goes and recent years i was always tird, zoned out and didnt care about anything very much....

[Kayannaboo]

Hmmmm I think at 16 we were all curious and with the raging hormones its no wonder. In high school I knew people who masturbated regularly and watched porn all the time. I am not sure its a medical issue but perhaps you could speak to a medical practitioner or a counsellor.


Anna

[remar]

You could be doing this every day because of stress. It seems like you have quite a busy schedule. Do you enjoy being so busy with sports and school activities, or is it stressful?