Aa
is my husband a homosexual
i have been married 10 yrs,a yr into my marriage i got pregnant had a little boy,6 weeks later found out i was preg.again,when i was 8 months pregnant my husband comes home with a 14inch dildo.i was shocked to find out it was for him.he says he has homo tendancys.we have had sex maybe 40 times in 10yrs.he has brought home serval dildo the same size,wanting me to strap it on role play and do him,he verbaly acts out his fanices.im discusted by it all.im not into that.at times we he is angry he says he has looked for men..im rapid cycleing bi-polar and lived a very abusive child hood this has crushed me,i feel so betrayed,ashamed,angry,ect..he denies ever being with a man..i have cauht him using the dildos.he has used this as a weapon to keep me with him because he threatens to tell our children..but then he will deny being gay..i think he is gay,, is my husband a homosexual??
How can 14 inches be pleasurable to a human rectum? Seriously, he must have had a lot of anal intercourse before even thinking about something that large.
Just the fact that he purchased that and not some 5 inch one tells me he has led the life of a gay man for a long time before meeting you.
I think he just wanted kids.
Just the fact that he purchased that and not some 5 inch one tells me he has led the life of a gay man for a long time before meeting you.
I think he just wanted kids.
http://www.mydaily.com/2011/01/05/is-my-fiance-gay-kiri-blakeley-can-t-think-straight/?icid=maing|main5|dl3|sec1_lnk5|34548 is a review of a book called "Can't Think Straight" written by a woman whose fiance came out as gay after ten years of their relationship. Maybe you would want to read it.
While things are changing year by year and many males are no longer afraid to come out of the closet, there is no doubt that many males have partnered with females and gotten married as well so as to 'fit into society's norms'. Is he gay? Your post has conflicting messages in it so I sure won't offer up an answer to that question. Do you recall any other behavior in your husband that seemed to raise red flags that he was hiding something?
Well I'm not sure if I should believe this posts since you state you're bi-polar. You could have been acting out your bi-polarism while you was typing this posts for attention.
But if this is true, seek a professional counselor that deals with situations like these.
Good Luck!
But if this is true, seek a professional counselor that deals with situations like these.
Good Luck!
Well, whether or not he is gay, you are dealing with conflicts on lots of levels, and married couples need to address their conflicts.
If you are bipolar with an abusive childhood, and he is a deeply closeted gay man (or else just likes the helpless feeling of being on the receiving end of a large dildo), those things alone are enough to make your lives much more challenging than the average person's. Obviously, ten years ago who he seemed to be was okay with you. Maybe you didn't see that he was different than other guys, or maybe you did but you liked it. Now, you don't. It's time to talk.
It's in fact possible he has never had a gay act, especially if he believes being gay is wrong. But forcing him to admit he is gay will not solve anything in any case. The question really seems to be what does he want his life to be? And what do you want your life to be?
It sounds like you don't want to stay married if he says he is gay. Is it because the sexual actions he asks are repulsive to you? If he said he wants to stay married no matter what, but not to have sex, would that be a deal-breaker for you? (There are iwomen who would be glad to have a closeted gay man for a husband. ) The blackmail he is using in that regard makes the whole question especially unpleasant, and threatens to take the whole discussion of your futures off track. You need to get to a problem-solving approach, not a threats-and-shaming argument. There is no "being right" here, your lives are too complicated. There is just the need to solve your common problem, which is, what to do about your marriage given what he wants and what you want.
For all of this, I would go to a therapist with him to problem-solve about your future. He should ultimately decide what he is, but right now you'd be in a better position if he would even just say what he wants.
Good luck. Make an appointment this week.
If you are bipolar with an abusive childhood, and he is a deeply closeted gay man (or else just likes the helpless feeling of being on the receiving end of a large dildo), those things alone are enough to make your lives much more challenging than the average person's. Obviously, ten years ago who he seemed to be was okay with you. Maybe you didn't see that he was different than other guys, or maybe you did but you liked it. Now, you don't. It's time to talk.
It's in fact possible he has never had a gay act, especially if he believes being gay is wrong. But forcing him to admit he is gay will not solve anything in any case. The question really seems to be what does he want his life to be? And what do you want your life to be?
It sounds like you don't want to stay married if he says he is gay. Is it because the sexual actions he asks are repulsive to you? If he said he wants to stay married no matter what, but not to have sex, would that be a deal-breaker for you? (There are iwomen who would be glad to have a closeted gay man for a husband. ) The blackmail he is using in that regard makes the whole question especially unpleasant, and threatens to take the whole discussion of your futures off track. You need to get to a problem-solving approach, not a threats-and-shaming argument. There is no "being right" here, your lives are too complicated. There is just the need to solve your common problem, which is, what to do about your marriage given what he wants and what you want.
For all of this, I would go to a therapist with him to problem-solve about your future. He should ultimately decide what he is, but right now you'd be in a better position if he would even just say what he wants.
Good luck. Make an appointment this week.
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